What's wrong with adopting to complete your family?

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JSB	Sorry I don't have the answers to this one, but I am interested in the answers you get. We are also adding to our family through adoption, so I feel for you. I find I don't listen to many negative people any more, life is too short to be that unhappy with everything. Too bad many people haven't figured this one out yet. I can't wait to read the answers you get!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sparkle21	Adopting is the greatest gift you can give a child. I work for the third largest Adoption Agency in CA. In 2 years adoptions has quadrupled. So this negativity is nonsense. You are giving a child a family it otherwise wasnt going to have. How awful to see children tossed from foster care homes throughout life. Children need stability. You are giving them a shot at life. There are no negatives to it. Parenting is hard in and of itself. People run into the slightest bit of trouble with an adopted child and they blame everything they can on the "adopting" part saying they wish they could go back. Those aren't parents doing it for the sake of having a child. They are doing it to "complete" their family. Adopt to love a child and give it the oppurtunity of a wonderful life. Dont adopt to fill any void. Adoption is a selfless and loving act- You are in it for the long hall. God Bless. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

paradiseguy45	Adoption is one of the most precious and wonderful gifts that can be given to a child. My three younger brothers, my youngest sister and I were all adopted by the same couple when I was 15 years old. These two people, who I have come to call "Mom & Dad" were unable to have children, but were able to offer us five siblings a caring and loving home. Mom & Dad are proof positive of the benefits of adoption. Also, two of my wife's and my five children are adopted and I can not imagine life without our two oldest girls. Children are a blessing and a gift - no matter how they become your children. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Katie	I have seen that same negative outlook towards adoption on here and have always been so confused by it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

monica_au04	There is nothing wrong with adopting a child. There is something wrong with a stranger telling you not to adopt for purely selfish reasons. I work in the child & family services arena and can tell you that there are plenty of adoption related programs that can help you and your wife make an informed decision about adoption. These agencies exist to ensure that the child & the new family are both protected & both prepared for this new step. If you are serious about adopting, visit the website below & draw your own conclusion from a reliable professional counselor who specializes in adoption. Don't allow the users of Yahoo Answers to influence your decision. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

K.J.	there is nothing wrong with adopting a child, actually it's very good, because your going to give that kid a family instead of he/she growing up in an orphanage, and i think thats great. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lonewolf	Wow,how cool. There are so many children who needs good homes ! Glory to God you are making a very wise choice ! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mrs. Ransom	There is nothing wrong with wanting to adopt a child. As someone who has worked for Children's Services in the past I think that it wonderful. There are millions of children out there that need lovong homes and parents. I wish you and your wife the best of luck!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mrs S.	I live in an eastern European country and volunteer in an understaffed orphanage. I see babies who are malnourished and understimulated. These babies get little attention, and almost no love. After getting out of the orphanage at age 17 over 50% of them end up in jail. I think there is nothing more wonderful than a family that would come and adopt them and give them hope, love, and a home to belong to. Adoption is one of the most selfless acts. I think you and your wife are wonderful. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Pam H	I think it is great. Don't worry about those people who don't agree. It is good all involved. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Isabel A	I am very skeptical when I hear the phrase "complete my family". I'm just wondering how your existing child will feel to know that your family wasn't complete with just her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ME	There's nothing wrong with it, if you have it in your heart to do so then that's great! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

AdoreHim	I too cannot believe some of the negativity here about adoption. I am adopted and have 2 adopted kids. You go ahead and adopt that baby- and do not let the negativity sway you. There are some bad adoption stories I am sure, but my adoption experience was and is wonderful. You are not stealing a baby- the birth mom has chosen life for her child, and she knows that she cannot raise him/her , and loves her child enough to place for adoption with a family like yours. If you don't have health insurance, it costs plenty to have your own child, too, so don't allow these people to get you upset, that is exactly what they are trying to do. God bless you Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

twons517	there is nothing wrong with that- I applaud you for doing so! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Just Me	Ignore those people. Adopting is a great thing, and is as personal of a choice as conceiving and having a biological child. My husband and I don't want an only child either. We just feel that we want them to have a sibling to grow up with. If we were put in your situation after we have our first we would adopt as well. Good luck!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

April H	I think it is a wonderful idea, but my son is a only child and I didn't think just because I only had one child my family wasn't complete. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Antonia	I think adoption is very noble. You are taking someone who has NO ONE under your wing to care for them. There is nothing wrong with that. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sparkles	Well R been as this is your question I'm wondering if you don't hold the key yourself lets explore it for a while, indulge me.x I see a lot of negatives I have one child I am stealing or buyin I just don't understand those are the real questions only you can answer perhaps share this with your wife. Good luck I think you'll get your answers there.x Edit we ask what we know but without knowing it I'm not being harsh here just offering my own knowledge.x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Shannon XoXo	what makes it wrong is where the babies come from. someone is pregnant, they are having second thoughts of being able to raise their child properly because of financial issues in most cases. instead of having some support system offered so that they can care for their child, instead they are told, "well you can't afford a child, so you don't deserve one. you should give your child away to a family who can buy him/her all kinds of things." so the mother feels guilty and says, "well these adoptive parents can give my child more, I guess, it would be selfish of me to keep him/her." so she signs a paper that once her baby is born then she will give him/her up for adoption. then her baby is born. and she sees how beautiful this baby is that came from her. all she wants is to hold her baby and be the best mommy ever. but no she said that she wasn't going to keep it. so... no going back now. then she is sad because her child is gone. it's very traumatic and in some cases leads to drug use and even suicide for the mother. the baby is traumatized from losing its mother and possibly has attachment issues for the rest of its life. and now you have this baby. the mother calls you up and tells you how she is grieving, and how she wants her baby back. but you paid all this money and your family is now 'complete,' and the child is yours, so you just cut off contact. that's why it's bad. in my opinion. people make this decision to relinquish the child before it is actually born and they regret it later on and they can't change it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kati X	There is totally no problem with adopting, your not buying a baby! Your most likly going to give he or she a much better life than what they would have in care. Also if you want to complete your family I'm sure that you will give the adopted child the best life they could imagine. Anything is better than being in a care home. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

El Jefe	Nothing is wrong when you open your home and life up to anopther human being. You will change the life of a little one for the better and may end up changing your entire world. Follow your heart, people are so self centered these days and care nothing about outhers outside their little box of a mind. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

??	I guess those negative comments are from the ones who actually had negative experience, usually the adoptees. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

atothefo	Absolutely nothing. Adopting is one of the most compassionate, caring, and completing thing one can do. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

minimouse68	I am a 39 year old adoptee who has met, and had a "relationship" with my birth family. The best thing they ever did for me was give me away. I have a wonderful family. Ok, so some people have less than wonderful adoptions, thats their problem not yours. If youre prepared to help a child in need then good on you!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

a healing adoptee	Most people on here that get the negative responses are people who ask questions about raising money to adopt or what is a cheap way to get an infant. So, yes these people will get a negative response. For those adoptive parents it seems that they will get a child any way necessary, even going around the legal way to get one. Now there are adoptive parents that have or wanting to adopt for the right reasons. It is because they want to become a family, and provide a home for a deserving child. To say you are adopting to complete a family is almost equating a child to an object. They are people, human beings. You should want to adopt because you have a desire to open your heart to a child and love it, you shouldn't adopt because you want the child to complete or fill a hole. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gemma534	I don't think there is anything wrong with adopting..There are so many great, beautiful children out there who need loving homes, why do we NEED to bring in our own. We can love another child just the same. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tish	after sifting through the responses as to not be overly redundant, i found a couple of things that i'd like to point out: 1- most people who posted obviously have little experience with adoption. 2- the answers are mostly stock and cliche'. 3- the answers from those who have experienced adoption (both good and bad) seem to address the concerns you have. -------------------------- my response: completion is subjective. for some, it is buying a house. for others, it's landing a great job. but there's one thing for sure: completion always opens the door for another "goal" to be completed. it's a never-ending cycle of "goal-completion-goal." the problem i have with "completion" as a reason to want to adopt or have children is that it implies a void. and i am a strong believer that kids should NEVER be conceived or adopted to fill a void. i don't think you are horrible for wanting a child, but i think that your rationale (as it's stated here) is a bit too self-centered for some of us. children should never be desired to be playmates or to complete anything. children IMO should come into the family to "compliment" not "complete." and i am truly sorry for your wife's medical conditions. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

smile for me	no adopting is good ... that child needs a home Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LaurieDB	Unfortunately, a lot of people who get branded as anti-adoption are actually anti- current adoption LAW as it affects adopted persons and anti- methods used by some agencies. The two are not the same, and plenty of those who fall into this category are natural parents and even adoptive parents. Some agencies have been rather pushy in making women who are simply pregnant and only CONSIDERING adoption feel pressured into making that choice. They haven't even given birth and are being asked to relinquish. Women who relinquished based on this often feel pain for a lifetime at giving up their child. These women wish that they'd been offered other choices just as vehemently, including options to help them keep their own flesh and blood child. Certainly there are plenty of children in foster care and there are natural mothers who truly feel that adoption is what they want. These children do need families. The laws that affect adopted persons, especially those that affect them as adults, are another story. There is drastic reform needed there. So, anti-adoption? No. Pro-reform? Yes. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

chik7896	There is nothing wrong with it. These kids need nice loving parents and I think you are doing a wonderful job. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Wilma Duckie Deene	You are not horrible. Adopting is wonderful! Expensive? Yes! Emotional Roller coaster? Yes! Sometimes does it feel like an invasion of your privacy to have all these people come and go through you whole life? You bet! Worth it? And then some! Think of it this way, it's easier to dispose of unwanted pregnancies in our society than to make the choice that is all about love. We live in an upside down world sadly. I empathize with your wife's predicament and don't take everything you read here as gospel . . . even what I write! LOL All i can say is we have 2 chldren in our family, one we were blessed with through adoption, the other through a life threatening pregnancy. My girls call us an adoptioncy family. Would I change either? Nope! Did I buy or steal my children? Nope! They both cost a lot of money, they both came with great sacrifice, and they both are the most precious treasures anyone could ask for! Go for it and complete YOUR family any way YOU see fit! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No