Should We Adopt This Baby?

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HappyMomAnna	(edited) My feelings are if you are not sure then don't.... It also seems that based on other questions you have details with your daughters adoption that still need to be resolved... Best to take care of those issues before committing to a special needs baby. ETA: Are you doing Foster Care or Foster to Adopt? Reading your other questions and answers make me even more confused???? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Theresa M	This would be very tramatic so leave this little baby where is he and let him be. I also agree with the other person on here you are asking life questions here.. I am not real gunhoe on adoption because I know two cases where kids grew up and turned on the people who adopted them and cared for them and one family the husabnd passed and then the adopted son took her for everything he could nd she died not having anything to bury her with, nbut not all people are like that.... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Diva In New York	I am suprised an agency would want anyone to adopt a baby thats dying ? Sounds odd. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

roxyjinks38	yes you should adopt this baby you are already knew this i think before you asked us God will help you thru this just believe ask the most from him believe it he saved my son and i didn't adopt him he was my birth son yes he still has health issues and always will they say he could die still he's thirteen but i believe God said he'd save him and he wont die will he get sicker possible but he wont die not until he's old i believe God my husband get's mad because i wont pray for our son to be completely healed and i said why God spoke to my heart and told me he'd live the doctor's see him on a regular basis and can't believe how healthy he is he has cortal necroisis of the kidney's both of his kidney's are preemie size he was born five weeks early he's healthier then the rest of us so I know God will do the same for you just believe it's that simple and no I'm not a perfect christian either half the time i don't even go to church and he still saved my baby because i believe well all my prayers Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tiffany	if this was me i would adopt him anyways cause you'll be hurt if he lives and u didnt adopt him or if he died and u didnt adopt him and if u do and he dies but think about the positive he will make it have faith and u will be happy smoking wont kill him the only thing u really worry about right now is that hes premature Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kasey A	I think you should pray about it, and if that's God's will for you then I say go for it. If something were to happen to him, at least he would have parents that loved him until that point- and he would go be with Jesus anyways. God said let the little children come to me, and we're suppose to be like him. It would be hard to handle, but pray for healing and believe God for miracles...that baby can live-and you just might save his life! =) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Adopted Jane	1) I think there is far more to this baby going to probably die than the mother smoking all through the pregnancy. Years and YEARS ago before people knew how bad smoking was women smoked all through their pregnancies I would say its a LOT more than that and they arent telling the full facts or they dont know the full facts 2) I really dont think you should make any life altering decisions based on comments from a internet site and I Think you should get a independant doctor to assess the situation 3) As a previous poster said Sick Babies do need a LOT OF LOVE to get them through, so maybe you could be there for this baby NOW and try to help this baby live 4) That would be surely gods mission for you? hence why this baby was presented to you ? Forget about the adopting side of this for now, help this baby get well with LOVE, if no one else is there for this tiny little baby... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

singlemum_08	I think you should go for it.. He should have a loving family even if there is that chance he dies. At least he would have had someone that loved him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

red&sassy	Many times the difference between life and death for a baby in this condition is love. Who is holding that baby right now? who is stroking that baby's body right now if he can't be held? He needs that 24 / 7. That is my main concern. Back in "the day", EVERYONE smoked. ALL my mothers friends smoked through all their pregnancies. My mother smoked and had 6 children. The last pregnancy was with triplets. I can remember when visiting the hospital and we smoked while we were there. I was a teenager. People did smoke in the hospitals and everywhere else. They drank too. There is a difference between having some drinks and being an alcoholic. So, I don't know about what this doctor is telling you. Whatever you decide, can't you stay with the baby? Deprivation of love will kill that baby faster than anything else. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ktliz909	i am adopted & born 3 months early...they called my parents & said we have a baby here 4 u 2 adopt but she only weighs 2 pounds & it doesnt look like she's going 2 make it but my parents adopted me anyways & im thr only child & they love me 2 death & i lived so just have hope, pray, & if i were u id adopt him but im only 14 so u might want some1 elses opinion but just telling u my story Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Saint Radio: Rocco's Momma	If you love this baby go for you, but make sure you can accept the pain of losing him. Wouldn't it still hurt if you didn't adopt him and he still died? There is a chance he could live, there have been such medical wonders. Do what is right to you. I'm glad you answered my question. If it's still going to hurt then you should, you can take some comfort knowing you loved him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lady	i am 29 years old, my mom smoked her entire preg, in fact the doctors back then encouraged her to smoke to get the birth weight down, and i turned out ok. the only ill effect i have is i am more prone to bronchitis. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Morgaine	I know of someone who smoked throughout all three of her pregnancies, and all of her children are fairly healthy. I do not think that just smoking would be the babies problem. Smoking is bad during pregnancy, but it has more to do with developmental stuff than health. If you don't know if you should or not, than I think you should not. If you are more concerned about how YOU will feel if the baby lived or died, than you really shouldn't be adopting in the first place. Adoption is supposed to be about the child, not about the adoptive parents. Again, I will say that just because his mother smoked throughout her pregnancy does not explain his medical issues. There has to be something else if he is as sick as you say he is. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sizesmith	Just a suggestion, but since you already love him, and if something happens, as a human being with a soul, you know you would grieve, take a chance, and possibly get a guardianship on the baby. That way, you can see him, love him, let him know that someone cares. Babies need love, and attention, and especially this little guy. My son was born a month premature, the mother smoked, and he was born meth addicted. The beautiful thing is, at 7 months, you can't tell it, he is very intelligent, happy, well adjusted, is trying to walk, crawls, and best of all, I'm greeted by a smile every morning when he wakes up. He wakes up by kicking this toy that is velcroed to the side of his crib that has farm animals and makes sounds. If I lived near you, I'd be there tonight, loving him, touching him, and letting him know he is loved. Even if he doesn't make it (I have faith), say a prayer, and know that he has much less of a chance if no one loves him! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Eagiusti	I have never experience anything like this ... but I can certainly understand your dilemma. On the one hand, you know this baby deserves to have a family and be cared for ... on the other hand, you are setting yourself up for possible heartache. You can look at it one way -- God won't give you anything you can't handle. No risk, no gain. Maybe you can save this baby's life. Can you afford all the crazy medical bills? Or you can look at it another way -- it's very sad, but it doesn't have to be your responsibility ... and you can't always help everyone. If you or your husband suffer from depression at all, I wouldn't recommend it because the result could be catastrophic to your mental health. Maybe you can make a list together of pros and cons ... and go from there. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sk8ermom	Check out this blog from my friend. they adopted a baby boy in July that was born at 24 weeks and really wasn't expected to live. It is very inspireing what they went through and all the pics really help tell the story. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Marie C	My mother smoked all nine months of her pregnancy, and here I am today.....a 49-year-old healthy woman. And a 36-week preemie has an EXCELLENT chance of survival. It sounds to me like there is some missing information here. If the child truly is very sick, there must be some other reason outside the smoking and prematurity. If he's not, then you are just being paranoid about adopting a baby that did not have PERFECT prenatal care. Or there's some other reason you're reluctant to adopt him. Or you're a troll. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jennifer L	What an agonizing decision! My heart goes out to you and to this poor child! If the medical expenses were not cost prohibitive (and if there were assistance available), I think I would adopt the child. If nothing else, you can be there to love and support this baby through the first and last days of his life. That is a rare and precious gift to another human being. That said, preterm babies have a better chance of surviving now, more than ever before. Neonatal technology is getting better every day and it's remarkable the advances that have been made in just recent years. I have twin nieces that were almost 3 months premature and now they are normal 12 year old girls. Preemie babies respond well to contact and connection from those that care about them. Physical touch, talking, comforting, allof these improve the survival rate of preterm neonates. Any NICU nurse will tell you this. Pray hard, keep on top of the child's healthcare, get second opinions, if needed. If you choose not to adopt, please be there for this child. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Still Me	I suggest meeting with the NICU Social Worker at the hospital -- she/he deals with these situations daily, and can help you with the reality of parenting this little one. She/he may also be able to give you info about a Preemie Support Group or other parent support group that you could go to and listen to other parents who are parenting a critically ill infant. Smoking can cause severe deficits in some babies -- all babies are different, and some are severely affected by smoking, others by even moderate drinking while another baby might do very well with daily cocaine exposure. It is not a cookie cutter kind of response. I always advise aparents and bparents in your shoes -- if nothing can stop you from moving forward, then do. If all you think of is the roadblocks, then perhaps slow down or back away. My heart is with this baby, and you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sophie	This little boy has come into your life for a reason. I say keep praying, but ask god to help you along with the answer as soon as possible. Maybe it's your love that will get this baby through the most difficult time of his life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

5littlemonkeys	I would. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Bettyy	Well you have to figure out what would hurt more.. not taking the chances of having that baby in your life and it living? or passing away. Personally if you can cover medical bills, and if you already have fallen in-love with this baby i say why not.. babies need help to and you might be its only hope. Go and give it strength. Fight the sickness for it (or at least try) Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

BPD Wife	We were in a similar situation, although our son was 3 months old when we met him and not a newborn infant. Our son suffers from a life-threatening medical disorder. The bio family told us about the disorder before we met them or the child. We were terrified about the same things you are concerned with. But we finally realized (after a lot of praying) that no pregnancy is guaranteed to produce a healthy child. We could give birth to a biological child and that child could have the same medical issues or even worse. Would we love that child any less? No. Then why would we consider "not" adopting this child simply because he had a medical condition. For us, the choice made itself. God had a plan for us and this was that plan. We have been blessed that our son's disorder has not caused him any problems, but we know that every day is a blessing and that at any time things can change. But that is how life is in general. I could wake up tomorrow and be hit by a car. Only God knows what is in store for our family and I must place my faith in Him. Good luck to you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

distorted_sunshine	It all depends on whether you are willing to go through a possible loss to give that child as much love as you can. Do you feel this child could benefit from having loving parents at his bedside? Knowing your situation, even if you choose not to adopt, is there a policy at the hospital where you could still spend time with him? Even sick children benefit from having loving family at their bedside when they are sick, it could be the turning point for him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Cam	All I can think of is how sad I am for the child. If you don't adopt he could die without any family or anyone who cares. Somebody has to believe in the little guy and give him a chance. I know...easy for me to say, but those are my feelings. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Hello!	I think that you should adopt him because even if he didn't you should feel great that you loved him and cared for him through that. No matter what age you are, you always need someone loving there for you. And there is always a great possibilty that he will get through this alive and you will have missed out on getting a wonderful child! Best of luck for the baby boy! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

parental unit	It sounds to me like you already have a connection to this baby. Sick babies thrive on love and human contact. Make him yours. Go see him everyday, hold him close, give him your love. Yes, there is a chance you will lose him, but there is always that chance when you are a parent, adoptive or otherwise. Good luck and God bless! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jackie	I dont think you should be taking advice on major life decisions, like this, from Yahoo Answers. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dallas W	do it and if he dies at least you gave him a life and chance that no one else will Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

hi_im_alexa	i think you should adopt this baby, because if it doesnt make it at least he had parents that loved him alot til the end and forever! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Crucio	That is a tough choice. If the boy does live and you adopted him are you prepared to deal with the health and developmental issues that he might have as a result of his abuse in utero. On one point you could adopt him and just love him while he is with you perhaps he will teach you all something even if his time on this plant is short. It would be difficult if he died but they say God only gives us what we can handle. Even if we don’t know we can handle it God knows that we can. Sometime miracles can happen this little boy just may beat the odds. To feel your positive and loving energy even if you can only lightly touch his hand may give him motivation to fight and live. I will say a pray for Brian tonight. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No