Put baby up for adoption??

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kayteeal	I am not a supporter of abortion at all. Your baby has a heartbeat, and a soul and abortion is the same as murder. Dont believe the people who tell you its just a sac of stuff it doesnt matter it wasnt born yet. its the same as going into the hospital grabbing a baby and killing it. If you put it up for adoption, at least it'll be alive and you can do an open adoption so that the parents will send you pictures of the baby and let you know how its doing so you'll never have to wonder if its living a safe and happy life. Dont kill you're baby. Give it to someone who cant have one. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Doodlestuff	I can tell you that you will wonder the rest of your life. In addition, the suicide rate of birthmothers is 20% higher than the general population. Up to 1/3 of birthmoms remains depressed the rest of their lives (and I hear, but can't confirm, the same is true of adoptees). Had I to do it over again, I would have been less naive. Find out your options now because prior to 8 weeks, you can have a chemical abortion (pills) which is the least invasive procedure. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mscrawdad	This is something you should be discussing with your parents. They love you and will help guide you. At 16 if you decide to keep the baby, your life is no longer yours. It belongs to your baby. If you abort you will suffer grief and loss. If you choose adoption you will suffer grief and loss and worry about the child and their welfare. These are decisions that really could use support from those who love you to help you. Perhaps your family will have other options to give you, such as a family adoption. I wish you the very best and hope whatever decision you make you find peace with it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lavii V	It is rather sad to even consider abortion. It spells the end of a human life that is already growing. Personally, it would be a better choice to go through with the pregnancy and see how you feel in the end. Parenthood can help growth, but it is not meant for all people. If you find you can't properly take care of the child, or you still don't want the responsibility that comes with the child, place it up for adoption. It is better than death, and gives the child a chance to grow up and do something worth while. I understand the concern about what the child would be doing, and how the child would be fairing, when it is taken into another family. I suggest trying to find a way to keep in touch with the child, if the new parents find that reasonable. And now, all I have to say is that, if I was in your position as a pregnant adolescent, I would keep the pregnancy and I would give the child up if i was not ready to take care of it. In other words, I would do what I though best for the child. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

JUSTME	Would it be better for you to think how could I have killed my child for the rest of your life? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Meme	I admire anyone who would put their baby up for adoption. Think of how happy you would make someone out there who can't have kids! I'm betting it would be way hard, but worth it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sunny	You could spend the rest of your life wondering what happened to your child or you could spend the rest of your life knowing that you killed your child. My friend spent many years getting over the emotional trama of her abortions (she had several). She didn't think much about it when she was your age, but when she got older, it was a different story. When she held the one child that she did have, she thought of what her other children would have become. She was finally able to forgive herself, but she can't talk about it anymore. I know of someone else who had a child and then elected to abort the second. She now wonders how she could have aborted the second after loving the first child so much, and now regrets her choice. Also, many abortion clinics don't tell you that there are risks in having an abortion; and the more abortions that a woman has, the higher chance of future infertility and other complications. There was a film produced, I believe it was shown on NOVA a number of years ago. They showed an embryo or fetus (I can't remember which) and it actually struggled and tried to get away from the abortionist's actions. Chances are great that your child will be placed in a loving home, where he or she will receive all the necessities of life and a chance at a good education. If I were 10 years younger I would jump at the chance for another baby. Also, remember that prospective parents are very well screened by Social Services. That's no guarantee, but at least it's not somebody off the street or out of a newspaper ad. I grew up with siblings who were adopted. I'm in contact with the youngest. She is still trying to seek information on her biological father. She still loves her deceased adoptive parents, especially her father. She took care of her dying adoptive brother for years during his decline. She's happy that she was a part of the family but is curious about her biological father (her birth mother had already died when she found out about her, but was able to get information from the widower). Things are a little easier today for children to find their birth parents, though it still can be difficult. But regardless, my advice is to have the baby. If you give the baby up for adoption, at least you know you gave that child a chance at life, perhaps be President of the United States, another Einstein, a surgeon that would save many lives. If that baby dies, it will never have a chance to help make the world a better place find a cure for AIDS, cancer or some other life threatening disease, cure the common cold, to live or to bring love and joy to a whole new family. Your baby is a special, unique creation. I believe each soul has a purpose. Please give your baby a chance to fulfill it's purpose. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

martha p	i think if you are looking to put your baby up for adoption you should try open adoption so you can know how she or he is you know. cause what i can see that that is your biggest wories to know how the baby is doing so look for info here is a web side www.openadoptioninsight.org/what_is_open... - 15k Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.	Could you really live with youreslf if you KILLED the baby?? Trust me.. ALL the people I personally know who've had abortions are seriously guilt ridden and it damaged them emotionally for life.. (Not that they're messed up and can't function, but it's always there in the back of their mind..) You can set up an adoption in such a way that YOU Can select the birth parents.. Think about it.. it gives YOU the satisfaction of knowing you didn't kill the baby, and the chance to finish school, do whatever you want with your life it gives the baby a good home with two parents and possibly things you could not give it.. and it gives a childless couple the baby they long for (unless you are an infertile woman you canNOT imagine the tears shed and the longing).. Not that I'm posting adoption as superior to you keeping the baby, but I see it as a good option. You are young, but with the right support group you could keep the child.. if you do.. more power to you!! Please don't abort.. this is a human being who's heart has allready started beating.. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sam Brown	Although adoption is a beautiful thing, it is also very very hard and the emotion stress of your decision is never ending. I was adopted at 8 months of age, and at 16 years old I placed my baby girl for adoption. She lives out of state but I was lucky enough to find really great parents who send me pictures and videos all the time and never forget to tell me just how she's doing. You really need to weigh your options. Unfortunately depending on what state you live in you might not have a grace period (where you have a certain amount of days to get your baby back after signing away your rights). Therefore, once you put your name on those papers it's done and over with, and theres nothing you can do. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

TrollKiller	I am 22, gave a baby up for adoption at 16. I knew that I couldn't provide him the life he deserved, heck I couldn't even earn more than $8 an hour. Abortion was never an option in my mind. I don't think I could have lived with myself and that decision. I had my baby, kept him for the first 2 1/2 months to make sure I was making the right decision. I called every adoption agency in the phonebook. They all sent me packages that included information and pictures of couples that wanted to adopt. Most of them lived in other states. I wasn't real happy with the idea of a closed adoption, I would never know where he was or what kind of people his parents really were....Then I got in touch with Volunteers of America, their office was in metairie,la, I lived about two hours away. 2 ladies came to my house, explained how they work, what exactly open adoption was. They made me very comfortable. I picked a wonderful, amazing couple, Bridget and Rickey. My son went to live with them and that was the BEST decision I have EVER made. They couldn't have kids, they had another lil boy a year older than my son who was also adopted. So he had a brother close to his age, someone that he could talk to about being an adopted child if he needed to. He's 6 now, his parents call me and I call them on all major holidays and on his birthday. He knows that he is adopted, he calls bridget his mommy, but i'm his "birthday mommy". (oh, I'm trying not to cry). I named him gaven, they kept it. The first year after the adoption I kind of wanted him back, I was angry and hurt.....it took a while to deal with, just like the death of a loved one would. For a week or so I literally thought my heart might break, it hurt so bad. But time heals all wounds, and this world would not be the same without Gaven in it. He has 2 great parents who love him tons, a brother to play with, a "birthday mommy" and all the opportunities in the world because of the selfless decision I made. I highly recommend OPEN adoption to you. Any questions, mail me....mstamper08yahoo.com Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Rae44	You made your bed, sleep in it. It is unfair to KILL your baby because of selfish reasons, give it to someone who can't have a baby. Suggestion,,, now that you know what makes a baby STOP!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥Rosie45♥	Adoption would be a wonderful option. Most couples looking to adopt are carefully screened, so the chance the baby would go to a bad home are very low. Plus, when he/she is born, you can always let the nurses know you don't want to see her.....many times they will take her straight away if it is known she will be adopted. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

furfur	Holly, my heart really goes out to you. This is such a tough decision that you have to make...is there anyone who can help you; a parent, older & wiser family member who has your best interests at heart, or even a guidance counselor? The only perspective I will offer you is this...abortion is final. You can never go back and reverse it. Adoptions can be open, meaning that you can request contact with the adoptive family so you won't be wondering. As your child becomes an adult, there can be reunion. Good luck to you and your child. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Pretty Wife	dont put ur baby into adoption, he's a blessing to you from our GOD..many couples like us wanted to have a child but we do not have any, this is ur luck, dont give it away... u may have problems now, but soon, it will all gone..u will not have problems that u cant solve..just trust GOD.. i know its hard for u, but u can ask forgiveness to ur parents n live ur life like a mature one, if ur bf do not ask to marry or support, then its ok, do not worry, GOD has plans for u n ur baby... u have sinned bfore when u had premarital sex, dont waste ur time entertaining the sin again if u put away ur child for adoption... u take care of him, evrything will b under control by GOD..have faith! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

vmarie84	I don't support abortion, but remember adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I also hope that next time you will think long and hard before you decide to have sex. You're only 16. The only thing you should be concerned about at that age is what college to go to and what to wear to your prom. Please be more careful. The reality is that AIDS and STD's are out there. Next time you may not get a baby. I hate to sound harsh, but it's true. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Elizabeth	Unless you have a really good support system to help you raise a child, you should definitely have an abortion. Don't listen to the pro-liar twits. People who say abortion is "murder" are hysterical and intrusive busybodies. The reality is that abortion is a medical procedure that is NO one's business but yours and your doctor. It is your choice, and your right to do what you wish with your own body. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

susanlpn2004	When i found out i was pregnant with my third child, I was 28, full time in school, and recently split up with my husband for awhile. I told only a few close friends and told myself i was going to give it up for adoption. I did that for the first 5 months. Finally, i guess i came to terms with being pregnant again... and i kept him... that was 3 years ago and i don't regret it at all. Now, it is hard at any time in your life to find out you are pregnant, especially when it is not planned. You say you are worried about giving it away? What are you going to feel like after an abortion? Most women say they wonder for a long time after if it was a boy or girl or what it would have been like if they would have carried it. Either way you decide will be a heart wrenching experience. But, at least with adoption You can control what kind of adoption: open or non-open, to know the child or not. to see him/her grow or have no part till they want to know you.... I suggest that you talk to your parents... be open and up front as this must not be a decision to make on your own.. if u absolutely cannot talk to them i suggest finding a family planning clinic as they have counselors who deal with these things a lot. I went through the same thing at 17. My parents were mad at first, but they supported me and i had my daughter right after my 18th birthday..... she is 12 now. It was the right choice for me... and yes, i had to put things off like college but i went back and am now currently going for my RN. It will all be ok.... just don't make any rash decisions. Learn all you can, learn your options and choose what is right for you... u have until at least 12 weeks pregnant in most states for abortion....till the day it is born for adoption.. and the rest of your life if you keep it... email me if you need anything and let me know what u decide!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Wilma Duckie Deene	First off, I am pro-adoption and pro-life. (So flag me everyone who wants to.) Talk to a lot of people. Get support and lots of it. This is probably the first time in your life that your decision of what to do is so far reaching and so important. Look at: www.itsaboutlove.org There are people there to help you. It is hard to place a baby for adoption. Abortion is hard. Keeping a baby and raising it yourself is hard. You face hard decisions. Make the one that will give you peace at night for the rest of your life. You will have pain. Life is pain. No matter your decision, you will have wonders and questions, and painful times ahead. A pregnancy and introduction of a child into your life, this has given you the need to make a decision that as you are learning is hard and painful. Seek advice from people you trust. (Your peers are probably not the right ones to look to here, seek knowledge, wisdom and experience.) As an adoptive mom who struggled with the knowledge that the same time our lives were filled with joy, there was a young woman who was feeling pain, we were wisely counselled that if the birth mother of our child saw how happy we were, her pain would heal faster. My sister had a baby at 17, and raised her. In retrospect, she should have placed her in a loving adoptive home. It would have made their lives so much better. Please check out that website and get some advice. No one will judge you, no one will turn you away. There are people who want to help you make the decisions that you will live with for the rest of your life. And their help is free. Yep, FREE. Good luck with your choices. Gracious knows, I know so many families would love to adopt your child, because we want your baby to live to see the flowers and butterflies. But, that is not what this forum is about. Please think very very carefully about your choices. Talk to people with experience who have had an abortion - preferably those who have had abortions 5, 10, 15 years ago. Talk to adult adoptees, go to the counselling center nearest you and talk to birth mom's. Find your peace. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Emme	You have a really tough decision ahead of you, I don't envy you at all. You have to try and think about what you can handle, what you can live with. If you've never really thought about abortion, what it is and what it means, and never really had an opinion of your own until now, try and sort out how you feel about it without having too many people tell you what they think. If you can, talk to someone who has handled adoptions, or go on line and do some research. From what I understand, the process to adopt isn't easy. There's home visits and background checks and looking at their finances, etc, so the candidates have to be really committed to adopting. You have to ask an expert but I think you can have a say in who adopts your baby, so you can have a bit of piece of mind. Either way, you'll always wonder if your decision was the right one, but for now you have to decide which option will be the one you can live with best, the one that will feel to you that you did the right thing. Good Luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jessica300	I've never had an abortion, so can't tell you anything about the feelings you may have after this. I did lose my son to adoption many years ago and will tell you that I DO NOT recommend it. You need to be FULLY informed before you make a decision. Remember, if you do choose to place your child, your baby may end up with adoptive parents who think and talk and feel like this previous poster: "SO HERE IS MY COMPLAINT: IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE THIS CHOICE CLOSE YOUR FREAKING LEGS AND THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY. RAPE IS ONE THING, BUT CHOOSING TO IS ANOTHER. I AM SO TIRED OF THESE BABIES MAKING BABIES, WHEN THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DESERVE KIDS WHO NEVER GET THAT CHANCE!" Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sarah	I had a baby that I gave up for adoption 7 years ago. I was 20 and still did not consider myself ready to be a parent. A few, but not many, would ever be ready to be a parent at 16. I consider abortion murder, and although that is what others around me urged me to consider, I never would. If you'd like to talk about adoption and what I've gone through, PLEASE feel free to email me. I've had a positive experience. We have an open adoption. Again, let me know anytime if you'd like to talk. Good luck hon. {{{{{HUG}}}}} Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

robin c	I think Sunny had a very good answer!! I feel the same way as Sunny, I just can't write it down as eloquently! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Laurel J	Nobody can make this choice for you, but it should be an informed choice. The idea that every woman regrets her abortion and/or has emotional problems that spring from it is a myth (source below). If you decide to carry to term and relinquish the child, you could opt for open adoption, which would keep you informed about him or her through his or her childhood--theoretically, anyway, as open adoptions are not legally enforcable contracts. Or you could keep the baby. But the best way to be sure you'll regret whatever you do is to let someone else tell you what to do. I hope your family, friends, and partner will support you in whatever choice you make. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sarah	ok, but you still have to think if you have an abortion will you be wondering the rest of your life if it was the right thing to do? either way you will live with this decision for the rest of your life it just depends which one you can live with more- killing the child and knowing that it will never go to a family that will bring it up incorrectly or giving it up for adoption and knowing that at least you are doing the best thing for the child and not killing it. it just depends on what you can sleep with at night. also have you concered keeping the child yourself? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

melissa	I am an attorney and handle adoptions, it is a very hard choice to make, yes you will always wonder about your child, yes it is hard to give up a child after carrying it for 9 months, but there are also very good reasons, ususally parents who are hoping and praying to adopt have to pass many qualifications in order to adopt, every adoption I have handled the birth mother has went thru with the adoption and I have talked to several years later who said it was their best choice. You have many decisions to make, stay healthy, talk to your parents, an attorney, a church member, good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather B	People will try and guilty you into placing your baby for adoption, usually because they have their own agenda Follow your own heart and consider ALL your options and make a fully informed decision, nobody can make that decision for you but don't be led into anything that feels wrong to you, trust your gut feelings Take care Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lollypop	Keep the baby if you have the support of your mom or dad. She or he will be your flesh and blood and you will love them more than ever. You might be a young mom but in the olden days lots of babies were born to 16 year olds. There is nothing wrong with having a baby at this age. Screw society and what they think about education. Your whole life is ahead of you and you will have alot of time to get a career. So maybe I should mind my own business but how will you feel always wondering who that baby is if you put it up for adoption. All you need is love for a child and with that you will have to do what you need to do to look after it. Besides that...if you really don't want it...I'd opt for an abortion. I'm sorry that you are going through this. At the end of the day, do what is best for YOU. Good luck Hon. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

blondie	i went through the same thing...i didnt think i would be able to carry a baby for 9 months and then just give it up so to me the choice was either to keep the baby completely or just end the pregnancy, as sad and as hard as that was. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lillie	Whatever you decide, just make sure you are making your decision on what is best for YOU, and not what is best for some infertile strangers. Remember, you are NOT RESPONSIBLE for fulfilling anyone else's parenting dreams by relinquishing your baby. This decision should not have anything to do with anybody else's situation but your OWN. Got it? Tons of people (including right here!) will tell you how wonderful you are for giving up your baby to some deserving couple who can't have a child of their own, but that is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. YOUR RESPONSIBILITY is to figure out if you can parent your child, whether it be alone, with help from the child's father, your family, his family, etc.; or if you can't. Other people's parenting dreams have nothing to do with this decision. That comes into play ONLY AND IF you decide to place. I've lived my entire life not having my mother, my father, my siblings, my entire family in my life due to adoption. My mother gave me up because she was single and young; 6 months later she was married and regretted it every single day for the rest of her life. So please make this decision based on you and you only. (And the father...please don't leave him in the dark, he has rights too). Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

concerned	Hi Holly, I have never had an abortion, so I can't speak to that... there are others who can do so much more eloquently. However, I've relinquished a child for adoption, and I've also raised (am raising) a child. And there is so much I wish I could tell you about that. But... these little answer boxes aren't the ideal place to delve into it. So instead, I'm going to offer this link: http://paragraphein.wordpress.com/2007/12/19/for-april/ This is a letter I wrote for another young expectant mom in your position. It expresses what I'd say to you here, anyway, so it's easier to just give you the link. (Warning: don't read the comments. They are just a firestorm that had been brewing on my blog for a while, and probably won't make sense to you at all. Although... if you DO read the comments... you might want to consider that relinquishing a child leaves you open to some pretty harsh judgments and crappy commentary. It's kind of par for the course.) (((((Hugs)))) You are so early in your pregnancy. Take your time with this. The first decision you need to make is whether you are morally comfortable with abortion, and decide whether to stay pregnant or terminate. If you find yourself unable or not wanting to have an abortion, then give yourself some space regarding the decision whether to relinquish or parent--you are early in your pregnancy and have plenty of time to decide. S'more (((hugs))). Hang in there. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No