Pregnant and wanting to put the baby up for adoption. Does the dad have to know?

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jesse	no you do not have to trell him i am goingthrough the same thing and i am not telling the father Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Judith C	diana,my friend is a lawyer and I want to adop a baby so she explain all this to my,she dont have to tell him they are not together.shes the mother and she is doing something nice,she looks like she really love her baby giving the baby and adoption and not a abortion,I wish your sister a good look. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tmt0568	You will need to confirm this with a lawyer, but I believe that in Utah, the birthmother does NOT have to disclose the identity of the birthfather or notify him. Utah has some of the harshest adoption laws. There are currently some court cases (I believe still ongoing) where the birthfather is challenging the Utah laws. If you check the internet, it is not too difficult to find the cases. Good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jessica C	At the moment the father has to be notified but the law changes at the beginning of the year and the adoption agency is not required to notify the father. Im not sure if this federal or just for the state of Texas. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Like Glue	He should know. She should control what happens. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

beaut	My husband just adopted my son and his 'bio' father had nothing to do with him no name on birth cert nothing no maintenance, but he still had a say in weather my husband adopted him or not,he said yes of course but if he had said no it would have been fought in court and the social worker said he'd lose as hes never seen my son, why doesnt she ring an adoption agency and find out exactly what happens in her circumstances she doesnt have to give personal details about herself at least then she will know what to do for the best, if the social services see thats shes doing it for a good reason and the father is a 'dead beat' they will also do what is best for the child, good luck x I really admire her for doing what she is doing plenty of people would have aborted the child rather then giving it a chance x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Stitch M	Generally I sympathise with your sister not wanting to tell the dead beat jerk that got her pregnant that she is giving up the baby for adoption. I also understand her not wanting to contact him, sometimes it's just best not to. However, it is his kid. Therefore, she should probably tell him what she plans in some way. I'd suggest she write him a letter and send it via post. That way she doesn't have to talk to him. In the letter, she should make absolutely clear that she is intending to put the baby up for adoption, and that nothing he can say will prevent that. Also, in order to make an effort to make sure he can't undo the adoption, she needs to avoid putting his name on the birth certificate. Although she will not be raising the child, it will be HER name on the certificate and not those of the adoptive parents. The only reason I say that she should tell the father is to avoid nasty surprises in the future. No, he won't want anything to do with the child, but, it is a nasty thing to get 20 or 30 years down the road and find out that he fathered a child. If she at least notifies him, then she cannot be blamed for willfully decieving him at a later date. If he doesn't respond so be it, but after sending it, she can wash her hands of it and go on with her life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

meghananne23	Before telling the father, please contact an atty! There are some states where they will not ask. ((HUGS)) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Colleen O	If she doesn't put him on the birth certificate he doesn't have to know. If he finds out he CAN take the adoptive couple to court and have the adoption declared null and void . Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cowboy_fan	YES. I am in the process of adopting my son right now. My son's birth mother was not forthcoming on how to locate the birth father and it is wreaking havoc in our adoption process. She gave our adoption agency the wrong last name so when they tried to locate him they couldn't. His rights were terminated due to the inability to find him and lack of interest in her pregnancy. We were scheduled to formally adopt him in two weeks. My birth mother finally told the adoption agency his correct last name because people were threatening to tel the birth father. Now we have to start all over again with geting his rights terminated. Fortunately for us, he is still a dead beat and is avoiding being served the termination papers because he thinks it's another person trying to get child support from him (he owes child support to multiple women). Unfortunately, this has caused our formal adoption hearing to get pushed back. It's better to get everything out in the beginning. Don't listen to people who say just to act like you don't know who the father is. The birth father can still find out through other people and then he can petition for a DNA test and the court has to grant it. Wouldn't that be awful for the adoptive couple to have to go through that? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Crucio	Yes you must have both biological parents sign their rights away. Otherwise the Bio father could certainly overturn an adoption, even years later. This would be devastating to the people who adopted the child and the child as well. To be ripped away from the only parent’s and family he or she has know and be given to a complete stranger. If he is truly a dead beat the courts may see it in the childs best interest not to reside with this man and they will terminate his parental rights. First they would probably give him a chance to get his life together. For all you know he may not even want the child and would be willing to sign his rights away. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

amyburt40	This is a resounding yes. She must give him opportunity as well to raise his child. It is the law. For her to even think that, it is illegal, morally and ethical wrong. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mom	if she says she does not know who the dad is & there is no way 2 contact him then she can give it up, she can also leave it with the hospital or a drop house no questions asked & they will find it a home. if she tells them how 2 contact him then he will have the choice 2 keep the baby & get child support from her or sign his rights away & give it up. good luck.. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tsunami	the thing is does she have his name on the papers when she was born? if he isn't named the dad then you can do what you want. if you dont' you are ok but if you do have name on it i think you will have to have him sign it but ask a lawyer first and then get moving. alot of people would lot to adopt. take care. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LC	If she knows his information, she is legally required to inform him. If she doesn't, it is falsifying a legal document. If he is truly the deadbeat that you say he is, then he will probably be more than willing to sign away his rights, and the responsibility for child support. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

BABYGIRL0802	In reading the "answers" to this question asked, I realized what IS WRONG with the adoption system. Many of the views here to falsify information on this child's birthfather is just plain wrong. These answers that I am referring to are EXACTLY WHY THE ADOPTION SYSTEM IS UNDER SUCH SCRUTANY. Deadbeat or not, dad must know and legally terminate his rights. Perhaps your sister should think of what this child will feel like in 20 years, when he/she finds out. Again, these secrets and lies are the very reasons many adoptees are in emotional struggles today. The child should be number one on her mind. What is right for the child years later down the road. Not what is easier for her to do now. It's no longer about her, it's about the child. It's just that simple. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

wife2denizmoi	If the baby has not been born yet and she does not put him on the birth certificate as the father, then I don't see how he could find out. Unless of course they have mutual friends or he has family in the area. Still, it would seem right to let him know. Its a tough decision, one that has to come from the heart. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

luckyarborlane	Dont put the baby up for adoption email me and we can talk I want kids and can not have them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Animallover	Yes I think he should know. After all, he was there for the conception. He should have equal say as to what happens to his child. He should be given a chance to maybe even adopt the child himself if he wanted to keep it and the mother doesn't. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Amy B	Utah is supposed to have the best adoption laws of any state in the US. If she contacts and agency, a caseworker will advise her as to the laws that apply. Birth fathers have rights as well, however unfortunate that may be. Birth fathers can try to block adoptions, but ultimately that will probably be up to a judge. Honestly, only 2% of birthfathers actually follow through with any threats to block adoptions. It may be that as long as he doesn't register with a paternal registry that he won't have any rights and your sister could place the baby for adoption. Have her contact an agency. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

CrazyTrain	That is the right thing to do. If not, it could cause problems later if he does find out. That would be incredibly selfish of her not to tell him....and kind of makes her a "dead beat" as well. If he is a so called dead-beat, then I am sure he will have no problem signing over his rights. Everyone deserves to know if they have a child out there that is theirs. Maybe he has family that would like to take in the baby. To not give the baby a chance to grow up with and know their "birth" family is just wrong. If he decided to not have anything to do with the child and so does his family...then that is on them and at least your sister tried...But to not give any chance at all is not right and will come back and bite her in the butt later on. Tell your sister to do the right thing! Dead beat or not...he at least as the right to know he fathered a baby! Good Luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

momofone	Yes dad should be informed, lets face ithe has a right to know and therefore decide what he wants for his child (deadbeat or not). He may want to parent. I am not sure about Utah law, but in IL there was a case "Baby Richard" who was placed for adoption by his mother at birth. The media showed this child get transferred from the only mom and dad he knew to the parents he knew nothing about. Watching this child scream and cry and not let go of his mother was gut wrenching. Long story short...the birthparents (now his only parents) end up getting divorced and mom has custody. As aresult of this adoption....laws became stricter in IL and less room for error (well you need a legitimate lawyer too). I would let dad know so he can participate in the decision making and if it is adoption you all chose then it can be done correctly so that there is no risk for disrupting the childs life. You need to do what is in the best interest of the child (short term and long term). Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mamulechka	Of course he must know. Imagine telling him or the child this in eighteen year's time. Think about them, not just your sista. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

I luv Pets: Diya is BORN!	yes without consent he can throw a wrench into the mix. Also its best to tell him and have him decide. If he is a dead beat, and can not provide for the child then I suggest this. Tell him about the pregnancy, tell him if he doesnt want the adoption then he will have to pay child support and take him to court. Dead beats dont want to pay, and they wont. IF IF IF the baby is born and he does not sign a Rights of Parentage, and she puts UNKNOWN on the birth certificate, then he would have to go through a TON of court and medical proceedure that are expensive and time comsuming in order to stop an adoption or reverse. I doubt he'd go through the troubles. Also talk to a lawyer for advise on this, dont take a strangers word for it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Adoptionissadnsick	Guess your sister will just have to pretend she doesn't even KNOW who knocked her up- what name does that make your sister? . Call him a deadbeat, but he must have had something going for him. The poor child that has been created by this union is not a stray pet that now deserves "a good home" Seems your sister is also a deadbeat for bringing forth a life she plans to abandon. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Felicita1	Dad might be a deadbeat right now, BUT many fathers change their tunes completely the moment they hold their infants in their arms. I don't think she should write him off. I know fathers for whom fatherhood was the wake-up call and they got a job, offered to marry the mother, and worked 110% to support their new family. Besides the father, there are grandparents on that side of the family as well who could be traumatized to find out they have lost a grandchild. A chld is part of a family, on both maternal and paternal sides. The loss of a child to adoption is just as severe in pain as the loss of a child to death. Your sister should think about that. She may never recover from the pain and loss, and the rest of the family may not either. 50% or mothers suffer unresolved grief that only increases over years and decades. counselling does not help. she should not believe the agencies that make tens of thousands of dollars off each adoption. she should tell the father, AND his family, about his child and their grandchild. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sun_beam61	Yes, the dad (altho' dead beat) has to be able to sign his rights away as well. You must include him in this plan. Him being a dead beat will probably not have anything to do with this and sign off right away..and so you can proceed with the adoption of your child. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Peace Yo	Legally and ethically an earnest attempt to notify the father of this child has to be made by your sister or someone on her behalf. This man has a child on the way and he deserves to know. He deserve the chance to make a decision just like the mother. If he is not contacted or an earnest attempt to contact him is not made yes it can cause many problems for the mother, child and potential adoptive parents. If he truly is a dead beat then I doubt he will want anything to do with this child and will allow the mother to proceed with an adoption plan. Just protect everyone and do what is legally necessary. If you don't he may find out at a late date and he has every right to halt that adoption. He needs time to consider his options and prepare. What if he's not a dead beat? He might choose to raise the child and surprise you that he is a wonderful father even if he is lacking in other areas. Your sister, in the end, might prefer having her child raised by the biological father instead of having him or her raised by strangers who will not allow her contact or updates about the child's life. She needs to start to research the experiences of mothers who have relinquished children now so she can absorb as much information as possible. There is a lot of information out there on the www about relinquishment, father's rights and what could go wrong if things are not done ethically and legally. Tricking him out of his parental rights may backfire on her and everyone else involved in a possible adoption plan. Just research and read about those who have been there, done that. Don't be afraid to read about the dark side of adoption as well as the happier experiences. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Possum	Yes - it is the right thing to do to tell him. Also - the child should have the right to know - even just in name - who his/her mother is. (and should also be allowed to know his father if at all possible - not just in name) As an adoptee - I didn't find out until in my late 30's who my original parents were. And even then - my birth certificate (I'm lucky - I'm Australian - and we're allowed to get copies of our original birth certificates - where as in the USA most states do not allow this) - stated "Father Unknown". I finally - just this year - found out who my biological father is - but only because I was able to track down my mother. It hurts like hell not to be allowed this information as an adoptee. We all are the product of two people - genetically. It should not be kept from the child who those two people are. Just because you think the father is a 'dead-beat' - does not justify not allowing the child to know who he/she is biologically linked to. It also does not justify keeping the information from the father. It is his right to know. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ryan's mom	YES. To legally put a baby up for adoption the dad has to sign away his rights also. If she does not contact him and he finds out later on he could cause problems for the adoptive parents. There have been cases in the news where the dad found out when the child was 3 years-old and fought to have the adoption reversed and won! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

R J	It is unfair that anyone would deny a father his parental rights, much less not being honest with the child about its parents. And if the guy is such a deadbeat why was she screwing him anyway? But the fact that she is willing to carry the pregnancy to term shows that she is a truly good person who, when faced with a tough choice, chose life and not murder. And the choice to be so selfless as to offer such a gift to another family is amazing. That is true love and really shows one's character. A father really does have rights and he needs to give his consent. It is only fair to the child. How would you feel if you were adopted, and your mother lied about knowing the identity of your father. When you wre old enough to realize and appreciate the gift she gave you, it would be clouded by her denying you your true identity. If the guy is ajerk then he'll probably be glad to get rid of the child anyways, either that or he'll never win custody if he is such a loser. Good luck to her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No