Home | Links | Contact Us | Bookmark
Legal Forum Search :
   Homepage      News     Legal Directories      Legal Forum      Dictionary  
Legal Forum    Child Adoption
Legal Discussion Forum

 Does it bother you when adoptive parents say this?
they'll say "oh you look just like i did when i was your age" or just about anything that suggests that you have the same qualities. it really annoys me because in reality we can'...


 Unsure about how I feel about my daughter - thinking about adopting her out?
My daughter is now 16 months old, and I've always made sure that I've given her the best clothes, care, food etc, that I could give her, but I am unsure about how I feel about her.

...


 Is it ok to totally rename a 9 year old who is going through a stepparent adoption?
My husband is adopting my 9 year old. He wants to change my sons whole name. He wants to change it because he has his biological fathers name who is not in the picture at all. I think its ...


 What do you think of "adoption day" celebrations?
I didn't know until recently that it's become a trend to celebrate "adoption day", or "gotcha day". What do you think about celebrating the day someone was adopted?...


 I am adopted?
Im kind of scared to go look for my parents because Im scared of the reason that I was put up for adoption what should I do should I still go and look for them and how should I take it if I go so I ...


 How would you feel if i just knocked on your door?? "Hi, I found you!!"?
I have been searching for my fathers birth family (my father passed away), and with the help of another YA user (thanks laurie!!) i have a address for my dads brother (they were placed together in ...


 My wife and i are pondering the idea of giving our fourth child up for adoption, any ideas what to ask for?
Never having done this before we have no clue what to ask, and what to ask for and what to do. any advice will really help. ...


 At what age is a single woman no longer "too young" to be a mother?
My Grandmother was 15 when my Aunt was born. That Aunt was 15 when she married my Uncle and gave birth to my cousin. When I graduated from HS, many of the girls got married right after graduation ...


 Should I just get an abortion since I am hearing about how horrible adoption is?
I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant and I don't want a kid for multiple reasons (no money or job and in college, unsupportive parents and boyfriend, and I have avoidant personality disorder so ...


 Im a 13 year old girl and im pregnant my parents want me to give the baby up for adoption,What should i do?
Im a 13 year old who is 5 months pregnant and my parents want me to give the baby up for adoption but i dont want to so i have no idea wat to do....


 I Dont Want to give my baby up for adoption but the mom dose?
Ok well my x girlfriend if 7 month pregnet and she dosent know what to do but im hoping that she keeps it and dosent put it up for adoption.I mean shes 16 and i just turned 18 and i know its alot of ...


 Why are people so rude?
Okay, so I have an adopted sister from China. Why are these people so rude??? They ask things like did you adopt her? How much did she cost? She's 6 so she understands these things. Why are ...


 Can an unadopted person ever "understand" what it feels like to be adopted?
...


 Birth mother is trying to turn over adoption what should we do?
My mother was going to adopt a baby girl from a twenty three year old women. The baby had not been born when this was decided. In the hospital, the birth mom decided she wanted to keep the baby after ...


 Should i bother?
i was adopted when i was 6 weeks old(i'm now 24) but recently had to contact the place i was adopted from for my medical history, i told them i didn't want my bio mother knowing anything ...


 How / when will the pain stop?
as a first mom i just feel so incredibly overwhelmed with all that happened, even years later. i just can't stop the pain of it all. i've tried to think positive about it. i tried to ...


 Is it possible to give back our adopted baby?
My wife and I recently adopted a child. However now that we have her home it's obvious she is much different that us. We want what's best for our child, but live in a very affluent ...


 If you were pregnant?
If you were 15 or 16 and you were pregnant, what would you do?

Would you keep it, abort it, or put it up for adoption?
Additional Details
Why should I remove this question?...


 How can I find a solution to my adopted child? She is a nightmare I've spent my life saving on I need her out.
I don't know where to go...I can't afford to send her to a camp or a home, but I can't live with her any longer. Is there any way to recover lost funds, and find a home for her? Anyone ...


 I'm thinking about giving my kids up for adoption!?
I no ur tinkin wat a stupid Q.But dats wat been going thru my mind daily.Trust me,I'd never thought I would have this thinking about my kids either.It didn't happen until I had them.They ...



Ok, this question is purely out of curiosity - no offense intended?
Is it moral for a couple to adopt a child, raise it for a few months and then return it back to the center because one of the parents was not able to get along with the child well?



Show all answers
Post your answer

Adoptionissadnsick
Rating
that's a toss up, maybe it will save the kid from idiot ap's.

What does morality have to do with adoption anyway?

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Torrejon
Human beings do not come with guarantees, exchange policies, nor warranties. If you commit to a child, it has to be forever.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



ashleynicole.hilton
Rating
sound like you didnt try hard enought, it not a toy you can play with and chuck away when it gets difficult. horrid person

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Muthu S
I felt crazy that I may be offender if I answer this question.
Separate your PSYCHOLOGICAL perceptions from you, youwill know how you are fighting with YOURSELF.Your conscience will help you to get along with your self & the cute, loved adopted baby and the whole world.
Getting along with others begins at HOME..

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Julia
Rating
I personally think they should have given it more time. I believe most states have a waiting period before you can legally adopt. This is in place for these situations. They want to make sure it's going to work out for the child and parent.
I'm not sure it's a question of morality. Maybe this was best for the child in the long run.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Just Me
Sounds like it's a car or pet. These days you can't even return a vehicle without paying huge penalties. It sounds uncaring to the child to adopt him and return him to the center. Some people are so immature. I just don't understand something like that.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



what???
Rating
i don't think it is right to do that.alot of things could be worked out by therapy or just talking to the child.try and find out if something is bothering the child if the child is being difficult.maybe you all could come to a better place by trying something different.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



senthil r
IBefore adopting, ts better if the couple get used t the child staying in the orphanage or where the child live, check the compatibility of every one and then adopt. Prevention is always better than cure!!!

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



bugwales
Rating
that is so wong as that child has already been rejected by bio parents,imagine what it would be like to be rejected twice,the poor child would be messed up by the first rejection,the second rejection would be awful for the child,you have to work at parenthood,a child is a human being you carnt just toss it out cos you dont get on with that child,you have to work at it.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



SOS MV
Rating
If the case is that the child could be harmed then I think that is a better than something happening however if its because its not what you expected than that is horrible. you should have thought but that before.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



steve a
Rating
Well if they commit them self to adopt a child , than they have to face the problem and try to solve try to solve the problem, if they send back the child to the center , which is means they are not a maturate people , as woman being there is lot of problem in our daily life and we have to face the problem in challenging way ; once we adopt any kids make sure we can give them the best if we can't better don't adopt

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Heather B
No. But people do it all the time.

Try to think what that does to a child.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



sunny
Rating
No, it's not moral.

But it is yet another example where the adoptive parents have all the good cards in the game.

Have you EVER heard of a case of an adoptee getting out should they feel things are not working out? Of course not! Adoptees have to suffer with whatever the adoption 'professionals' decide is right for them.

Once again;

Adoptive parents 1

Adopted children 0

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



a healing adoptee
Rating
No, it's not!!!Most people who adopt would not even think of doing this. But unfortunately there are few like this couple that should not be allowed to adopt. Some how they aced the home study and all the questions poised to them from the adoption agency, to be able to adopt. What really gets me is that people like this dutch couple make adoption look bad and cast a bad light on all adoptive parents. Which is really sad because most adoptive parents adopt for the right reasons.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



bestadvicechick
Adoption is a big decision and not one that should be taken lightly. You're agreeing to raise a child....not purchasing the latest hand bag.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Joy M
I agree with Spidermomma, she made a lot of good points.


I don't know if moral is the term I would use, but I would rather have people return adopted children than abuse them as sometimes happens, sometimes the reality just doesn't line up to the expectation, people should go through more screening before they adopt.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Laurel J
Certainly not.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



bob s
Rating
im not old enough to even getting married yet and kids are nowhere in my near future,but i would say no.If you have a problem with the kid you should work it out

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



❀Bugsey❀
that would be horrible. when you adopt you are a PARENT and a PARENT should put their child before them.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



tiff
I would say that is completely immoral. I am not experienced in this field but as a mother would imaging the bond between adoptive parents and child may take a long time to establish, Some parents of "natural" children find it hard to establish this bond but where would we return our children to?

I would also hope that anyone who were to return children in this way would not be allowed to adopt again as they do not have the right temperament to be parents.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



liz
Rating
OK when you give birth to a child and take it home and after a few months of crying and changing diapers you figure it's too much. Is it moral to take it back to the hospital? That is almost the same thing. Children are not easy be it your blood or not. But what kind of parent would return their child for any reason. That is what parenting is not getting along? Wait till their teenagers. Than you want to strangle them. Jk but you get the picture. Of course it is in moral and may I add cruel adding insult to injury. A child that has already been rejected by its natural parent that is Sad.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Gershom
if this is happening to you, then you already know the answer for even having to ask someone else.

no thats not moral, ethical or right in any way.

We're not merchandise that can be returned if it doesn't perform the way you want.

grrrrrrr.....

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



kidmindi
Rating
Personally, I feel this would be wrong. Children are not like a shirt you get at wal-mart to be returned if it dosen't "feel right"

If a couple is considering adopting a child, especially one that owuld be old enough to "not get along with"; they need to be absolutley 100% SURE they can commit to this child. If BOTH paretns are not 100% sure then they do not need to adopt.

What happens if a couple gives birth to a child and then one parent "can't get along" with it? You don't consider calling up an adoption agency and putting that child up for adoption. The same should be true for a child you adopt.

JMHO

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



spydermomma
Rating
That would be a horrible, awful situation. The child would likely be badly scarred by that, and children who have been adopted already have had one loss, that of their first family, so adding another loss of a family would make it that much more likely that the child (and later the adult), would have a very hard time forming healthy attachments to others. A good life for this child might take years of incredible therapy along with incredible adoptive parents willing to go through the tough stuff -- and even then I would expect scars.

But, well, as awful as it would be, imagine how much worse it would be for the child to be kept in that family where they were clearly not wanted. That is a recipe for certain disaster, and much more likely to result in long term suffering for the child. Imagine spending your whole time growing up knowing that your family had tried to "return" you.

The only moral way to resolve this is if it had not happened in the first place. Adoptive parents (at least in the USA) need much more intense scrutiny before they are allowed to adopt. There should be psychological testing, intensive training on issues faced by adopted children and adoptive families, counseling about infertility or desires to rescue a child, and on and on. In the majority of cases this does not occur now in the US, though through the foster care system it can be quite a bit better.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Andraya
Kinda like test driving a car or enrolling in a trial at a gym before signing the membership forms... except here we are dealing with a child. Even some bio kids do not mesh well with their families, are they "given back"?

In my opinion there is nothing moral about this.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



tinker5547
yes i believe it to be very wrong .. children weather adopted or not do not come with gift receipt's

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



spmmy2003
No that is not moral. That child is a human being. Your going to tell this child that you are going to thier parents, then reject this child because you don't get along? If that thought even crosses your mind, then you are not even ready to be a parent by any means, adoption or naturally.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Jody
NOOOO. A kid is not like a new car, you can't just take it back.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



ehrlich
Rating
No, thats ridiculous, everyone at some point in their life doesnt get a long with their child well. Especially during their rebellious phase or teen years. A child is not a dog, a person should never just return it when they just dont want it anymore. I also don't know how anyone could possibly think they completely know a kid with only being with them for a few months, thats not even trying to make it work. I would say morally thats wrong and that the person is a quitter.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



Beth S
Rating
No, no it is not. If you have a personality conflict with your biological child do you shove it back into your uterus?!

Adoption, like all parenthood, should not be entered into lightly as it is a lifetime commitment.

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No



julie j
Rating
Hi Crazytamil,

I'm assuming you do not mean to offend so I'll answer your question.

When a child is placed with a family, there has already been some screening done to hopefully make a proper match that will meet the child's needs to begin with. But the adoption is not final yet. There is a minimum waiting time of 6 months of the child living with the new family before they can go to court and have that adoption finalized by a judge.

No, it is not moral to purposely disrupt an adoption, as the child has already sufferred one major loss in his/her young life. Adoption is meant to be permanent and couples seeking to adopt are aware of that. Their goal is almost always to have a permanent new member added to their family. Although disruption does happen, it is not good for the child. However, that being said, if one of the parents truly feels they are not equipped for whatever reason to meet the needs of the child, despite taking advantage of help and services offered, then yes, it would be in the child's best interests to find another home where the child will be nurtured and loved by both parents. Better that than to be abused in that home.

If that did happen & I were the social worker with that case, I would think long & hard before considering placement for another child in that home.

Thank you for asking. Hope that answered your question.

julie j
reunited adoptee

Was this answer helpful to you?  Yes  /  No






Archive: Forum - Forum - Links - Links1 - Links2 - RSS - All RSS Feeds
Trusted legal information for you. 0.084
Copyright (c) 2007-2010 Find Legal Advice Monday, May 21, 2012 - All rights reserved - Terms of use - Privacy Policy