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 Just out of curiosity??
When a child is adopted, do their "new" parents choose a name for him/her or do they have a name from before that they keep?

Thanx!
Additional Details
"they&...


 What Will It Be Like Please Help! Important!?
I am working on adopting a 14yr girl who and was abused by both her parents, in every way possible. She actually ended up in the hospital because of the abuse. Anyway while she was there they found ...


 Changing the name of an adopted child?
How do you feel about adoptive parents changing the name of their child? (I'm wondering this because my fiance and I have been discussing the possibility of having one or two biological children ...


 I'm in the process of adopting two boys (11 and 12), but I really don't like one of them; what do I do?
I really like Jamie, the 11 year old, but I can't stand Jack, the 12 year old. He speaks like a baby, and plays dumb on purpose (we've caught him in the act several times). He's also ...


 In 2009, what is your reaction to seeing a teenage mother with her baby?
1. Good for her to be taking responsibility.
2. She's chosen such a hard road, but it's not the end of the world.
3. She's screwed up her life.
4. I'll bet her ...


 I want to give my baby up for adoption, but my family doesnt want me to?
my boyfriend and i are VERY young, and not ready for a kid yet. we are both 18, and we have been together for a very long time, like almost 3 years. and im 4 mo. pregnant. we both want to give up the ...


 What's your opinion on adoption?
I'm 38, and my husband to be is 45. I've had a hysterectomy so I can't have any more children. Lately, though, the urge has been there to have a baby in the house. We have 3 kids, 17...


 I was rape at 14 and i got pregnant. i had to give my son up for adoption by force. now that i am 24 i would?
like to meet him and to know hes ok but due to my mother i have no idea wheres my son at is there anyway i can look for him all i know is that the adoption agency name was bethany christian services(...


 Is adopting the only way to help starving children in need?
What do you think?
What else can we do?

I would suggest Manna World Wide, how about you?...


 I think am preg and the the father does not want it?
I think am preg and i told my boyfriend he told me to get rid of it. He said that he hates it and i have to pick between and and the baby.What should ido ?...


 How do we get our baby back after changing our minds about adoption?
I recently gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. My boyfriend and I have planned on an open adoption with a wonderful, caring, deserving couple who have been through a lot and wanted nothing more than ...


 I just found out I was adopted.?
I am 29, and never in a million years would have thought I would go through this. I am still in shock and cry all the time. I just can't believe it. I feel grateful for being taken in and all, ...


 LADIES please help, she is 20, married and wants an abortion?
My best friend is 20 yrs old. She is married with a 1 yr old son. At this moment she is pregnant again, she is 16 weeks . She is calling me asking if she should get an abortion. I told her no, I said ...


 Adoption? For or against it?
why?
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no I don't mean abortion.
I actually avoid that topic.
I know many people who think adoption is not right.
That people should have their OWN ...


 I going to adopt a 2 year old... Should i change his first name?
I dont like his first name.... so should i change it? He wouldnt know the difference anyway
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Taylor, i AM in a position to change it. I'm adopting him there for He&...


 Would you give up your family and loved ones forever?
if it meant you could have more money and material things?
Additional Details
Because that's what adoptees are expected to do.

Thanks for all your honest answers!...


 We adopted twins we need names?
we adopted twins a boy and girl please help us with the ...


 Shouldn't adoptees wait for their birth mothers to find them?
Not the other way around. For all you individuals out there who are searching, do you not believe if she wanted to meet you she would have found you to tell you about your roots? Should you not ...


 Can you nurse adopted baby?
...


 I am an adult that was raised in an open adoption situation.?
My biological relatives, who I know, did not provide emotional, spiritual or financial support. My adoptive parents provided all of those things. Now that I am older, my biological relatives are ...



Laura T
My parents want me to give my baby up for adoption?
I am 17 years old and just told my parents im 9 weeks pregnant. They are both set on me giving it up for adoption but after these short few weeks ive gotten use to the thought of having a baby and taking care of something that rightfully belongs to me..my babys father doesnt want me to give it up and he wants to help take care of me and the baby! how can i tell them i want to keep it?



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Dayle
Your parents are probably just upset right now. Give them time to calm down and I am sure them will change their mind.
I am sure they can't make you give up your child, to put your mind at ease check out the laws in your state.

I pray, that all goes well for you!!!!!!!!!!

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Sean F
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you should not get rid of your baby becase that is somthing you can call your own and she or he will be irraplacable you will never be able to have another like him or her just tell your parents you and your boyfriend are going to keep it and he is going to help you raise it

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Tasia71304
Thats your baby. If you want to keep the baby than keep the baby they can't make you get rid of the baby. I got pregnant at 17 and was just fine my daughter is four now and wouldnt know what to do without her. If you give that baby up you will always be wondering if he or she is doing or if he or she is alright. You going to miss all the precious first. I would give the baby up if I was you.

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cris
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do what you know is good and better for you both,good luck.

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mkayed
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Well first of all you have to think of whats best for your baby, people say giving your baby up when you know you can't take care of it is the most selfless act you can do, unfortunately thats not always the case. Now i'll be honest I've been waiting for a baby to adopt for over two years but I would never want to take a baby from a good capable biological mother. I just wanted to give you a few thoughts having a baby sounds great someone to love you unconditionally, but you are going to be responsible for the baby 24/7 definitely you will have to love the baby more than you'll feel the baby loves you. School a life and college a good job will be hard fortunately govt will pay for alot for a single mother and hopefully you'll have the support of your parents behind you. Another thing consider an open adoption where you can be part of the baby's life without having the financial burden of it. Don't get me wrong every option you have is going to be hard because it's not just you you have to think about. I hope you have plenty of support in your life to help you make this decision definitely not one to be made over night. Good Luck and God Bless! By the way your 17 if you want to keep it then keep it when your 18 hopefully before the babies born have enough money saved up and do it, go to the nearest welfare office and apply for everything you can and dont be afraid to take help if you choose to do this you'll need all the help you can. Once again God Bless!

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snowwillow20
Rating
Let your parents know how you feel, but also get some literature/testimonials from bithmoms.
You do not "get over" giving your child up. You wonder and you cry.

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janine k
It is ultimately your decision as to whether you give your baby up for adoption or not but I will tell you this when I was 14 I had a baby girl who I gave up for adoption and,even after 30 years,I still regret this.My parents adopted me at birth and their reasoning that swayed me was that my daughter would be better off with two people who could do so much more for her than I could.Fair enough!But I wish to this day that she was here with me and always will.You are lucky in the fact that you are old enough to keep your baby and that you have a supportive partner.GO WITH YOUR HEART and good luck for the future.

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simple
it's not their decision. there's no thinking to it. wait till it comes up, as opposed to bringing it up (they may be less defensive this way). I'm positive it will sooner than later. mention that you aren't comfortable with the thought of giving up your child and that this is a decision you've thought long and hard about. sound confident when you speak...don't make it seem like you are open to their influence. if they continue to push the issue, tell them you are done talking about it. you would like their support in this, but if they can't do that, then you understand...

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Ted
Rating
Do not let them force you. If you are capable mentally and physically of raising the child then you have every right. Just be prepared to deal with the wrath of you parents. Tell them you understand that they are just trying to help, but it is your life and your child and you want to keep him/her. Tell them you love them very much and that you would like to have their support and help, whatever they can give.

You need to tell them that you are willing to accept the sacrifices needed to raise the baby. Do not expect them to care for your child and you, that is not their place. You have to be a grown up now. If they do agree to help with their grandchild, that is great. You need to start preparing now to support yourself and the baby.

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lovetocheerjcasxo
i am adopted and i can tell you a lot of things that the baby will feel.... plus my mother was 17 to.
baby: once the baby is old enough to understand why they are adopted..they will start feeling like their adoptive family doesn't like them. they will also feel alone, and even scared somtimes because they don't know who their real family is.
they will also proberly be scared to tell their adoptive parents that they want to meet you because they don't want to hurt them.

Mother: will proberly feel regretfull because of the adoption. she just gave away one of her own kind!! and after an adoption plan is done it cannot be undone ever!!

this is your baby and it's your desion!!

GOOD Luck!

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Whathappened2U
That is your baby. You keep that baby and love it. Don't give it up if that is not in your heart. If the baby's daddy is willing to help you are far better off than a lot of girls. You can raise that baby to be healthy and happy. Don't do what others want you to do. You have to live with the decision, not anyone else.

I wish you the best.

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Mary Anne S
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Tell them that this is your decision and you could really use their help.

But have a Plan B ready just in case, like maybe move in with boyfriend or relative... whatever in case your parents tell you to leave.

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JennaBear
I'd give them a copy of The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier.

Also, make sure to get support during the process and figure out how you will live after the baby is born. Look into financial assistance, talk with other friends/family to see who can help you. Many grandparents are actually excited once they see their grandchild for the first time, so hang in there! :)

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Rating
i think you should keep it.
doesnt matter what your parents have to say.
your child. because if you were to give it up you would always think did i do the right thing wondering what the kid is doing. so dont listen to anyone that has something negative to say and do what you think is best for you and your boyfriend??

GoOd LuCk..!!

ALSO CONGRATS..

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bangorrog
If you love the child and really want the baby don't give it up. It will haunt you for the rest of your life if you do. Social status doesn't replace the love that a birth mother or father has for a child so don't let anyone talk you into that belief. I was your age when I lost my daughter and I've been searching for 46 years for her.

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Punk Bunny
Rating
DON'T do it if you dont want to PLEASE! i was pressured into my baby's adoption by my family and i regret it soooo much. its horrible. if you think you are ready and you want to keep it, KEEP it!!

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Hannah B
Rating
Be firm. This is your baby not theirs. They probably want what they think is best for you (to preserve your reputation, keep you in eduction etc.). Explain to then that if you gave up your baby you would regret it for the rest of your life so it is definately not the best thing for you. Tell them in no uncertain terms that you are keeing your baby with or without their support but that would appreciate their help as you are so young.

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M.L.C.M
Just tell them flat out. its ur baby not theirs.

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snakebittenkitten2
Rating
Good for you---((((it wont be easy and you know that but you love this baby and you would really like their support-- and you would like to show them that they did a wonderful job raising you and you will do the same for your baby--and that Ive decided to keep my child----thats what you say....))))))

good luck and good for you :)

its the hardest job in the world but the most fun-rewarding-and sweet times---enjoy the ride I have two and I wouldnt trade them for anything--

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Due in October with #1
Dear Laura,
Tell your parents: Mom, Dad, I am keeping my baby. End of story so please stop telling me to give him or her up for adoption.It's my baby and my choice.
Coming from a women who was put up for adoption, I would say if your are mature and capable of taking care of yourself and your baby, Keep him or her. Adoption is a wonderful thing, don't get my wrong, but as an adoptive person myself, I have always wondered where I can from, what my mother was like etc etc etc. It haunted my for 20 years. I congratulate you for doing the mature thing. There are many avenues for young moms to go down. There are so many people out there wanting to help.
Blessings to you and your baby.

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CMLee
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Well I think that if the baby's father wants to take an active role in the baby's life and yours is even more of a reason to keep your baby. I would set up a time for you your parents and the baby's dad to have a talk. Then go from there. Just remember its ultimately your decision your parents cant make it for you. Now just to let you know I do believe that in certain situations its better to give a baby up for adoption but your 17 not 13 or 14 and even though it will still be rough for a while I think with support from the baby's dad it will make it much easier and eventually your parents will come around. Good Luck : )

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Amanda T
Rating
Tell them that you want to keep it and its your baby. You only have one more year until you are an adult, they cant make you give it up for adoption. Dont do something you will regret I'm sure you will be a great mother. Good Luck.

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racyred
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Hi Laura

Parents aren't always right, if deep down you know you want to keep your baby, then you have every right to make that decision, this is your decision after all and your feelings, and your feelings are true to yourself, dont ignore them.

Perhaps you and the babys father could talk about how you will support each other and the baby and when you have a plan put together you can then approach your parents more easily with your decision.

Let your parents know exactly how your feeling, and how it would make you feel if you had to give the baby up for adoption, then they may see things from your point of view

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Decoy Duck
Tell your parents just what you told the rest of us. Nobody can force you to give your baby up for adoption.... ultimately it is your choice. However, you should probably weigh all the pros and cons of raising a child by yourself at such a young age. Truthfully make a list of each and make your decision based on what is best for your child.

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k
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keep him he is your future

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amieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Rating
i was put up for adoption cos my birth mothers parents, did the same thing, and ive resented them all my life, PLEASE hun do what is right for you not them! so just say what you said on here, that u and the babys farther want to keep the baby! at the end of the day it has 2 be ur desision!

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No name
Rating
YOUR body......................YOUR baby!!!!

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paganmom
Rating
You have a bit before you have to make a decision. I suggest you sit down and decide if you can care for the baby once it's born.
Work out a budget, see how much help you will be able to to get.
Will you be able to go to school, will you be able to work, can you afford daycare. Does you school (or college) supply cheap daycare for students?

There are a lot of things babies need, formula (if not breastfeeding), diapers, clothes, and all the furniture and equipment.

If you want to keep this baby then GREAT! But you need to go into it with a plan, and not just the assumption that it will all be okay.

One piece of advice- no mattter how helpful the guy is, no matter how much he says he will help, even if you are getting along and their are no problems- you need to get a court order for child support just in case.

Good luck, you are certainly not the first 17 year old to keep thier baby.

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Bridget S
You just tell them. They can't force you into adoption. They may tell you that you can't live with them though.

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kerida_menina
Rating
PLEASE do what you truely feel is right. It's your baby. I don't know what country you are in, but these days there is sooooooo much help for young mothers. The support is amazing. I wish you the best of luck!!

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julie j
Rating
Hi Laura,

In order for a legal adoption to take place, BOTH parents must sign relinquishment papers. The grandparents have no say in it, regardless of your age.

Although they cannot make you give away your baby, they can make life difficult for you if they do not approve of your choices. They can make you live somewhere else or support yourself. You should be making arrangements during your pregnancy to plan how you will support yourself and the baby. The baby is entitled to support from his/her father, and it sounds like he intends to stay together with you. You may also qualify for government assistance for medical coverage, housing assistance, WIC, etc. Definately look into all of your options now.

Mothers never say "I wish I had given away my child to adoption" yet most who have given away a child live to regret it. Talk to mothers who have done just that, particularly those from many years ago, to gain their perspectives. Talk to adoptees to hear the other side of adoption that agencies and adoptive parents may not know or may not tell you to find out how adoption affects the child, the most important person to consider.

Perhaps your parents came from the era where they believed that single parenthood is a sin. Thankfully, that stigma is fading into history. Even if you are young & poor now, that is temporary. Your baby will not care about that as long as you are there meeting his/her needs. Adoption should not be considered unless a child has abusive or drug addicted parents and there are no other extended family members who can step in to care for the child. That does not seem to be the case for you at all.

One last thing to mention - grandparents often feel differently once the shock of their teen daughter being pregnant wears off. When they see their new grandchild and hold him/her, I'm willing to guess they will offer more help at that time. Just don't rely on them to fully support you in case that does not happen.

Remember, your parents have no say in your decision to raise your child. You can do it. Good luck Laura.

julie j
reunited adoptee

P.S. "Open adoption" is the biggest lie out there. It is not legally enforceable no matter how nice they are to you, no matter what they promise you. Do not accept counseling from anyone affiliated with adoption services. Also avoid adoption agencies at this time and emails from strangers soliciting your child.

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