My father!!!????

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phoo0767	I'm going to start and say good luck. If you are calm and don't lose your cool, I'm sure he won't either. Don't jump on the whole "leaving you" topic as soon as you begin your conversation. He left for a reason and he deserves your respect when he tells you. Although he left you and you are probably angered, just listen to what he has to say. Be tentative and listen. Participate in the conversation and like I said before, DON'T LOOSE YOUR COOL! Good luck and remember that if you want his respect, give him yours! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Bouvier	You deserve answers to all of the questions you have, however, keep in mind, they may not "be the answers you desire". Don't let that stop you however. Once you make that call, your life will most definately change. It's a fork in the road of life you are currently on, but I do think it will end up being a positive experience for you, no matter what. Otherwise, you will remain on that "same road" and always wonder what those answers are. Good Luck to you, and you do have "real" parents............They are the one's that love you as if you were their blood, and wanted you "so badly" that they cried many tears of anguish until you finally came in to their lives. They are YOUR parents, and you are very lucky to have them, and them to have YOU. Good Luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

acceptancewithjoy20	you have a right to be nervous. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

simple serenity	I went thru exactly what your about to do. Do not get your hopes up and don't take anything he mite say to you personally. I know that will be hard but just remember who is acting as the adult rite now.I met my bio father after 28 yrs and he acted as if i wasn't there. Yea it hurt but he was the one with the problem not me.I have not seen him sense and that's okay,to me he was just a sperm donor nothing more nothing less, Good luck hunny. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

~Blonde~	Ok hun, heres what you do. You will be nervous but if something is telling you to do it than call him. Start of saying hello is this Mr. (whatever last name is) and he will be like who is this. Say, "This is (whatever your name is)." By than he will know how you are probably. Than just start talking to him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Maggie	Just be honest and kind to him.And ask him the questions you're curious about.Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Bubbeh C	If your adoptive parents support you, maybe they would be willing to make the first phone call for you. I did this for my adopted daughter. My calling put some distance between them for a first contact. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kathy T	There's nothing wrong in having emotions & questions about your biological father. I'ts normal. I would advise you to have your adoptive parents with you when you make first contact with him either by phone or face to face. Have the people who have 'been there' for you with you. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Blue Light Fairy	Just say that you want to know about this name (say your name). If he doesn't know, then ask him about if he had ever have a baby, or maybe anything that connects to baby. Say your characteristics. Good Luck then. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥ Mischa S. ♥	Wow! You must be excited, nervous, and very confused. Well, first off, this man is your father. Or at least, you think he is. But do not get too close all of a sudden. These relationships take time and effort. You could start off by saying "Hello, may I please speak to ______?" Whatever you do, do not tell him right off that you are his daughter. First say, "Hello, my name is ____ and I am ___ years old. I think you know me?" or something like that. Do not bring up the whole "adoption business". Well, at least not until he says something. And question him about the whole "real father" thing later. When he knows about who you are more. Most of all, do not meet him in person until three (3) phone calls have been placed and exchanged. Best of luck! :-) I'm cheering for you! :-D Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Unicornrider	Wow, that's a hard one. I wish you all the strength and couragem you can do this, and need to do this, it will either go into a relationship, or into something that will give you an understanding of him and why it all happened, either of which gives closure and peace of mind. I wish you well. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

the man	yea u can do that and i bet he will regret wat he did. you may think he does not love you but maybe it was the hardest decission he did. but then again he could be this person who really did not care. But if loved u he would try to find you instead of marring it just says he moved on and u better leave like that and move on ur strong u survive for 16 wat is 16 more. Just move on its the right thing to do... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥♥lala♥♥♥	Wow u guys got a lot of talking to do good luck and be careful the past can hurt you some times but good luck ok and if ur dad is cool about you seeing him try to make up some time for all the lost years ok .♥ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

good_old_bastard	We know what you are going through and you may want to try this: Rather than calling him out of the blue, why not writing him a letter (if you know his address) introducing yourself, then telling him you want to contact him for the purpose of getting his health history for your future health issues. Tell him you would be happy to furnish him a DNA sample (spit, Silvia, skin, blood, hair) for him to compare to his to make absolutely sure he is, in fact, your biological father. Briefly tell him about his other siblings. Nevertheless, tell him you don't what to interfere in his present life, but for the sake of your future family you need his history. Don't mention your mother unless he asks answering his specific questions without criticism or either side of the relationship. Be kind and honest. Send the letter and give him three weeks to answer, if he has not answered in three weeks, then write him a second letter apologizing for shocking him, reiterate you need for health information, and ask his advise as to who to contact for this information. In each letter, give all your contact information especially you phone number. If you don't hear from him in two months, then call him and recall your letters to him. Don't be surprised if he is surprised and may not want any contact from you or your siblings. We would be interested in your success or not. Best of luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

J D	Don't be nervous. Just ask him if he is ok talking to you about what happened. You might want to find out what caused him to sign over his rights. Did your mom push him into it? Did he do it because he wanted you to have a real dad in your life? There are a number of reasons it may have happened and not all of them are always bad. Just try to keep your expectations realistic. He may end up becoming a part of your life, but the guy that adopted you will always be your 'real' dad. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

CHERYL	BOTH OF MY PARNETS SIGNED ME OVER. IF I WAS TO TALK TO THEM RIGHT NOW ; 1)I WOULD ASKED WHY THEIR DID WHAT THEY DID? 2)DID YOU LOVE ME? 3)ARE THEY OTHER BROTHERS AND SISTERS? 4)WHAT IS MY HISTORY? 5)DO YOU THINK OF ME? 6)DIDI YOU LOVE ME OR WAS I A MISTAKE? SO JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE QUESTIONS THAT YOU WANT TO ASKED HIM.I WOULD BE VERY NERVOUS TOO. HOW DOES YOUR MOTHER FEEL ABOUT YOU CALLING YOUR FATHER? YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER AND SEE IF SHE CAN HELP WITH THIS BIG QUESTION YOU HAVE.GOOD LUCK Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

GorgeousGal10	Well, if you think about all that stuff, call him and tell him that. If he cant give a good explanation, fast enough, than you knw you were right. But, you should call him. Even though you dont want him to be a part of your life, he is part of life, by being the person, who walked out of it 16 years ago. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cherry pie	hmmm, well, i think that maybe you should call him to just get it over with and get some answers. but dont be disappointed if hes a jerk, it may be better to get the suspension and apprehension over with, then you wont have any "what ifs?" hanging over yuor head, just dont expect too much. i saw a lifetime movie with a girl in a similar situation as this and once she met her dad, it ended all her questuions and bitterenss and misconceptions, but she was way better off without him and never saw him again. good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fletchfredarnie	Go for it! Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

C K Platypus	Good Luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jennifer A	Just try to be as nice as possible. If he doesn't show an interest, then I would move on with my life. At least you know you tried. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Iggy	Say what you're saying here. Read it if you have to; but clear the air. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mrs garfield	just treat him like anyone else. ask him things that you want to know like what he's been doing, what he likes, if he wants to meet with you etc. you'll know what to say when you talk to him, i think it's great that you want to talk to him. good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Devin's mom	You should start the conversation by giving him your name and asking if this is a good time to talk and if he knows who you are. (You may need to tell him who you mother is and give some dates.) If he says no or hesitates, ask him if he can take down your number, if you are willing to give it to him, or ask him when would be a good time to call back. In 16 years, it is safe to assume that he has a different life. He has not been fair to you, but it is not your place to divulge secrets that could hurt other people in his life right now. If the initial greeting goes well, I would say something like this. " As you can imagine, I have a lot of questions for you." Keep this conversation as light as possible. Just open the door. If it seems, that he will be less than cooperative then push a little harder for the questions you want answers to. If you don't want him to be a part of you life, tell him that "at this point in your life you are not looking for a relationship with him but you are curious". Be honest. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Laurel J	When I tracked down my birth mother and called her for the first time, I had my (ex) husband talk to her first, to verify I had the right person and to minimize the shock--and to make sure she didn't hang up, which she almost did anyway! I just didn't trust myself not to be too emotional or to say something stupid. After he talked to her for a few minutes I got on the line and all went well. If you don't have someone who could speak for you, you might consider writing down what you want to say in advance? Also, make sure you're prepared for the worst. If he doesn't want to talk to you, try not to take it personally, and make sure you have someone close by you can vent to. Good luck! I hope it's him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Faith .	Wish you luck. Relax, don't be nervous, it'll be just fine. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Queenz	I know this may be hard, but 16 years. You must have been anticipating it for a long time, so for you to back out you'll feel like crap. First of all it's going to be hard, and you don't know if the per-son your going to call will be your real father or not. Either way you're scared. You might want to call with one of your siblings, or friend. If you want this to be a personal matter, then put on a song that gives you confidence, like " I'm a Survivor" by Destiny's Child. You can also have some ice cream around. Anything that's going to get you comfortable. Also prepare to be disappointed, if the person is not your father. Don't get your hopes too high, because you know the saying, the higher they are,the harder they fall. Don't take that for granted. If he is your father then prepare what your going to say. In the end, be proud of yourself, because you made it that far, and that should be an accomplishment. SO go ahead and go for it!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

nvr10pts	Not knowing what kind of reaction you will get from him means you need to be prepared for anything. Remember that a call out of the blue will mean that he isn't expecting it either. Let him know soon in the conversation why you are calling and be honest! If you wish you could talk every once in a while or have coffee now and again then let him know. His life now may not have much room for you or he may not be proud of how things are going so he may seem standoffish. I would just let him know that from time to time you have questions and that you would like to know that you can contact him when it's time to ask them. Good luck, I went through a similar situation. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

red_star_56	i hope everthing works out for u all right. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

KatiexxX	Dont ask too many questions you will scare him..also expect the worse, because it will just upset you which you dont want. 16 years is a long time just think about if its the right thing to do first and if it makes you happy then go ahead and do it, good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lady	Why, why, why, would you want to have anything to do with that man? What about your birth mother who had to carry you and give you up because that jerk did what he did? What about her? She has been through a heart wrenching time. All I can imagine are all the lies he will tell you. You weren't babies when he did this. It sounds like he didn't want the financial responsibility of you. It's not about you. It's about him being a bad person and bad people don't make good parents. If you are still with your real mother, how does she feel? After all she's done for you, now he can come in and be the "good" guy. You have no clue as to what she went through. Have some children first, then you'll see what he did was sooooo low. You'll understand what your mom had to face. I wish you the best, but beware of the cr*p he'll tell you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No