Just found out i'm pregnant and want to give my unborn child up?

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Freckle Face	Contact an agency. Talk it thru with your husband. It sounds like you are going thru so much right now. This is your decision to make. Just take it slow and make an informed decision. Don't let anyone pressure you into making decisions you don't want to do. You have the right to change your mind at anytime. To adopt or not to. Good luck to you and your baby. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

luluwadey2	hi you sound really sad you poor thing! i can understand what you are going through, you are very young to be doing this on your own isnt their anyone to help you for support? if you think you can carry the baby then give it up for adoption am sure there are lots of people out their to help you i would go to see your gp first, he will get you the right people to talk to & hopfully help you out. Your partener should be helping you out on this 2 as he in involved in this, try no to stress about this & get some help you will feel much better once you have spoken to somebody about what you want to do & they will help you every step of the way, I really hope this advice helps you & take care xxxx Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Pal	You have to make sure your husband is going to cooperate with terminating his parental rights. Be prepared for a lot of controversy with family and neighbors pulling you one way and the other. If you haven't already get into family counseling, this will put even more stress on your marriage for the next 9 months than it has already. you have a right to decide against abortion but it would solve the problem quickly and finally. There is no shame in choosing abortion as an emergency form of birth control. Women have been doing it for thousands of years.I wish you the best of everything no matter what you choose. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Earthangel	The fact that this has come as such a shock and at a bad time is making you feel you couldnt have another child. I totally disagree with abortion and there are plenty of people unable to have their own child that would love to adopt yours. I would speak to your GP about your depression as that certainly wont help but give it a little time and talk to your husband - you may feel differently after a couple of months. If not - then your GP will be able to put you in contact with the right people Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ghost Writer Rides Again	Just so you know...only those who are unmarried can get away with relinquishing without needing the father's consent. You're married, they will not even consider the idea unless he is in favor of this as well. I have been there. I was and still am seperated from the father of both my children, the youngest I relinquished for adoption at her birth. I juggled with the pregnancy for many many months before I decided that this was best for all of us. Husband's only response was "does this mean I only have to pay for one?" Really sit and think about it. Research what you can. Open adoption are not legally enforceable, once you sign this child away, it will be done....over. Do not contact an agency or attorney until you have researched this, discuss with your husband, discuss with your family. I was in my seventh month when I decided....you need to sit and consider all of this. Every one of us handles our situation differently. While I do not regret relinquishment, I do miss her and think about her all the time. She has a big sister who knows about her and cannot wait to see her in person (even tho it may be years). This does not mean that you will feel the same way. Wait it out, let the shock wear off before you and your husband jump to any rash decisions. When you are six or seven months along and still feel this is a better option, then sit down with hubby and discuss what you both want done. You said you really want this child. Already this sounds like you could not go thru with this. Situations do change. Remember the old saying: adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. FYI, Sue: a child is not a "gift". Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mom	what did U want 2 know? I lost the question.... U want sum1 to fill out an application 2 pick up Ur kid or tell U how 2 go about settin it all in motion? U want people 2 tell U what a good idea & how responsible? most people r 2 selfish... good luck, would help U if I could.... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tai's backup	This is a really hard decision....what are your husbands veiws on it? I don't agree with abortion(unless in extreme circumstances) but even this would be a kinder option than having a child who goes through life feeling unwanted and "lost"....always looking for answers, what willl you explain to the child if and when it comes looking for you in 18 years time? That you gave it up because you and your husband had only just got back together and you didnt want to rock the boat?........sorry but i don't think this will cut it with your future child when she is looking for answers. I understand you didnt mean to fall pregnant, but you did....so maybe you need to look at the positives of the situation and take responsibility instead of leaving her for someone else to bring up . Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

zulu man	It is OK. But if you feel you may want to meet your child one day. Then make some arrangements please for that to happen. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kym M	Don't worry about the rude answers. Some people are not happy unless they are being a jerk. I am glad you don't want an abortion as that would wreak havoc on your body. Might I also add that it is not up to the mother - in - law whether you have this baby or not. She cannot make that decision for you. Please don't listen to her. She sounds mean even though she is letting you live with her. I live with my mother - in - law at the moment as she has health issues and I have 5 kids and my hubby and an 18 yr old neice to look after. And she would never tell me such an awful thing. I would suggest thinking this through more thoroughly as once this decision is made it is hard to change the circumstances. Even though you have had a rough patch make sure this is what you and your hubby want. If you still want to adopt out the baby then search adoption agencies in your town. But most of all good luck and god bless. :) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

SEA G	You need to follow your gut instinct, you know what is best for your family and your child, obviously there is a lot to this story and we only get a tiny piece of it. I am one of those people who can't have children and want too, so i am biased to the adoption issue. If your husband doesn't want the child and/or it isn't his then you have complete control over the issue. Sweetheart think of Your child, God has plans for it, just let go and let your heart lead your decision and NO ONE has the right to influence you. adoption is a great option for you and your child and you could ask for an open adoption and still keep up in pictures and letters to see how baby is doing.. you have a lot of options good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jesskhlr	well coming from someone who has put there child up for adoption..let me just tell you this..it is the hardest thing i ever did in my life..i knew it was what was best for him but it is so hard..you know what it's like to be pregnant and to feel the baby moving in side you and all that then you go to the hospital and have the baby and you leave empty handed..it takes a very strong person to do that...plus it sounds like you already are dealing with alot of stress and you are still grieving for your father ....to much stress is not good...i really feel for you and i wish you all the best..see i'm not against abotion..but it just wasn't for me...there are some people whoo can't handle the adotion so you to sit long and hard with your husband and think about what is the best thing for you two and Paige.. all the best Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ruby M	I think that you and your husband should have a chat about this, if you want this baby then you can surely come to some arrangments to make it work. Giving up a baby after 9 months of carrying it and giving birth to it would be very hard. Please have a think about it first as i wouldnt want you to do anything that you will regret later in life, you dont wanna be filled with "what ifs". Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gershom	Good luck to you and your family. I think keeping, if possible is the best way to go!! It prevents alot of separation trauma in the infant!! Where theres a will theres a way!! Rock on!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tina R	My heart realy goes out to you. You have had a realy bad time may i wish you and your family all the love and luck in the world. You will do the right thing in the end nobody can tell you what to do and how to feel. Take care. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

angie i	please dont do it. i was pregnant, and the dad wasnt around but i still kept it, now i have a lovely 17week old. to think i wanted to get rid of him. i think you shoudl keep it xxx Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lisa_b	this must have come as a shock to you, why not give yourself some time to come to terms with the idea before you make any rash decisions? What does your partner say? Obviously he'll need to know if you're thinking of going through with the pregnancy. If you still want to give the child away, you'll need to contact an adoption agency Best wishes with whatever you decide Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tasha e	I'm so so sorry that you've been through all this on your own. you have had a awful time i really feel for you . well i can only give you my apin to this i would personally keep the baby move out of the mother-in-laws house she really has no right to tell you what to do and i would tell him to grow up and sort him self out and to support you when you need him most.. one thing to think about while you are carrying this baby is could you give him or her up think back to when you gave birth to your little girl the first time you hold her and kissed her what you felt at that very time not after or anything else just that moment and there you will find your answer to you Q hope this helps just remember this is your child and you can do whats best for you and your baby there is so much help for people with the baby blues now days so if you do keep the baby just ask for help when its born explain to the doctor what you have been through before and you will find him or her very help full good luck darling all the best Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lauren B	Talk to your husband it's the only way to sirt this out. I hope everything goes well Good Luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

boydie	At the end of the day it is your decision as it is your body that is going to go though all the changes and if you think you are strong enough to give up that baby go ahead but just cause you live with the mother in law don't feel forced into giving up the baby i suggest that you and your husband sit down and have a long chat to help you decide what to do. But as you have a little child of 2 it may be abit soon but remember that it is your choice at the end of the day. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

opedial	I say give yourself some time. There are many potential adoptive parents (okay myself included) who will make an excellent parent but you must decide for yourself and the pregnancy is nine monbths so time to decide and weigh options. Planned parenthood is good to give all the choices to you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lizaclutton	I could never ever consider it, but i know for you to have to consider it , there must be a problem, maybe if you have the baby, you can get a house of your own< i know this may sound soft, cause if you could have your own house you would have one by now, but i honestly think, having your own house would help and then you could have this baby. Imagine when you give birth to this baby and then you have to give it up, it would be so hard. another reason for you to keep the baby is your other child who is 2, he wouldnt grow up a single child, a little brother or sister that would be so nice seeing them play. Listen im sorry ive probably made you feel a whole lot worse now, i didnt mean to, but please try and get your own house so you can keep this little one I think abortians are better than adoption, adoption can muck the childs head up later on in life, thinking his birth mum didnt want him, sorry i was no help Good luck Hun Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sarahhhhhhh	OK first off, you said "you want the baby" but you couldnt have it due to living with your mother in law. I think the answer is already there. You and your hubby have just got back together? so what. When the baby arrives, then its make or break. People bring up kids on there own every single day! They get money from the state if they dont work. I am not sure if your american or from UK, but here in the UK, there is pleanty of help with housing, benefits etc. You CAN provide for that child. Get yourself housed, you have 9 months to sort it. Talk to your husband, even try marridge councilling if thats what it takes to get you both back on track. Adoption isnt the answer here at all. Your not the worst case. count on family and friends too. Do what you can. And provide for the baby. DONT put the baby up for adoption. Never thaught I would here myself say that, but i dont think you have good cause for adoption. Whatever you do, then I hope you make the right decsion for you and your unborn child. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mammy	To be honest you sound a bit confused at the moment to make any rash decisions. Talk it over with your husband, your in laws have nothing to do with your decision. Go to the council about accommodation etc. If you are not going to have an abortion, leave your decision till closer to the birth, just sort your lives out. This year might be a turn around for you! Good Luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

FoxForceFiveVega	Please think it out really really good. I understand that you are going through tough things w/marraige, money, etc..but really think about if down the road 10yrs, 20yrs, how much you will think about that baby. And where it is, and what it looks like. I know people give up for adoptions everyday, but I don't understand it in your case. You are married, healthy, have another child, young and able to raise. Im not trying to be rude, but If I were in your shoes, and I have been there, I would not give it up for adoption. Make the best of it. It will work out. Even if you are a single parent (like me). Please just think about it before you sign it away. If you absolutey want to do it, then that's a decision you will have to live with for the rest of your life. good luck. I hope you don't regret it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

fairy	hi, if you have only just found out, please wait alittle longer before even think of signing it away too a couple, you may seriously regret it after, my friend signed her baby away while pregant and had the adopted parents follwing her throughout her pregnacy and they took the baby just after it was born, my friend was too lost figure out wether to change her mind, but her seriously regret , your child would be perfect aged sibling for your daughter. once you know you have a child in the world your most likely never going to see it can be as hard has abortion Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

happyearthmother	you sound like you need a big hug and support. Have you got any close friends near you that you can pour your heart out to? My friend didnt want her 2nd child all the way from start to finish but has never regretted keeping him, in fact she coped better with him than the first. Your midwife or doctor may be able to offer you support and advice. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Adoptionissadnsick	I wouldn't wish the pain of being without one's mother on anyone. It is really difficult to grow up with strangers. I wish my mother would have terminated her pregnancy rather than sentence me to a life where I can't trust or love. If you won't parent, please don't birth your baby. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LaurieDB	I just want to reiterate that adoption is forever, while your current living situation and marital bumps are not. You are saying right in your question that you want the baby. Consider this before making a decision that will permanently separate you from her. Also, please know that open adoptions are not enforceable by law. The adoptive parents can close the adoption at any time, and you have no legal recourse. You will be out of the picture completely. It is also very important that you do not respond to posts asking you to contact them because they or someone they know wants to adopt a child. These people who troll for children over the Internet should not be trusted. I wish the very best for you and your family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jessica300	Hi Lisa, Isn’t it interesting that you got so much support to keep your child over on the pregnancy and parenting board, and yet so many people here cheer you on to give up your flesh and blood? That is because there are a lot – A LOT – of people out there who want an infant – anyone’s infant to “raise as there own”. Adoption is a big business and if you go through with it, someone is going to be making money off of the “sale” of your child. They won’t ever call it that, they’ll never let on that that is how they are making money and staying in business, but that is exactly what is happening. Can you put a price tag on your daughter? If you want to know what it is like for one mother who has lost her child to adoption, here are a couple of recent answers that I’ve given: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvdxRwxWB_mBFb93Ztsko77ty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080122085426AAs2u6w&show=7#profile-info-B9OmtrMcaa http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhQHZ2TzlYFSgD6DFQrY_zzty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080120182504AArOHCF&show=7#profile-info-E6NadCQgaa This is a link to a woman I “know” through the internet who lost her first child to adoption (is in an open adoption) and is now raising her second born child. She writes from the heart about what it is like to lose a child to adoption. http://paragraphein.wordpress.com/2007/12/19/for-april/ Please let me know if I can help you research via the web some resources that might help you keep your family together. I also recommend http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/ for further help towards preserving your family. Family preservation is an idea that used to be very strong in this country until the adoption industry found that they could make big bucks on our children. Quite frankly, I would go through an abortion before I would lose another child to adoption. Best of luck in keeping your family together. ETA: "we have both agreed we are going to keep the baby" Wow - that is great! I'm so happy that you've found a way to make this work out for everyone!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Isabel A	It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. I think you have time to think this through and make a decision that works best for your family. First know that some people who answer here work for the adoption industry. And while yes open adoption is a choice for many, it is not one that is legally recognized in most states. Meaning that it is just like a closed adoption only the adoptive parents can decide to involve you in the child's life and they can change their minds at any time. You will in most cases have no rights whatsoever Be very wary of adoption workers disguised as friends who want you to email them so they can give you referrals. I fear that they do not have your best interest at heart. I have nothing to gain by telling you this. i just thought it would be important to let you know, there are people here who prey on vulnerable women in your position. I wish you the best in your pregnancy and in any future decisions. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather B	A child will never understand why you keep one and give one away - think about how the children are going to feel, both of them, before you do this permanent act that may now feel the answer to what could be a temporary situation I totally understand that unplanned pregnancy can happen, even within marriage (gasp!) From what I have read here there seem to be alot of anti-sex folk, how sad is that Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No