Would you give up your family and loved ones forever? |
if it meant you could have more money and material things? Additional Details Because that's what adoptees are expected to do.
Thanks for all your honest answers!... |
|
We adopted twins we need names? |
| we adopted twins a boy and girl please help us with the ... |
|
Shouldn't adoptees wait for their birth mothers to find them? |
| Not the other way around. For all you individuals out there who are searching, do you not believe if she wanted to meet you she would have found you to tell you about your roots? Should you not ... |
|
I am an adult that was raised in an open adoption situation.? |
| My biological relatives, who I know, did not provide emotional, spiritual or financial support. My adoptive parents provided all of those things. Now that I am older, my biological relatives are ... |
|
What kind of sick desperation is this? |
Check out this news story. On an empty stomach. It will make you sick.
http://www.nwcn.com/stat
How ... |
|
Why is "birth mother" an offensive term? |
I do not understand. Why is acknowledging something as wonderful as birth offensive to some people? Additional Details ETA: Thank you to those who provided insight into the history and ... |
|
Are mothers who give up a baby for adoption "abandoners"? |
What does it mean to be an "abandoner?"
What about the father, grandparents, brothers, sisters, and other family members - are they also abandoners since they did not take in ... |
|
A young girl having a baby(her friend needs HELP!!!)? |
| ok well my friend is very young to have a kid and she dosent know wat to do she knows that she cant keep the child but she dosent want to get an oportion but she is scared to give birth... she ... |
|
How to tactfully ask my birthmother to stop intruding on my life? |
| I'm an adult adoptee (34 yrs old), and I have been in contact with my birthmother since I was 22. I've known all my life about the details of my adoption, and of my birthparents, and ... |
|
Do you believe that birth mothers are idealized and glamorized? |
| I am not saying they are not wonderful individuals I'm sure mine was. However, to read posts on this site one would imagine most birth mothers are the Madonna Incarnate come to save us from our ... |
|
Adoption or Raise? |
| okay, since im only 14 and preggo, id like to know what would be easier for the baby, adoption or me raising it, its just kinda hard cause i mean, i know babies take alot of work, and some people end ... |
|
He wants to put our baby up for adoption I'm undecided and just don't know what to choose.Whats a girl to do? |
| My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 yrs. He has told me that He doesnt want kids or at least not till He is older...well I'm 2 months pregnant and He wants to give our child up for ... |
|
Should I tell my son his natural mother's name? |
| Prelude: I've been reading and responding to questions here. I think I know what most people's answer is going to be. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to do ... |
|
Does it bother anyone when bio moms refer to themselves as mother's? |
| They gave birth, but that was just incidental. There wasn't any special skill involved, just a fluke of sperm and egg. Then they went away. Adoptive moms actually get their hands dirty. They are ... |
|
So why do white families....? |
adopt ethnic babies?
is it to show people they are not racist or do they like the features of the certian race they adopted from?
I am just curious I am not trying to be racist
T... |
|
So I know some may think this is wrong but...? |
If your daughter was <17 and got pregnant would you make her give the baby up for adoption?
I say this because I know I would and I wanted to know if anybody else felt the same.
<... |
|
Why do ppl act like it's so easy to just give a child up for adoption after 9 months of carrying?? |
| I understand a lot of people are against abortions b/c i am too...but why do ppl always answer questions with "put the baby up for adoption" like if that is such an easy thing to do?? C... |
|
"Why not just adopt?"? |
| I am curious because I have noticed whenever a question has the word "infetile" users suggest adoption. Quite often they say something along the line of "just adopt so many kids need a ... |
|
I am 7 weeks andf thining strongly of putting the aby up for adoption? |
Where can i get started Additional Details BTW my keyboard is a piece of **** and i was crying when i was typing ... |
|
|
 |

Kazi |
In 2009, what is your reaction to seeing a teenage mother with her baby?
|
1. Good for her to be taking responsibility.
2. She's chosen such a hard road, but it's not the end of the world.
3. She's screwed up her life.
4. I'll bet her parents are raising her child.
5. She must have very permissive parents.
6. I wouldn't let my teenage daughter have that baby in a million years.
7. She's young, but she looks like a good mother.
8. Why wouldn't she have given that baby up for adoption.
9. I don't blink an eye when I see teenaged parents anymore.
10. I wonder if the baby's father is involved.
11. I wonder if this happened because this young girl doesn't have a father.
12. I hope she has a lot of support because she's going to need it.
All of the above. None of the above. Thoughts of your own. Additional Details Um, Trisha, I'm not actually saying these things. It's just a culmination of statements I have heard from people regarding their opinions on seeing teenage parents. I was just curious how other people see it.
|
|
Show all answers
Post your answer
|
|

sherriceminyen
 |
First off im a teen mother!
Second off I RAISE MY KID!! not my mom nor my dad.
Third her father is there we are married!
why dont you get a life and quite judging a book by its cover! Until you walk a mile in my shoes shut up!
I have all the support i need! I live on my own i work and support my daughter my self!!
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Emily
|
4 and 6
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

bananarama
|
honestly when I see a teenager with a baby I start thinking about what I can do to make sure my child wont end up in the same shoes. Even though I dont have any children yet and am not even married I just feel like by the time I do have kids and by the time there teenagers things are going to be so much crazier then then now or when I was growing up. It seems like americas youth are trying to be adults at younger and younger ages by each generation. I just hope I can find a way to keep my daughter from making the same choices that teenage mom did
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

pratikihc
 |
9. i dont blink an eye when i see a teenage mom anymore
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

✧ Ⓛⓘⓛⓨ ♥ kaelers, emy & bella
|
2, 10, 12.
Sometimes 1, 3 and 4 go through my mind. It depends on how she presents herself. If she's tidy, the baby looks happy and well cared for and she's paying attention to it, 1 is the first thought in my mind. Good for her.
If she's got a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, is yakking on her cell phone while her unkempt kid just sits there or wanders away (or worse, is screaming) and she's dressed like a tramp, has skunk-dyed hair and I can see her thong and tramp stamp, 3 and 4 come to mind.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Heather Leigh
|
1, 2, 7 & mostly 9.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

LaraSue
 |
I don't blink an eye.....never have.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Erin L
|
When I see a stranger who is a teenage mother, I think I usually don't think a whole lot about it. My passing thoughts might be that I applaud her for taking responsibility and I hope she has support. I'm an 8th grade teacher, so most of the teenage mothers I know IRL are former students. And, honestly, I have usually cringed at the thought of the young lady being a parent because usually I know what serious problems there are in her life and what a dysfunctional life she has. Usually that's the case when I've known teen mothers IRL. In a lot of cases, the pregnancy isn't unwanted or even unplanned. Adoption isn't even part of the equasion. The young lady is trying to fill a need she never had met in her family. It's usually a very sad situation and I do worry a lot about the baby being brought into the situation. That's not always the case, though. There have been a few cases where I think, well she'll have a bit of a hard time, but she's going to be just fine and the baby will be just fine and will be surrounded by the love and support of family through any difficult times. I've never known a teenage mother IRL who placed her child for adoption or who even considered it for that matter (of course I don't necessarily know what she considered). I have known of some unplanned pregnancies that were aborted, and usually in that situation I have thought it was the right decision.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Shauna
 |
This is a really tough one for me. Due to the fact that I have had a lot of people in my lives that were teen mothers, and most of them not all but a large portion don't have the father involved and just dumped the baby on their parents. But in honesty, because I've had to watch these people treat their poor beautiful babies so badly I tend to have a knee jerk reaction and go for 4 and 10 and hope that isn't the case for them. But I will say that I do have 1 very close friend that really stepped up and is an amazing mother better than some full grown married women. So while I feel bad for clumping all them in the same category it's hard because of most of what I've seen.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

grapesgum
 |
None of the above. I rush right up to her and give her my adoption networking card. I am so much more deserving of a baby than she is.
JUST KIDDING!!
1. Good for her to be taking responsibility.
2. She's chosen such a hard road, but it's not the end of the world.
12. I hope she has a lot of support because she's going to need it.
On 12. - I always hope that her family is lovingly backing her up and is enjoying their new family member.
I would like to add that some young looking parents are married and that the pregnancy may have been planned. My niece was married at 18 had a baby at 19 and one at 21. They are home owners and she is a stay at home mom. She looks very young. I can't believe the crap that she gets when she is out with her darling children. Her mom (my sister) was also a young, married mom. She and her husband wanted to have kids right away. They have three lovely grown children and are loving life as very young empty nesters.
If the mother is not ready for more children, I also hope that her parents and doctor are helping her to understand the need to use effective birth control.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

yeahright
|
1,2, 9 , 10 --and maybe some of the others depending on what she's actually doing with the baby. I've seen everything at the mall where I live from mom's really taking care of their kids to others freaking out or not paying attention at all--it is like anything else you can't paint a one sized fits all thing here.
For the most part I don't bat an eye.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Anha S
|
2 and 12, if I even notice to begin with. I've been there and done that, so mostly I feel empathy.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Shelby
|
I just think "great, she'll be a young grandmother"
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Harriet
 |
Obviously it depends what she's doing. If she looks like a normal mother, then I wouldn't think much other than "oh, she's young to have a kid". If she's smoking next to the kid or something, then I'd be pretty angry and think she wasn't doing a very good job. But same though with an adult mother in that case, in fact I've only ever seen adults doing that. I see very few teenage mothers where I live actually, or maybe I just don't notice their age.
Harriet
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Haley G
|
I dont look at it any different than I would looking at a mother in her late 20's early 30's (ofcourse aslong as they arenot 13,14 etc)
I personally can tell you, It is a damn hard and it is a 24/7 job, BUT if your heart is in the right place, you have your priorities in order and plan on doing something to better yourself, (ie. college, workforce ect) then all the power to all of you teen moms.
I am a 19 year old mother of a little girl who will be one next month, and I can safely say, i have never been on welfare, I have my highschool diploma and am attending college and have a part time job to support her.
It really does bother me when people label teen mothers as unfit, immature and welfare bums. I mean, open up your eyes and lets be realistic, does everyone truly fit to the same mold in life? I dont think so. I think they should be treated with respect because they made the decision to take responsibility for their actions and raise their child rather than shipping the child off for adoption ( im adopted and i can tell you right now how that feels...) or to go and get an abortion. Stay strong all you other teen moms! you can do it!!! =D
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

♫ Katherine ♫
 |
1, 2, 7, 12.
I wish the best for all teenage mothers. I know one personally and she loves her child will all her heart. Although she is young, she tries as hard as she can. 15 with a baby is hard, I respect her for following through on it.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

celtic.piskie
|
I coo at the baby lol.
I've seen mothers who were 30 and act like their child is an inconvenience.
Stuffing a dummy in their mouth at the first sign of being upset, without even looking to see what the problem is.
I've seen teen parents be the most wonderful, caring, sleep deprived people. Who never yell, or get frustrated.
I think people make their own choices in life, their own descisions.
We can never know what is going on in another person's life, and so have absolutely no right to judge.
As long as their child looks healthy, happy, I'm glad there is another happy soul in the world.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

monkeykitty83
|
<<9. I don't blink an eye when I see teenaged parents anymore.>>
This one, although I'm not sure I ever did. In the area where I grew up, and the area where I live now, teenage pregnancy is common and relatively accepted. In most cases where I live these young women are getting a lot of family support. (Private adoption doesn't really exist in this area... I don't live in the United States... so adoption wouldn't cross my mind under normal circumstances.)
When you see a teenage mother every time you go to the grocery store or the mall, you just stop reacting. That might make me a bad person-- maybe I should be more concerned-- but if I don't even know the person, I don't really think much of it.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Kara B
|
1,2,7
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

bop
|
Honestly I don't think of a teenage mother any differently than I do any other mother. I had my son at the age of 19. I wasn't married when I got pregnant, but I did get married while I was pregnant. People in my home town were so judgmental. One day I over heard some people at the local cafe talking about me. One said "I just never thought she'd be the girl to wind up pregnant. I mean her parents are just such good people." The other said "Yeah I know, and it's not as if they don't have enough kids to raise already." I was so angry because they were making it sound like A.) it was my parents fault that I got pregnant, and B.) that I was just going to dump my baby on them. Neither was the case. My sister once said to me,"You know its funny, you went from being the town 'princess' to being that 'poor pregnant girl' as soon as people started finding out you were pregnantt." It was true and very hurtful. After my fiance and I got married, we moved to a different town because I just couldn't take the ridicule any longer. It was another small town, but surprisingly everyone just accepted us as a normal married couple expecting their first child. It was really great. We've lived here for 2 1/2 years now, and recently I found out that everyone here thought I was in my mid 20s. That's why all they "you poor pregnant teenager" looks were never there.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

SoNotTheTypical
|
1,2,7,10
i was a teenage mother . so i know how it is . but i also know it can be done
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

aloha.girl59
 |
Some variation of 1, 2, 7, 10, 12.
I also think that she must have very supportive parents.
And that she must have been strong to decide to parent her child rather than cave in to some of the pressure she might have been subject to over relinquishment.
And that I'm glad that her child won't have to suffer from adoption loss.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Opedial
|
My first thought is always negative. I wish that were not true but it is. I make no thought on what kind of parent she will be, I make no thought on whether she should raising it. I only think, that in this day and age, with all protection available, are kids still getting pregnant?
Then I really don't think about it again.
Now ask me how I fell when I see a 21 year old with six children. Then my thoughts go more negative, and I do think WTF.
I can say however I don't believe people have screwed their lives up by getting pregnant..
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

silkydreamgirl10
|
sometimes i think that they are so young but people think im a 16 year old mother but im 22! so i dont really say anything cuz you dont kno how young the person really is or how good of a mother they are
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP
 |
I have been there.
Mainly, it just brings back memories of the things people said to me, and that I hope no one says to her. I am proud of her, and I hope she has a lot of support, and I hope that people would get off of their high horse and stop judging people because those that do, have NO CLUE!
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

mama t!
 |
every one that you listed actually.. just as its becoming more "socially acceptable" to see interracial couples with children, gay couples with children, and single mothers with children (meaning octo mom), its becoming just as common to see high school girls with babies.
in my opinion, as long as they are taking care of their child, being responsible about being a parent and not dumping their kid off on everyone so they can go "be a teenager" (something they gave up when they gave birth) then i think its just fine. i got pregnant my sr. year of high school, worked 2 jobs to save money and pay my health insurance premiums, bought a house with my fiance 2 months after turning 18, and still graduated with honors. i did become "one of those girls" but im proud to say i made the best of it and having my daugther was the best decision i ever made.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Felicita1
 |
From the sociologist POV:
1. Good for her to be taking responsibility.
2. She's chosen such a hard road, but it's not the end of the world.
7. She's young, but she looks like a good mother.
Recent research has shown that there's no good reason to postpone childbearing, especially postponing it until you can no longer conceive. Nature made women to be their most fertile between the ages of 16 and 26.
Old studies that supposedly proved that teen pregnancy was a crisis were based on biased data with confounding variables (race, culture, social class, etc.). But this supposed "research" fulfilled the right-wing political purposes of the time.
New data proves what people knew up until 50 years ago: teen pregnancy is natural and is NOT a crisis.
Some of my sources listed below.
".. a review of the research evidence finds that the age at which pregnancy occurs has little effect on social outcomes. Many teenage mothers describe how motherhood makes them feel stronger, and marks a change for the better. Many fathers seek to remain connected with their children.” (Duncan, 2007)
"Moreover, we find that teen mothers may actually achieve higher evels of earnings over their adult lives than if they had postponed motherhood. Finally, we find evidence that while teenage childbearing does seem to increase public aid expenditures immediately after a teen birth, this “negative” consequence of teenage childbearing is not a permanent one, in that teen mothers use less public aid in their late 20s as their earnings rise and their children age." (Hotz, McElroy, & Sanders, 1999).
Look at your family trees. My guess is that almost all of your female ancestors prior to 1900 were teen mothers.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

SJM
 |
1. Good for her to be taking responsibility.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Independ"ant"
|
13. Its none of my business. Who am I to judge a girl trying to take responsibility and not asking for my opinion.
14. I hope she has supportive parents and not ones trying to skip out on that part of parenting. Parenting doesn't end with teenage pregnancy.
15. I hope she's involved with a boy that was raised by decent parents that taught him about responsibility and owning up to it.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

MamaKate
|
Dear Kazi,
I've been around long enough to know not to judge people on appearance alone. Especially with so many people who don't look their age - I wouldn't dare guess how old someone is!
I have seen wonderful parents who were 15 and some who were terrible at 35. I've seen terrific parents slathered in ink and dripping with piercings and awful parents in Polo shirts and khakis. I've seen needy families who will stand by one another through thick and thin and rich families who would stab each other in the back in a heartbeat.
I generally reserve my opinion until I know someone more that at a glance. I make my judgments based on HOW someone parents, not on how they look.
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|

Serenity71
|
Walking down the street I don't give it a second thought. A young person can look younger than they really are. And I just see a mother with her child. Beyond that its none of my business.
Since I was with my husband from the time I was 16ys old and married at 19yrs old who am I to judge a young girl like that. I started looking at starting a family by the time I was 21yrs old.
Since I just attended the baby shower of an 18 year old girl who's due to have her baby in three weeks. (A former workmate and friend.)
Well thats says a lot doesn't it. She'll make a great mother and NO ONE has EVER mentioned adoption to her because she's young. (She'll be a great mum, ) Come to think of it I've never over the years heard anyone suggest that to a young expectant mother. People here ASSUME a woman would raise her child these days and NOT give her baby up for adoption. (I get looks of surprise when people find out my kids are adopted, "I didn't think it really happened any more here in Aust. I just figured people could only foster kids these days." It has become more and more part of the culture to think a single mother would raise her child.
So much has changed since the 1970's....so much for the glorious good old days...
Was this answer helpful to you? Yes
/ No
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Questions
List
|
Answers
|
Last Post |
|
|
|
31 |
9 minutes(s) ago |
|
|
|
31 |
35 minutes(s) ago |
|
|
|
31 |
1 hour(s) ago |
|
|
|
31 |
6 hour(s) ago |
|
|
|
31 |
9 hour(s) ago |
|
|
|
31 |
2 day(s) ago |
|
|
|
31 |
3 day(s) ago |
|
|
|
31 |
1 week(s) ago |
|
|
|
31 |
2 month(s) ago |
|
|
|
31 |
6 month(s) ago |
|
|