Im pregnant and my baby is going to be adopted?

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charleys mum	I think that you are very brave in not taking the easy way out (abortion). I also think that when you see your newborn baby there will be so much love in your heart that it will tear you apart to give him/her up for adoption. I do not claim to know what you are going through but if there is any possibilty of keeping your child please dont give him/her away. It is hard to cope but you will get there and the rewards are fantastic. You sound like a very strong person and I am sure you will do the right thing for you and baby. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Bouvier	You are going through a very difficult time in your life, and honestly, one that will effect the rest of your life. My advice to you is to seek some professional help. Counseling is key for you. Also, make sure that if possible, you find out as much information about where your baby is going, who he/she is placed with and consider having an open adoption. There may come a time in your future where you want to contact your child. Think about this long and hard. This is going to be something that he/she will also wonder about as he/she gets older, meaning, thinking about "you", and who you are. I wish you peace. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mommy2squee	One of the best things you can do in your situation is to hire a doula. (professional labor support person) Many doulas will work with you for free or on a sliding scale. A doula's job is to make sure that you have as close as you can come to the experience you want in the hospital. She's not a counselor, she's not employed by the adoptive parents, the lawyer, or the agency. She's there to support YOU, and no one else. If you don't know where to go to find a doula in your area, contact me through my profile, and I will help you locate a doula who will work with you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

areyurflowersinbloom	to be honest i'm not shoked as i wanted to do the same as you# i couldn't in the end many ways i regret but i still have and hold her today i wish you all the luck in the world and surport you in every emotional way i know if i never had the people around me i would have given mine up with no regrets there is always two sides of a story and mixed feelings but only you can decide what is right obviously this is right for you be brave your amazing take care xxxxx Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lauren G	Your ambivilence at this stage of your pregnancy is understandable. Concerning yourself with the opinions of others and their treatment of you is a waste of your energy. You must attempt to separate your emotions from the reality of the situation. You have given no information regarding your geographic locale,age, financial condition, family support structure, education or status of the relationship you had/have with the biological father. All are are factors in your decision. First of all, the act of getting pregnant and delivering a baby does not a mother make. To demean the vital importance adoptive MOTHER'S have played in the raising of children is most demeaning. Can any among us really believe that adoptive mother's such as Sharon Stone, Angelina Jolie, Elizabeth Taylor and Jamie Lee Curtis, to name but a few, aren't real and authentic mothers? I think not. Yes, ideally keeping a biological baby with its biological family is best, but, what if the biological family is exceedingly dysfunctional and abusive? Ideals are just that, not grounded in reality. Is that what is in the best interest of any baby? No. To anyone who has undergone the legal adoption processs, which, reading prior posts clearly they have not, the screening process is most intense, invasive and scrutinizing. So much so that many who enter into the process withdraw. It is not for any of us to judge why someone chooses or needs to adopt. Clearly, if all pregnant women or couples had to undergo the same screening to have a baby that adoptive people have to go through the birth rate would come to a grinding halt. I am married to an adopted person and he was so very loved, pampered and wanted by his adoptive parents. At age 28 my husband came to know his biological father, they are close and genes do matter. But, in hind sight and knowing the situations in play at the time of his conception and birth, my husband sees that his biological mother made the most wonderful choice for him and herself. Also, depending where you live open adoption may be a viable alternative. Don't believe that you are in any way a bad person for surrendering your baby to adoption. Dismiss that. Should you decide to keep your baby, remember, your life will be irrevocably changed and that from the day you deliver the needs and concerns of your baby are what must prevail. I think you should consult with a neutral third party individual who can assist you in making this life altering decision, regardless your choice. FYI: a very dear friend of mine gave a baby up for adoption at age 18, she spent senior year of highschool struggling with deciding to keep or give her baby up. Her parents were supportive of either decision. The babies father's family shuttled him out of the US as he would have been convicted of statutory rape because he had sex with an underage girl when he was 23 and she 17. Anyway, my friend delivered a perfect baby girl that she decided to give up. Why? She told me she looked at such perfection and then looked at the life she'd be able to provide and realized in that moment she didn't matter, the baby did, her baby went on to be adopted by a magnificent couple who have since adopted 2 more times. Babies are always wanted regardless of who is their parents. I wish you a safe delivery and a healthy baby. Good Luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jayden's Mummy	dont worry about it, you are doing the right thing, at least the baby will be in a loving home and im so glad you didnt use the easy way out and abort it. you didnt say your reasons for giving the baby up but it will be the hardest thing in the world for you to do, once you have given birth. be strong and ignore what everyone thinks because it is your decision. i wish you the best of luck in the future xx btw you are such an amazing, extraordinary person for being that brave! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Don84	dont listen to what other people have to say, at the end of the day hun it takes a stronger person to admit that maybe they cannot provide what a baby needs, sounds like you have thought long and hard about your decision, your baby is going to go to a family who want nothing more than to love, care and cherish this child. good luck with the process hunni, you may feel different when the baby is born, there will be lots of people around you who can help make decisions like this a little easier to deal with. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Crucio	I am so sorry you are not getting any support. I’m sure this was already a difficult decision for you and your doing what you feel is best for your baby. Whatever hospital you are at is clearly unprofessionally it is not for them to judge you. Do you have any family or friend who could be supportive? You probably can’t switch hospital but once you have this baby I would find a new hospital to go too. I would even suggested speaking to chief of the hospital, again this shows complete unprofessional from the staff who you have been on contact with. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

jimm58	Please listen to the people who have lived what you are about to give to your child. Your child wants to be with YOU and will not understand why you abandoned him or her. A harsh word, yes, but that is what the child will feel. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

yella_tx_gurl04	it is most definetly a lonely time i just went through a adoption plan i had my son on feb 6th. I was and has been the HARDEST thing ive ever done! I honestly dont go a day without thinking of him! I think of the day I will get to see him again and I pray for him NIGHTLY!! It is just one of those things through the pain of what ur going through and the pain to come you still know this is the best for ur baby! My heart goes out to u if u need to chat plz feel free to email me i truly understand all ur going through!!! Just a couple of tips you can be admitted into the hospital as confidentional patient which means only nessacary pll will be allowed in your room execpt of course who ever u choose to be there! You wont have birth certificate ppl come and just limit ur chance for ppl and the negative thoughts! Truth is you will get as random oppinions in the hospital as u do on here! BUT PLZ DONT SETTLE FOR A NURSE THAT MAKES U FELL LESS THEN!!! Even though we wont walk out there with our babys it is a beautiful time soak it up let ppl and there thoughts be ur last thought!! Dont be scared to ask hospital staff for copys of foot prints pics etc!!!! Just a side note i also was adopted and im SO grateful it was hands down the greatest thing in my life!!! I was given a chance at a normal life with parents who truly unconditionally love me and my little sister! It was a god send! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

miamistar007	have a chat witht he staff that will be hleping you...and the doctor. tell them exactly what you have said to us here. tell them that you are scared to death to give birth and need support from them. they should treat you as if you are any other person giving birth. do you know who is adopting your baby? ask them to come help and support you. i would want to be there if I was adopting your child. it would be almost like giving birth to the baby myself and i would be supportive of you for doing this for me.. think about it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sweety	First off where is the low life that got you in this situation.secondly,if you feel along keep your baby that will keep you company daily.adoption is not the answer,people dont treat your children like you will.i dont care how much money a person have,money can buy wine,and dine.but it cant buy LOVE.some people do things things like adopt because they are finacially able to.but will hurt your child in a heart beat behind close doors.people looks are so decieving until you dont know who to trust these days.rape,and murder on children is the most high crimes for children in this society in this time and age.reconsider what you are doing and saying.you will regret it in the long run.some women make the wrong decision for there children because of a man,bbe a mother and the father.it can happen THINK TWICE.AND WISE. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

snowwillow20	I've been in your shoes, I thought I was doing the right thing too. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sad	You are doing the right thing, as for all of the people especially in the medical field should understand and treat you with compassion and concern, 30years ago friend of mine was 14 and had a baby she was so upset because the nurses gave her a hard time and was mean, she grew up and became a nurse and helps young mothers to work things out and she treats them with caring hands Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

carebear	Use another hospital. If you feel that you are doing he right thing then that is all that matters. You are doing what you feel is best for your baby. Good luck to you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather B	Separating a baby from his/her mother - his entire world - is never 'doing right by him/her'. Sorry. I'm so sad for the little one. I'm certain the majority of people patting you on the back for doing a 'wonderful thing' have never lived with the trauma of losing their mother :( Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lesley S	You are being incredibly brave in your decision. The hospital staff are there to support you, if you feel you are not getting that you are entitled to ask for another nurse/midwife. If you have time before you go to be induced talk to your gp or another healthcare professional you trust. They will be able to advise you on what you can do with regard to changing your planned birth hospital or put you in touch with somebody at the hospital you can talk to about how you are feeling. The staff should not be judging you and you should be treated just as everyone else is. Lots of luck and love. I hope it all goes well for you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Love/Hate	If your going to be induced soon then this may be too late as I don't know how long some things take but maybe you could try going to a different hospital? People should not be judging you for this! I think its amazing that you have the courage to go through with the pregnancy and have it adopted! Many people would just have abortions, and think about what you are doing for a couple who can't have children! I honestly think its amazing! Of course you could talk to the doctors and nurses and tell them how they are making you feel, they are there to help you not judge you! Good luck hun x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cmc	Sorry you're not getting treated well. Basically some people are idiots. My daughter's natural mother went into early labor and went to one hospital - it turned out to be a false alarm, but she was treated so badly she switched to a hospital 40 minutes away for the real delivery. I would ask your social worker if she knows any local hospitals that are more friendly to people in your situation. It is already a difficult decision, and I'm sure you've given it lots of thought, and don't need strangers butting in. Try to bring a close friend or relative to support you and tell off anyone who doesn't treat you properly! I think you're doing a great thing by putting the needs of your baby fist and finding the right home for him/her. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Possum	I'm sorry that you feel so hurt by their reactions. Personally I'm more saddened that you and baby won't be able to stay together. For you to be in this situation that you have to be separated - breaks my heart. I've lived adoption for 39 yrs of my life - and I missed growing up with my mum. Please just make sure that you know what you're getting yourself into - and know your rights - http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf I don't know your story - so that's all I'll say. Don't worry you'll get heaps of people here telling you you're doing a wonderful thing - because many here want to adopt one day - and haven't lived on the other side. I wish you the best. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

T C	Ignore the rotters! I think what you are doing is very,very brave. I wish you all the best. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

galpal	You poor thing, I really feel for you. What you are doing is one of the most selfless acts anyone can do, and if you're sure that it's the right thing to do than you should not let anyone's opinions shake your thoughts on this. It may not be that people aren't treating you well because they don't like what you're doing, they may just not know what to say or how to be around you. They're probably afraid that you'll get upset talking about it. It also greatly limits the things that can be discussed, most people discuss things like baby names, schools, daycare and that kind of thing with pregnant women, but people wouldn't feel like they could discuss these things with you. Be strong, and remember that what you're doing is the right thing... You're going to make a family so happy and give your baby the best life possible, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Andraya	Maybe you should look into some online support groups. Here are a few to look at. http://www.originscanada.org/ http://www.cubirthparents.org/ These are places where you can talk to other women who have been where you are right now. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

M L	Well -- I don't know you -- but my thoughts are prayers are with you. Stay strong, okay? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Here To Help	well for a start that's totally unprofessional of them. my mum gave a child up for adoption many years ago. We never met her yet. But my mother knows she did the right thing. She gave two people a gift, and her child the life she deserved which at the time my mum couldn't provide. It's out of LOVE that you're doing this, remember that. In your heart you know you're doing the right thing, other people who can't understand that are not worth your time and worry okay. Good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sophie H	Stuff them. You know you are doing the right thing. That's all that matters. If it helps I think you are very brave to be doing what you are :) Good Luck x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jennifer L	Is there anyone who can help you through the labor and delivery, who can advocate for you? A friend, mother, sister, aunt, or other support person? As a healthcare worker, I think it is awful that the nurses are treating you badly because of your decision! Nurses are supposed to shelve their personal judgement and treat the person. Good luck to you! ETA: Interesting responses. The questioner didn't ask for input on her decision to adopt, but rather how to deal with hospital personnel that are treating her badly BECAUSE of her decision. Key point here, this lady made her decision. I find the constant secondguessing from people who don't know this person or her situation very interesting. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

5littlemonkeys	Maybe you could bring someone with you to help support you. They should be treating you the same as everyone else. If they don't call them out on it. Good luck. Maybe you will get a nice nurse when you get there. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

blueberry	change hospital you need human care and that hospital doesn't seem to have any Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lori A	Well it's not really nice to see that this behavior hasn't changed. I got the same treatment. Maybe it's a standard proceedure, a shame really. I hope you do know what you are doing. I thought I did. It was a long lonely road to reunion. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

PhilM	I'm not trying to be mean or uncaring, but why is this best for your child? Your child, first and foremost, wants to stay with you. Everything else pales in comparison for the child. The arms of its mother is where s/he wants to be. Don't do anything rash. You don't have to decide this right now. A child is NOT a gift. A child is a human being, not a present, an object, to be given to other people. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No