We adopted twins we need names? |
| we adopted twins a boy and girl please help us with the ... |
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Shouldn't adoptees wait for their birth mothers to find them? |
| Not the other way around. For all you individuals out there who are searching, do you not believe if she wanted to meet you she would have found you to tell you about your roots? Should you not ... |
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I am an adult that was raised in an open adoption situation.? |
| My biological relatives, who I know, did not provide emotional, spiritual or financial support. My adoptive parents provided all of those things. Now that I am older, my biological relatives are ... |
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What kind of sick desperation is this? |
Check out this news story. On an empty stomach. It will make you sick.
http://www.nwcn.com/stat
How ... |
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Why is "birth mother" an offensive term? |
I do not understand. Why is acknowledging something as wonderful as birth offensive to some people? Additional Details ETA: Thank you to those who provided insight into the history and ... |
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Are mothers who give up a baby for adoption "abandoners"? |
What does it mean to be an "abandoner?"
What about the father, grandparents, brothers, sisters, and other family members - are they also abandoners since they did not take in ... |
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A young girl having a baby(her friend needs HELP!!!)? |
| ok well my friend is very young to have a kid and she dosent know wat to do she knows that she cant keep the child but she dosent want to get an oportion but she is scared to give birth... she ... |
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How to tactfully ask my birthmother to stop intruding on my life? |
| I'm an adult adoptee (34 yrs old), and I have been in contact with my birthmother since I was 22. I've known all my life about the details of my adoption, and of my birthparents, and ... |
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Do you believe that birth mothers are idealized and glamorized? |
| I am not saying they are not wonderful individuals I'm sure mine was. However, to read posts on this site one would imagine most birth mothers are the Madonna Incarnate come to save us from our ... |
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Adoption or Raise? |
| okay, since im only 14 and preggo, id like to know what would be easier for the baby, adoption or me raising it, its just kinda hard cause i mean, i know babies take alot of work, and some people end ... |
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He wants to put our baby up for adoption I'm undecided and just don't know what to choose.Whats a girl to do? |
| My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 yrs. He has told me that He doesnt want kids or at least not till He is older...well I'm 2 months pregnant and He wants to give our child up for ... |
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Should I tell my son his natural mother's name? |
| Prelude: I've been reading and responding to questions here. I think I know what most people's answer is going to be. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to do ... |
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Does it bother anyone when bio moms refer to themselves as mother's? |
| They gave birth, but that was just incidental. There wasn't any special skill involved, just a fluke of sperm and egg. Then they went away. Adoptive moms actually get their hands dirty. They are ... |
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So why do white families....? |
adopt ethnic babies?
is it to show people they are not racist or do they like the features of the certian race they adopted from?
I am just curious I am not trying to be racist
T... |
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So I know some may think this is wrong but...? |
If your daughter was <17 and got pregnant would you make her give the baby up for adoption?
I say this because I know I would and I wanted to know if anybody else felt the same.
<... |
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Why do ppl act like it's so easy to just give a child up for adoption after 9 months of carrying?? |
| I understand a lot of people are against abortions b/c i am too...but why do ppl always answer questions with "put the baby up for adoption" like if that is such an easy thing to do?? C... |
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"Why not just adopt?"? |
| I am curious because I have noticed whenever a question has the word "infetile" users suggest adoption. Quite often they say something along the line of "just adopt so many kids need a ... |
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I am 7 weeks andf thining strongly of putting the aby up for adoption? |
Where can i get started Additional Details BTW my keyboard is a piece of **** and i was crying when i was typing ... |
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What do you think of Britney Spears plan to adopt twins from China? |
This has been reported in the news today. Reportedly, she wants to adopt 6 year old twin girls who are currently in an orphanage in China.
Could this really happen?... |
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what the french toast? |
I want to give my baby up for adoption, but my family doesnt want me to?
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my boyfriend and i are VERY young, and not ready for a kid yet. we are both 18, and we have been together for a very long time, like almost 3 years. and im 4 mo. pregnant. we both want to give up the baby. i am close with his family and they dont want us to give up the baby. im scared that if we do his family wont like me anymore, we plan on getting married one day but were not ready fo a child now.
my family also wants me to keep the baby.
how do i deal with this?
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Bear
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Maybe you should ask someone from one of your families to adopt the baby seeing how you're not ready for a child now and your families don't want to give it up. If you're not ready, you definitely should not be having a baby because that would be a mistake.
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Kamunyak
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I think I would seek professional opinions... and not of those who are on yahoo...
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betcha cant do it like me
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one young not too young and you should of thought of that before you laid down and did the deed but u can also have an abortion but i would take your baby! i was 17 when i got prego and made it through school and am now attending college my daughter is 7 so it is possible to be done you have to put your mind to it. children are great my daughter is awesome i couldnt imagine life without her. think about your choices that child is going to go through life without her real parents and if they ever comes and finds out whoyou are theyll hate you for it,
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mrs. derek jeter
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well heres what i think: keep the baby if someone will help you raise it. if no one will help you, then do an open adoption so that you can keep in touch with the child because trust me in 10 years you're going to want to know how your child is doing and where they are and stuff. good luck!
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Nani
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Please go to counseling. This is a big decision. Your family can't make it for you, but maybe they could help you keep the baby by being a big support system. If you can, read The Primal Wound. I am all for adoption, I have adopted children. I am so glad you are giving the baby life. You still have time to make a well thought out decision. I know birth mothers who regret giving their baby up and I also know birth mothers who should have and didn't. All of you need to communicate with a mediator. God bless you. find what will be best for the baby and the baby will be loved.
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Mrs. S
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you didn't consider yourself VERY YOUNG when you made the decision to have sex. now you should face the consequences and raise the baby. you brought it to life and it doesn't have to suffer because of your actions. adoption shouldn't be an option, you'll end up regretting it.
i'm pretty sure both of the families are willing to help out.
my grandmother was also 18 when she put her oldest on adoption and til this very day she regrets it.
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mandita210
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Its your decision of what to do, no one can tell you what to do. But if both of your families want you to keep the baby, that means they are goign to supportive and maybe they can help you and your boyfriend when you need it. You are both young, but you made the decision to have sex. And while you think you are doing the right thing by giving the child up for adoption, you need to take responsibility for the child and find a way to raise the baby. Theres nothing wrong with your families helping. If you give the child up for adoption, you may regret it later in life.
Like I said, its your decision. But you really need to think before you give the baby up.
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thatsme5289
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listen if you and your boyfriend decide you want to give up the baby i think it's your decision you and your boyfriend that made the baby so it should be your decision everyone is at a different pace in life like i'm 19 just got married and were looking to adopt but were ready to you know what i mean so do what feels right to you
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Felicita1
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18 isn't "very young." 17 is the most common age of first births world-wide, with 16 being the most common age of marriage. You are adults, young adults, but adults none-the-less. Who has convinced you that you are too young? To put your age into context, age-related infertility begins around age 27, when women begin to be too old to have babies. Do you really want to wait too long, until you can never have a child of your own?
Many women in their late teens are successful mothers. You are only 4 months pregnant, which means that the hormonal/emotional changes that the rest of pregnancy and birth will make to you have not occurred yet. How you feel right now about your baby can dramatically change once that baby is in your arms. If is doesn't, and once your baby is born if you still don't love or want your baby, then adoption is always an option. But deciding on adoption now, and putting yourself onto the agency treadmill" will ensure that you will find it next to impossible to keep your baby if you decide to once your baby is born. Having those perfect "waiting parents" glowing over "their" baby in the hospital is enough to make any mother feel she has no right to her own baby.
Has anyone told you about the risk of lifelong unresolvable grief and loss, serious depression, PTSD, and other common consequences of surrendering a baby to adoption? Not only you, but also the grandparents of this baby are at risk for these emotional costs, as it can be just as traumatic to them. Marriages and relationships often do not survive the emotional stress.
I don't blame your family for wanting you to keep this baby. They are the baby's family as well. If you really don't want and don't love your baby, how about let a grandparent or aunt or uncle adopt your baby rather than strangers?
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Ruthi
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Think about the baby and how would you feel like if your parents gave you away when you were a baby? I know some people who have done that and they feel horrible about it. The baby hasn't done anything bad to deserve that.He never said he wanted to be born.
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Stephen M
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ok. i dont want to be the one to say this but..
it IS your responsibility...you should've thought about it before you done did it.
i say keep it. nurture it...love it.
imagine you disowned this one... and finally do get married to this boy later on and you have another child. Wouldn't if be unfair for your child not to now his/her own brother or sister?
it needs a mother.
that mother is you.
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JayJay
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i like many women can not have children and its hard hearing that someone wants to give up a baby but i do understand all sides of this but think of that beautiful baby growing inside you would a family member take it on would you want them to, a baby is not a two weeks wonder if you keep it you have the next 16+ years of caring for it what are your family's suggesting have you asked them what does your boyfriend really think i really think you need to sit down and talk to your family's let them know how you feel and listen to their views and maybe get some professional help and find out your options but please think of that little baby, adoption is not always best for baby
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anastasia beaverhausen-the real1
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give the kid to your family member who offered to raise it.
nothing sucks more than losing your family to adoption.
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☆Jacks Mommy☆
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Give the baby up for adoption to a family who can't conceive, that is the greatest gift of all. I know there are so many wonderful families who can't have children.
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the 1 n only...me
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YOU MADE THE ADULT DECISION TO HAVE SEX....NOW FACE YOUR CONSEQUENCES AND KEEP THE BABY. LATER ON IN LIFE YOU WILL REGRET IT...I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WILL.....
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Theresa
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Please keep your baby. Your baby needs you. Your baby also needs his or her father, and his or her grandparents. Your family sounds supportive.
Please read these site over:
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://www.birthmothers.info/
http://www.exiledmothers.com/open_adoption/index.html
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winnie
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When it comes down to it, you both need to do what you feel is best for your lives. You sound like you've already made your decision, and it is a brave and generous one. Hopefully his family, and yours, will come to understand in time that you both felt this was for the best. Good luck to you!
Edit: I'm finding it very interesting that people are thumbs downing those of us who are being positive towards your decision. The irony is that these are likely the same people who are anit-abortion and would probably tell you to keep the baby and give it up for adoption, if you were considering abortion. Now that you've decided to put your baby up for adoption, it's not good enough, they want you to keep the baby, whether it's best for you or not. The fact is, while 'worldwide' you may not be considered young for a mother, here in the states, you are, your life is just beginning, and if you've decided that adoption is the right choice for you, then don't listen to people who are so rigid in their beliefs. I did not tell you to give your baby up, I simply said that if that's the decision you and your boyfriend make, then hopefully your families will come to terms with it. Regardless of all the negative people and the ones who would pressure you one way or another, I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide, just remember that the decision is yours and your boyfriend's, and nobody else's.
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mary k
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let your parents adopt the baby. then at least the baby will be in the family.
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tiffany
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If you and your boyfriend aren't ready, then it doesn't matter what everyone else wants you to do. You two would be the child's parents, and it would be a disservice to the child to keep the baby and not be ready or even really want it. Relying on family for support might be possible, but if you aren't ready, this is not the best situation for a child to grow up in. Think about how you are affecting the child, and don't forget that keeping it would drastically change your life forever. You need to accept and be okay with that if you want to keep the baby.
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angel here
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i couldn't tell you what to do as that's not fair but before you do any think, think about it i no you have already but just really think hard.
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Hannah™
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Please keep the baby! You're at a pretty good age to raise a baby. My older sister is a little older than you and her baby is 10 months old. The baby barely wakes up in the middle of the night. It will be the right thing if you kept your baby. And you would probably regret it one day if you give it up for adoption. And maybe, just maybe, when your baby gets much older, it will want to come looking for you. So I'm just saying you should keep your baby and please don't give it up for adoption.
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lovebug
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ultimately you should realize that this is your decision..if you feel you cannot provide properly for the child for whatever reason, you should consider adoption. Although there are other alternatives. Perhaps one of your family members would be interested in fostering/caring for your child. If you plan on marrying one day you may regret giving up your child to a stranger, unless you go for an open adoption. whatever path you choose good luck with it!
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The K!LLER Anna
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you give the baby up for adoption- there are plenty of parents who are older than you that can't conceive that would love to have a child "of their own."
it's not their baby to give up. it's you and your boyfriend's, and you both agree to give it up. remember, they won't be raising the kid and taking care of it, and trying to deal with all the hardships that come with being a parent at the age of 18. please, just give the baby up. you have the rest of your life to have a child, why start now? and if they love you, they'll respect your decision.
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Sweet Luvv
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Well, if they want you to keep the baby they probably are very willing to help you raise the child. I mean you have your bf there and both sets of parents...that's great! Most young pregnant teens don't have that kind of support. And I'm pretty sure the sweet thing is gonna grow up and wonder where's mommy. Just reconsider it, you have the support. And I applaud you for giving the baby a chance to live.
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snowwillow20
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Perhaps since the grandparents don't want you give it up, maybe one set is willing to raise it. It sounds like your whole extended family's are willing to help you out, please take the help.
You will regret giving your baby up.
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kayla s
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well maybe you should ask them if they have any other ideas about what to do with the baby maybe they can watch over him or her while you are at work/school... if u go
if u get him/her up you might regret it after all you 2 made it
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Jennifer L
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This is something that you and your boyfriend need to decide, with input from your parents. I don't know your family or your situation, so I'm not going to tell you to parent your child or to place your child for adoption.
I will say that you don't have to make any decision until after the child is born. There is no rush, don't feel like you have to plan everything out when you still have 5 months to go.
Please research all of your options carefully and understand your rights. Be sure that you make an informed decision.
Good luck.
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mickey
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You can always have a baby when you finish school settle down, and are financially secure. There are alot of people out there that cannot have babies of there own. I think you are right to put the baby up for adoption.
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sjs786
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hmm - its real dilemma. A child takes up a LOT of time, effort and money. Do you think perhaps the grandparents can raise the child while you and your boyfrd settle yourselves down.
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brittybabey00
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well i mean it is ur choice but also i think that since both families want u to keep the baby i think that they would help support u guys and help with the baby.
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Ariana
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Look Im a mom myself of two beautiful children and I can tell you they're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I feel so blessed for having them. However I also know they're the hardest job ever!!! It's not easy being a parent, it's a lot of work.
You know, you're 18 so you're legally an adult, so you can make your own decisions. I think families dont really think how hard it'll be for you to raise the baby, and it is not their job to do it for you. You and your boyfriend will be the parents for life!
You're not doing anything wrong, by giving this baby up for adoption if you're not ready. It's a wonderful thing you can do for other couples who are ready but cannot get pregnant. I think in the end, it's a decision that you and your boyfriend must make ALONE. You need to tell your family and his about your decision and the reasoning behind it. But as a decision already made, his family has nothing to do with all this, and they'll still like you after this, it's going to be tough for them, as well. But I am very glad you didnt choose abortion, so that is something you can tell them.
You can say to them, that you are 18 and are not ready in any shape or form to look after a baby, that it takes a life commitment you're not willing to make at this point. That (Im sure you do) you have dreams and hopes for your future and that you want to give your child the best, a good seady home, with ready parents and financially stable parents. That you'll be the parent not them and they cant raise this baby by themselves or for you.
I wish you the best of Luck!
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