I have been told that I will never be able to have kids. Does adoption make you less of a mother?

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mom	no not at all, and neither does putting Ur baby up for adoption! a true parent is some one who will do what they believe is best for the child no matter what even if it means giving their baby to some one like that is a mother with out a child that can and will do their best to make sure the baby grows up feeling loved and has everything it needs in life to be a successful person! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Susan B	ABSOLUTELY NOT....IT IS ADMIRABLE THAT ONE WOULD ADOBT A CHILD AND CARE FOR THEM!!!! I was also told I could not have children and I have a 2 year old and am 39 weeks with our last one. Don't ever discount yourself as a mother whichever way you go!!!! Best of luck to you and God Bless YOU!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Will of Bath	No- I think to 'mother' is very different to simply 'birth' a child. Mothering is a skill, birthing simply an act. I think adoptive parents are wonderful people and good on them for having enough love to share to the less fortunate. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dharma	Are you crazy!!!! LESS?!?!?!?! of a mother. NOT A CHANCE!!!!!!!!!! Try more of a human being. I think this says it all: Once there were two women who never knew each other - one you do not remember; the other you call Mother. Two different lives shaped to make you one - one became your guiding star; the other became your sun. The first one gave you life and the second taught you to live it - the first gave you a need for love; the second was there to give it. One gave you a nationality; the other gave you a name. One gave you a talent; the other gave you aim. One gave you emotions; the other calmed your fears. One saw your first sweet smile; the other dried your tears. One sought for you a home that she could not provide; the other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied. And now you ask me through your tears the age-old question unanswered through the years: Heredity or environment - which are you a product of? Neither, my darling. Neither. Just two different kinds of love! Don't ever, every think that because you cannot give birth to a child that you are a lesser woman or mother!!!!!!!!!!!! To quote another poem: Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart but in it. God Bless You for giving a child a chance by adopting. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kelsey-mommy to be!!!	no way! adoption is a beautiful thing. my little brother is adopted and is one of the best things that has happened in our life (he is biologically my half cousin) my mother is a blessed woman for all of her kids. if you adopt children you are an amazing person for having all this love you are willing to share, my step dad adopted me and i def. DO NOT feel he is any less of a parent. infact, he has done so much more than my real father could. DO NOT ever think you are any less of a parent just because you are adopting. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

†Lawrence R†	Not hardly. I don't feel any less of a father because my 3 children are adopted. I can say all kinds of platitudes to address your question. The simple matter is that, as the child knits itself to your heart, the adoption part becomes less and less of a point with you. I know how each of my children smell. I can tell, just from a glance, when they are upset. I angst over them, just as any biological father would. Once, when our family was at a local flea market, I had to "get in the face" of one of my sons, who was acting uncooperative. My wife overheard an onlooker say, "He wouldn't do that if that was his biological son." How ridiculous! As to how others feel, they speak from a position of ignorance. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Julie R	A woman is a different kind of mother when she adopts. She cannot replace the child's natural mother, nor can a child replace the one(s) she can never have, but she is a mother once that child is in her care. Most adoptive parents love their adopted children and, of those who also have bio kids, profess to love them just as much. But adopted kids have a harder time receiving and accepting that love than bio kids do, because most of them have a somatic, subconscious memory of having been abandoned (even if that was not the case by adult standards). A woman who raises another woman's child with compassion and empathy, who respects the child as her fellow human being, honors and respects the child's first mother and family, and the child's unique nature is special indeed. It's much harder to mother adopted children successfully than it is to mother one's biological children. A mother who surrenders her child for adoption is also not less of a mother. Although she may not be raising her child, she never stops being her child's mother - either biologically or psychologically. Even bad mothers who lose their children to adoption are still mothers - not good mothers, but mothers just the same. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Fardreamer	no you are just as much a mother as any woman who gives birth to a child. in my opinion being a mother is kissing scraped knees and reading bedtime stories. its packing school lunches and driving him to little league practices. being a mother is so much more then just blood, it love. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Leaanne	No it does not, if anything you are more of a mother for taking on a child of somebody elses loving it and supporting it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

christina j	no it does not it makes you more of a mother, and adoptions does not make you less of a parent at all , having a child whether adopting or having one makes you a parent but the love you will give and show that child is endless and that is what makes you a mother!!!!! Dont worry about what people think , just stay focused on what you want and when you adopt your child i bet the those people will come around and tell you how good of a mother you are regaurdless of what they said or thought before , i hope this helps Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

•°o Poker Girl •°o	NO NO NO NO, I think its makes you more of parent. I think its great to do that. I opened the idea of adoption to my husband but he wants us to have one of our own first then we are going to look into adoption. My sis is actually going thru the process right now. Its a long process so you get started now. It looks like she is going to get a new baby girl and her brother who 1 year old. She didn't want them to be split up. And she choosing to have a closed adoption. Due to the mother of the children she has a lot of issues. Good For you Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

b k	MY HUBBY AND I WEREN'T ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN OF OUR OWN. WE CHOSE ADOPTION. THE BEST DECISION WE HAVE EVER MADE. WE ADOPTED OUT OF FOSTER CARE IN MISSOURI. MY CHILDREN WERE 3 AND 13 MTHS OLD WHEN THEY CAME TO LIVE WITH US. THEY WERE 5 AND 3 WHEN THE ADOPTION WAS FINALIZED. SO WE THINK YOUR MORE OF A PARENT IF YOU ADOPT BECAUSE YOU ARE HELPING CHILDREN THAT DON'T HAVE PARENTS A HOME AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. ANYONE CAN BE A MOTHER OR FATHER BUT IT TAKES A REAL MAN OR WOMAN TO BE A MOMMY AND A DADDY!!!!!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

justme	No adoption does not make you less of a mother is makes you a mother, plain and simple. If you do read Nancy Varrier 's book the primal wound remember that the book is her opinion and not fact, she does not speak for every adoptee or birthmother. So if you read her book and I suggest you do so that you can have a well rounded adoption education I would make sure you read others as well and not take everything she says as the God's honest truth. Good Luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mom of 2	Adoption makes you the same as every other mother. Go for it! It's the greatest feeling, being a mother. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

slash.goddess	honey anyone can be a mother but it takes someone to be a mommy, im adopted and i think of my adoption mother as my real mom, because ive been with her since i was 3 days old. i call her mommy and everything, Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

In Luv w/ 2 B, 1 G + 1	I think that people suck if they even caused that stupid thought to enter your brain. Put it out of your head and be a mom - adopt a baby! God bless! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

punxy_girl	Well, I am in the particular situation of being both an adoptive and biological mother and I can honestly say that I love all my children equally. There are some different responsibilities and issues that go along with being an adoptive mother but there are no less feelings of love, protectiveness, and desire for the child to be happy. Please be very informed before adopting. Read as much as you can and talk with other adoptive parents and adoptees about the right way to do things. I'm an advocate of open adoption. While it sounds scary, most of the time it is better for the child. Also, adoptive parents who participate in open adoptions usually feel MORE secure in their relationship with their adopted child than those who did not. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

☆ღWifey Wifeyღ☆	Absolutely not!!!!! I have friends that adopted kids and they are absolutely great parents and I don't think anything less of them at all! And the freaky thing is, they adopted two kids, which are biological brother and sister and they look EXACTLY like their adoptive parents! People can't tell unless they tell them they're adopted. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Irish Sean	If you're an adoptive parent, you're tops in my books. Only someone with extremely narrow views would consider you less of a parent. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

concerned	Adoptive parents and biological parents are all real parents. Neither is better than the other. Neither is more "real." Neither is "more of" a parent than another. Period. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Joy M	Less of a mother than what? I don't know, different maybe, it is different than having your own child and rearing your own child, it comes with a lot of difficulties that just don't exist in natural families. If I were going to do it, I would make sure I had a lot of support and I would adopt an older child who wanted to be adopted. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

VILAS S	No certainly not. In fact I would appreciate if people stop conceiving and start adopting the orphan children. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

C S	Of course you are no less a parent. All anyone can ask is that you do the best you can and don't give up. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

#2 in the oven	Absolutely not. I can't speak for myself but my sister adopted almost a year ago from China since she couldn't have one naturally. I have a 5 month old and think that both of us love our children the same. When a child needs a home it doesn't matter where the mother comes from, just that you do everything you can to be a good mom. People will have their own opinions on this but you need to do what is right for Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Just Me	ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I can't even imagine someone would think that, let alone say it out loud! I admire people who adopt, and they are 100% as much of a parent as anyone who has biological children. Good luck with adopting, go for it!!!!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

hev	I myself could not have children so went through adoption got blessed with two brothers one at 23 months and the other at 3 months 8years on i feel as hole as a mother as any parents feels and would die for my children they just become part of you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Elizabeth	The only opinion that really matters on this issue is the opinion your potential adopted child. Personally, I "divorced" myself from my adopters. I know plenty of others who have done the same. So yes in MY situation my adopters were not my parents. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cowboy_fan	Absolutely not. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tish	adopting does not make you less of a mother--just a mother by a different means. similar to a step-parent who raised a child from a young age. as for the poster who called "birth an act" it's clear that this person didn't go through pregnancy, 13+ hours of labor, a delivery and 2-3 months of healing. to marginalize childbirth is as insensitive as someone suggesting that adoptive parents are lesser parents. bith is indeed NOT merely an "act", yet a process of physical sacrifice and love. it would be nice if we could get past the "how" we become parents and focus more on being the best parents for the kids who need us... to the poster: good luck on your adoption journey. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Erin L	You are absolutely not less of a mother! I can't even express how much I love my daughter. I will say, however, you do have to parent an adopted child differently. There are losses involved with adoption, attachment needs, identity issues. All of these will be things you have to acknowledge and help your child deal with. You also have to acknowledge that, while you are every bit as much of a parent, your child has other parents who created his or her life. It will be important for your child that you respect and acknowledge of the importance of his or her first parents. Good Luck, adoption may be a "second choice" but it is not a "second best" choice. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sdselt	HELL NO Adoption does not make you less of anything - if you ask me, it makes you MORE Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No