I dont know if I'll ever be okay...I gave my baby up for adoption?

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xxlucky7xx	I wish i could say it get easier but it doesn 't. I placed my daughter up 4 yrs ago and its very hard. You should express to the adoptive family you need time with him before he goes. You made a wonderful decision and your son will admire you for that. God bless. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Linny	You obviously want what's best for your child. I admire your honesty and courage. While no one can guarantee that everything will be okay, I think you'll feel better over time. Don't rush the grieving process. Take all the time you need to start feeling better. And please don't feel guilty about your decision. You did the right thing. Good Luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

capricorn dancer♥	I was adopted though back in the late 60's was closed adoption and now i am trying to locate my birth mum,having problems as my name was changed etc... I think you are an angel for being so selfless to give up your baby for him to have a life with a family. I hope you will able to maintain an open relationship with the family,you have every right to change your mind,nothing is set in concrete. Write your son a letter explaining why you had him adopted and ask the adoptive parents to give to him when he is at an age when he will understand your dilemma.You are AMAZING♥ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

AdoreHim	I am adopted and also have adopted children, so I am very pro-adoption, obviously- however it seems that you are realizing that you may be able to raise your child. I don't think that it is too late to change your mind, even though this will be upsetting to the couple. If you really feel that you raising your child would be best for the child, I would make plans to do that, NOW- don't wait weeks or months. Once you meet the couple you may realize that they are the right ones to raise your child, but as I said before, you still have a chance to change your mind, but make sure you are changing the mind because you feel it is best for your child, and you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

naughty girl	When I gave my girls up for adoption I felt the same way. I knew I made the best decision for them but at the same time I was sick of everyone trying to tell me that everything was going was going to be ok. At the time I really felt like it wasn't ever going to be ok again. I was really resentful and angry for awhile. Then I realized that I wasn't mature enough to deal with my girls, I was 17 about to graduate and had a full ride scholarship. I had all these wonderful things going for me and I really had a difficult time deciding between being broke and a single mom on welfare in night school trying to get my ged, or give them a two parent home, and go and do what I needed to do. Most difficult decision I ever made. It was hard, but over time it became much easier. I'm sorry, and I hope you feel better. It will get easier, give it time. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009	I am a birth mom and an adoptee. I'm happy, loved, well-adjusted and complete. BUT if you are having doubts of ANY KIND...go and get your son and raise him. He is YOURS. I did what was right for ME..YOU go and do what is right for YOU and YOUR CHILD not what you feel is right for the other couple or what others tellyou is the right thing to do!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mida511	I personally think you need to t hink this over, yes you are doing an amazing thing and yes they will be thankful, but if you are thinking like that then I think you should reconsider your options throughly. I can tell you it is the hardest thing in the world but also the most unselfish, deserving thing you can do as well. But it really does help when you have confidence that your baby will be okay and that you have chosen the right people to look after your son. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

SeekingSerenity	I am adopted. 23 yrs old was adopted at 5 from an orphanage. I've in my adult years reunited with siblings and mother. in my case I was better off being adopted than being raised with my bioloical mom who was a drug addict and conceived me in prison. but thats my story. if you're doing this because of money or being scared or your parents. keep that baby. it will work out in the end. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Amy J	Why did you give your baby up for adoption in the first place??? You will be just as good a parent as they can be. Sounds like you were bribed or brain washed when you made your decision. I will pray you can still get him back. I wish you the best! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ezmee1859	A year ago my daughter and I went through the same thing. My daughter has three other children, but it doesn't make it any easier. She has a open adoption, but I don't think we will be in my grandsons life until he is older, and he can understand. My daughter gets pictures every month and phone calls too. I know it has gotten easier for her. But the pain never really goes away. What gets me through the loneliness, is the thought that my grandson will have a wonderful life, and he is loved. I hope you have an open adoption. If you do stick with it, and be as involved as you can. It is painful at first, but it does get easier. God bless you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Crucio	That is too bad. I would check with your attorney it may not be too late to reclaim your baby. This is right that birthparents have there is almost always a reclaim period sometimes it can be as short as 2 days other times it can be a lot longer like 6months was the reclaim period my cousins birthmom had to get him back if she had wanted. Its also a risk that PAP take even more when they are adopting a baby from an expecting mother. If you want your son back do not feel ashamed , the PAP will be crushed but in most cases they will just be matched with another baby or expecting mother. If its too late for you to reclaim him then all i can say is get thearpy. You might even ask the AP if they would willing give him back to you even if your reclaim period is over. I am afraid there is no reassurance that everything will be ok, the only thing in our world that is guaranteed is death. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Snowdog	I don't know your situation, but I suggest you bring in family and/or professional help in order to get through this. I am male, so I can't relate, although I can imagine what a horrible position you are in. I know it's too late legally, but maybe the adopting family could help with counseling costs. It's not a shame to seek this type of assistance, you need someone available to you as you handle this situation. My heart goes out to you and I sincerely hope your emotional recovery is a quick as possible. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1	you will NEVER get over this. you shouldn't! you're a human being who has maternal instincts. your son needs YOU. get your baby back now, before it's too late. don't let anyone coerce you or make you feel guilty., please get your baby back. being adopted SUCKS. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

myst1998	Oh Honey... hate to say this but you won't ever be okay again. Sure, you will learn to live with this wound, you will get up every day and get through each day but you will never ever be the same again. I know this sounds depressing but I don't want to sugar coat things and tell you everything will be okay when it won't. You will learn to smile again, you will learn to laugh again (maybe) but you are going to need to take some serious time for yourself as what you are going through and about to go through will be some fairly dark days. Surround yourself with people who care and support you, you are going to need all the support you can get. If you want to keep your baby, then GET HIM BACK. Fight with everything in you to get your son back, YOU are his Mama, not some stranger and he needs YOU. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Kazi	I'm so sorry for your pain. I want to tread lightly as I know you are in pain and have your reasons for choosing to place your child for adoption, but I must ask, are you sure you want to do this? There are many resources available to you to help you keep your baby. Planned Parenthood could let you know what they are. Please don't think I'm judging you. I am an adoptive mom, so obviously I have never walked in your shoes. It just sounds like you want to raise your baby. Good luck!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mia's mum	i cant tell you it will be ok, and it doesn't really get any easier, ( sorry) my advice is that if you are having second thoughts then im pretty sure you still have time to change your mind. if you want to be with your child, then be with him. its been 3 yrs now since i gave my daughter to strangers, and in the last few weeks i have been regretting it so very much. if i could go back and get her right now i would. i guess my advice to you is that if you aren't sure then DO NOT go through with it. just take some time with just you and your son. (he is STILL your son,) and decide if this is what you really want, make sure your 100% sure before you make your final decision. good luck sweetheart, and i hope you do whats best for you, not what you think is best for the family who will be taking your child. YOU OWE THEM NOTHING. please don't let them make you feel guilty if you change your mind. good luck with everything Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Camira B	I agree with the posters that say to revoke your consent. If you can tell me which state you're in, I can tell you almost exactly what you need to do legally. The posters are right though. If you get that baby in your arms, do NOT let anyone take him. Don't listen to any of the empty threats or guilt trips. That's your baby and you obviously love him very much. You can raise him. He deserves to be with you, his mom. Do it before it's too late. I've been in court for over 7 months now to get my son back. It's not fun. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP	Honey, don't walk, RUN to your YOUR son, if you are at all regretting this then go get your child!!!!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Stinky Pete	Please go get your baby. If you need help revoking consent email me. This does not get better. In many cases it gets worse Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Secretsong	I think you should do what your heart tells you to do. Don't put your circumstances, financial, emotional, physical, mental into consideration. If you have enough love in your heart for that child. Than that is all you need. You will always be wondering what if, how is he, I wonder if he will think of me. The answer is yes. Adopted children- unless their parents are tragically killed, or unfit to raise them. They will always feel like they don't belong. That there's a piece of them missing. My mum was 17 when she fell pregnant with my older sister, she was raised in a catholic household and told that she would have the baby and adopt it out. She changed her mind at the very last second. And it was the best decision she ever made. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sunny	Do whatever it takes to get your baby back. My mother is 67, and is still not 'okay' even though we have been in reunion for over 20 yrs. This is one of those times in life where you need to LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. They can get another baby--this one is YOURS. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tish	-it's not hormones; it's not normal, nor will it get easier. -go get your baby! EOM ETA: (had to go to my desktop and type this--my thumbs couldn't type that fast on my blackberry.) ok, the very fact that you are even posting this question is an indication that you are not sold on this adoption. you are not expected to breed and birth a child for ANYONE! next, women are SUPPOSED to feel emotional and an overwhelming emptiness for their children when they are taken away. as much as we attempt to sell this social experiment called "newborn adoption" we can not ignore the powerful drive of a mother who wants her child. many will try to tell you that you are "selfless, brave.." for giving up your baby; and a "horrible woman" for wanting to parent. you want your child because that's what HAPPENS! every try to touch a newborn kitten? what doesn that mother do? same difference. but...many who have never been in your shoes will NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT; and will try to sell the "you'll get over it" crap. and i totally understand why you are not interested in their "thanks..": their happiness is due to your pain. i made an adoption plan. i changed my mind. i was told that i couldn't change my mind, that i would be reported to CYS, that i was causing the adoptive mother a pain worse than death (personally, i was very offended that my desire to parent MY SON was equated to death!) i delivered my son, went home, and avoided them like the plague even though they hounded me. bottom line, you owe NOBODY your flesh and blood. i don't give a damn how many years they have been trying to have a kid. these people want A KID you want YOUR KID!!! tomorrow, go hold your child, and tell them, "I've changed my mind. I have decided that I wish to keep and nurture my child." and WALK. OUT. THE. DOOR! don't return any calls, don't speak with the adoption agency. please email me. i'm up late tonight grading papers and will be at my computer. peace- tish Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lori A	I wish I could tell you that everything is going to be all right. It will be for them. You are going to have to find ways to cope with your loss. If you don't want to meet your sons new parents you don't have to, but it might be easier for you to be able to put a face to them. that is something only you can decide. I understand not wanting to hear how thankful they are, how are you suposed to respond to that. All I can say is that you can live through it. ETA: What I meant to say is you can live through it but it will not be easy, as you all ready know. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Penny A (Vanessa)	I recall feeling completely gutted with overwhelming feelings of despair, sadness, guilt and loss. These feelings will get better over time but it does take a while. For me personally, those feelings are still around, but I can only speak for myself, as each person deals with things differently. Seriously, if you really think you can't go through with this - don't do it. Do not worry about how the adoptive parents will react if you change your mind - you and baby come first. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kristysearching	YOU STILL HAVE TIME!!!!!!! You CAN change your mind, HE IS STILL YOUR SON... Don't let anyone believe you cannot change your mind at this point. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LaraSue	Revoke your consent and keep your son. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Freckle Face	Meet them tomorrow and hold your son. At that time, tell them you have changed your mind! Do NOT let your son out of your arms. Do NOT let them take him. Bring your mother or the baby's father or a friend for support. Hold your son and do NOT let him go. *bring an infant car seat. my thoughts and prayer are with you. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

snowwillow20	You still have time to claim your son. It's not too late. Don't be like me and wait 30 years to find your child. Years of wondering, it makes for a hard life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gershom	revoke your consent to the adoption and take him back. I'm not joking at all. From what I hear, its not going to be okay. When I met my mother for the first time 21 years after she surrendered me I was at a party with my uncles, cousins families etc. My cousin came up to me ( who is her age ) and said, the day your mother lost you, she died. I knew before talking to her when she was running to me at work ( they work together ) that you had found her, because the life was in her eyes again. If you can make it work for your son and you, DO IT. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

IDK!!	Oh honey, if it's not right, it's not right. I knew when I met my son that I could lose him, and If I didn't lose him, then someone else (his mother) would. You don't owe anyone anything. What's worse, losing a child you carried for 9 months and will forever miss, or losing a child after 3 days, back to a mother who truely wants him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

rachael	i am not a relinquishing mother. but i am an adoptee. in fact-i am Lori A (above) daughter that she relinquished. even though i had a wonderful life-better than she could have imagined-i dont believe she ever fully recovered. she had VERY good reason to give me up-and for us it WAS the right choice. honestly-it was the only choice-for my safety. (very long story, not the time for it.) i don't know your circumstances, what has driven you to make this choice, where you are in your life, but i can plainly see you are not at ease with this. you need to re-evaluate what is going to happen tomorrow. think long and hard, there is time. i will not tell you to keep him, i will not tell you any flowery stories of a 'successful' adoption like mine. i will tell you that if you are having such doubts then you need to really think about if this is the right choice. lori was 16 and relinquished. i was 17 and kept my baby. both of us have hard heartwrenching stories. but we both survived. bruised, yes, but we made it. whatever you decide, i wish you peace. i hope you can come to a place in your mind where you feel some amount of peace with your decision. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No