How do you tell a child they're adopted?

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Hayley	sorry to hear that.since shes 6 years old that's a hard one i think you should do what you think is best for you and your family.again since she is 6 i would hold off till shes older that's alot for a little girl to know and not understand Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

summerstarz	I think she might be a little young to know this. You should maybe say some thing like its too complicated and I'll tell you when your 16 or something like that. You do not want to break a six year old's heart. If she wants a brother be like, but I love only you. If you really want to tell her. Sit her down and tell her she's adopted, and show her the papers she might cry,be upset or look at you differently, but atleast she knows. Just try to comfort her when you break the truth to her. Seriously, I think you should tell her this when she's older; or old enough to know. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Chelsea D	Well you sit her down, Then you start going honey something is wrong with mommy so she can not have kids and i love you will all of my heart and i really do not know how to tell you this but one day i went to a orphanage and i was looking at some kids and you were the first one who caught my eye from the moment i met you i knew i loved you and you were the one to adopt and tell her that you think of her as your very own child and you could never imagine living with out her.. hope this helped :) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sharon	I have 2 adopted childern, which are grown now, but I will never forget I took my son to see the doctor and he asked some health history questions. I sent my son outside and I told the doctor that he was adopted and he didn't know. My doctor said that I was to tell him right away and that there was a book I could get at the library called the chosen child. It was wonderful I set them both down at that time my son was 6 and my daughter 3 and read the story to them, that they are special because they were chosen. Good luck and just telling him he is special and that you love him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Hope	Talk to a therapist/psychologist. They can give you best advice and directions on how to handle such cases since it's a very sensitive case especially to kids at this age. People here may give you some advice but I won't rely on them for such issue. Good Luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Philippa	You should be honest with her ... that's not meant to be a harsh answer, just wondering why she doesn't already know. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

GO ELKS!!!	Just tell her like hey honey I really think it is time for you to know I am not your real mother then on and on. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

shawn	what you just said sounds good, explain to her that some moms cannot have children of there own, and so they have to find moms that can have babies but are unable to take care of them (whatever) so they give them to mommies like you so that they can still have a wonderful life. the sooner you tell her the easier it will be, I was in similar situation, not adopted, but had different dad, and found out at 16 from my baby sister, I was hurt that my parents never told me and (it seemed to me) the rest of the world new except me! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ashton Hope	You should have told her a long time ago. I'm adopted, and my parents told me as far back as I can remember. The way you should go about it, even though you're a little late, is by telling her that "Mommy couldn't have babies, so God put you in someone elses tummy for us." Thats how my parents told me when i was about 1 and a half, and as I got older and asked more technical questions, they told me. ALWAYS BE HONEST WITH YOUR CHILD. If they ask a question about their adoption, tell them the truth. Dont try to 'tell them when their older'. This will only make them resent you later in life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Rachel	I'm adopted, and my parents never had to have the 'adopted' talk with me. They always told me the story about how I was born, and how they picked me up at the hospital. I don't think your daughter will be too upset if you tell her. Just be HONEST! Tell her how much you love her, and that she's extra special because you got to pick her out :) You could even explain why you chose adoption in the first place. Tell her that she can see her birth parents if she wants (if it's an open adoption) or that she can't see them until she's older (if it's a closed adoption like mine). She'll probably ask questions about them, so be ready with that information. Just make sure you tell her now, before she gets any older. This information usually gets harder to hear as you get older :( I hope I helped, and congratulations on adopting! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

soccer_girl190	That is hard thing for a child of any age to hear. Try explaining the problem you have (about not being able to have children) in the best way you can to a six year old. Tell her the story of you adopting her and she will hopefully understand. She might be upset for a few days but she will get over it quickly. I understand that this must be very, very difficult and I wish you the very best of luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mom to Foster Children	She is 6 years old and you haven't told her yet? Well don't tell her that she was special and chosen - I mean what is special about a child who lost their mommy and daddy. I would start out slow - maybe get a book or two about the different types of families - let her ask questions - be honest - she deserves to know her story of her life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

dreamdragon1313	Well i think the best advice is the find a child psychologist as they can tell you the best way to tell your daughter... look one up in the phone book and explain it to him/her I am sure there is one that would be willing to help you for free with this... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ezekiel 33:2-9	You must tell her now. If you wait, it will be much more difficult to explain to her. Also, your daughter may take it wrongly if you wait till later. It's important to chose the right setting when you tell her. During a quiet time, when nothing else is getting her attention, you can hold her hands, look in her eyes, and tell her you love her very much, and that she is your little girl. The rest is all going to come from you heart after that. How do I know? I adopted a 2 yr old boy, and a 5 yr old girl. May every blessing be yours. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

yasminadana	wow, well just tell your girl the truth, and tell her that even though shes adopted you still love her. And if she acts about her real mother tell her the truth even though shes young it doesn't mean she has to live a lie. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥ r-PaTz ♥	My mom told me I was adopted when I was 7. I think 6 and a half is pretty close though. She and my dad just told me how much they love me and that they aren't my "real" parents. That my real mommy and daddy couldn't tale care of me because they're "away" but that they still love me too and I don't need to worry because my adoptive parents will always be my parents no matter what and that I'm a lucky girl to have such wonderful parents that were willing to give me a better life. as I got older I understood more and one day I hope to meet my biological mother so i could thank her for doing the right thing. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Possum	You should have told her from day 1 - it's her truth - not yours to keep. Stop asking an internet space - get professional help - and tell her her truth. The longer you leave it - the worse it will be. You have kept stuff from her - which implies that it's a secret - that it's wrong - that it's taboo. Secrets and lies are just bad news in families - especially for adoptees. Get it all out - and tell her now. You obviously have a problem with it - or you would have told her by now. Seriously - you need to talk to someone about that also. I had an adoptive mother that made it very clear that I wasn't allowed to talk about my adoption - and I've had to have many many years of therapy later because of it. (it was HER problem - and she made it mine - not fair for a child to grow up with) Help your daughter - by getting help - and now. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lyssepoo	You might want to try a few books about adopted children. they make picture books for children explaining it. Check in the parenting section of a barnes and noble. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Matt	One way to approach a young child is to explain how babies come into the world, and how an adopted child's situation is different. For example, using whatever language comes naturally, a parent can explain that babies grow in a woman's pelvis, pointing out familiar adults who are pregnant as examples. Parents shouldn't fear saying the "right thing" either. There is no correct language or method to use when telling a child she is adopted. You know your child best, so approach the discussion in the way that you feel is most appropriate." You might consider using something like the following explanation: "You didn't grow in Mommy's tummy. You have a 'birth mother' and you grew inside her. She loved you very much. She couldn't take care of you herself, but she wanted someone to take good care of you. Now, you are my child and I am so lucky to be your mommy." Children may only understand a very small fraction of what has been explained, but, as they age and are able to understand more detail, parents will be able to build on an existing foundation. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Rivkah	How do you NOT tell a child they're adopted??? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

aloha.girl59	It's extremely unfortunate for your daughter that you haven't told her yet. My son was adopted when he was 2-1/2 years old and adoption language has always been a part of our language at home. He knows he has a first mother and me as well as a first father and my (now ex-) husband. Adoption has never been a secret with my son. He asks questions about his first family on occasion and I always answer with honesty. How do you expect your daughter to trust you when you haven't even told her this HUGE thing about herself? Wow. Do it. Now. Don't wait. Tell your daughter she was adopted and be honest with her. Never say anything bad about her first parents -- after all, she is part of them; their DNA. She will want to know why her first parents didn't keep her. Don't say something like, "They wanted to give you a better life." Tell her that they were very young (if they were) or that they weren't able to take care of a baby, but they loved her very much. Don't go into great detail (that can come later), but BE HONEST with her. This isn't about you and never should have been. Your child has a right to know her origins and you have kept them from her for more than six years. That should be a crime. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

H-TOWN GIRL23	i think you should tell her that she is adopted, because when she grows up and finds out you are not her real mom, she can hate you. it happened to my sister in law. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

*YG[LAKERS 09]**	just be honest and say it.. if u tell her when she is older than she might get depressed or worse.. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Shell	you need to tell her an tell her now don't wait. my sister waited till her adopted daughter was 10 and at 11 she ran away to find her parents. My sister has 3 adopted children 3 an 4 years they both know they are adopted and no problems a few questions but nothing a mother cant handel an tell her the truth no lies find a way 4 her to understand but no lies Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LibertineGirl	Well I suggest that you tell her, but don't make it seem like a bad thing. Just sit her down and have a talk with her, explain and tell her that there is nothing wrong with being adopted and that you are very happy to have adopted her and that you're still her mom. She is kind of young, but i'm guessing she will probably want to know about her real mom, if not now then most likely in the future. Tell her all what you can or what you feel is appropriate about her birth mother. Good Luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kidmindi	Take it from an adopted child who was not told about her adoption but had to find out on my own...TELL HER NOW! Sit her down and tell her that you are going to tell her her own story. Make it upbeat and age apporpirate and for God's sake don't tell her she was chosen. Let it sink in and let her ask questions. Let her know you wil be glad to answer any questions she may have later on. My parents were going to wait until I was older and I have always felt lied to and betrayed by them. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Desiree D	I think that you should just be honest with her. She may not fully understand the whole situation, but when she gets older she will, and she will know that you love her now matter what. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

xbrianna00x	I AM adopted. My parents told me right from the start. I have always known and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Don't hide it like a secret. Be proud about your family history. You love your child and they know that. Tell her she's extra special because you picked her out yourself. She might not understand COMPLETELY, but she is going to catch on more and more. If you tell her when she's older, you will most likely not get a great response. It makes it seem like a big secret you were hiding. My advice, tell her now. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

financing_loans	Sorry cant spin the wheel backwards, my cousin found out at this age. I had family and friends that made this mistake. One didnt bring it up and said you are our child blah blah blah. At about 7 he found out from his cousin. The other family told him from birth. You are adopted we love you we care for you this is what we do. Before he could talk or understand he always knew he was adopted. So at age 6 or 7 somebody mentioned it and he said yeah I know, so what? As opposed to my cousin that freaked out. Personally you should be been telling him for the past 6 years. But the sooner the better. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Doug K	just be honest with her Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

wendy	be honest with her! kids can handle a lot more than folks give them credit for. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No