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 Will my adopted child hate me????????
My fiance and I are two different races. He is white and I am black. We would like to adopt children of any race as long as they need a good loving home. We were thinking adopting a chinese baby ...


 What do you think causes the bigger trauma to a child?
Being adopted, or being physically abused? I know that most adoptees wouldn't have been abused, the reason I'm asking this question is because of some very concerning answers that I read ...


 Adoptees-Does it annoy you when other adoptees are so bitter and ungrateful?
Personally I am really glad I was adopted. I would not have a had any opportunites to succeed and have a good life had I been raised in a Korean orphanage. What my life would have been like had my ...


 Knowing what you know now..would you choose to be raised by your bio parents or adoptive parents?
Some adoptees have lots of info some none at all...if you could rewind time who would you choose to raise you?
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Why?..........


 You must be kidding, do you think you can measure up?
how can adopters really believe that their kid's want to be with them instad of the familes god intended for them?

serioiusly. how can you LIVE with yourself for taking someones kid ...


 I want to adopt, my family is against it?
my husband and i have talked about adopting a child. when i told the family this, they got really defensive about it and told us it was a bad idea. They think if you are able to have a child you ...


 I want to adopt my friend's daughter?
About 3 months ago my husband and I asked our friend and her daughter to move in with us. She is 18 and a full time student. Her daughter is a 16 month old doll who we both absolutely adore. At first ...


 Since adoptive kids look at their AP differently, should i adjust my will?
I was going to split everything up 50 50 but after reading some of you guys post i'm thinking why should i split everything up and take half away from my biological kid when adoptive children ...


 Is it a minority of adoptees that feel this adoption pain?
Hello, I am trying to understand this because I have never met an unhappy adoptee before. Do you all think that most adoptees sail through life appreciating what they have been given without this ...


 When i tarn 19 i want to adop. a baby, but my parents say "NO"! what should i do???
...


 Why are so many people against adoption?
just wondering...
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we were asked at school if we would adopt n most people said no. i was shocked....


 How is adoption NOT buying a child?
Besides from foster care.

I've seen it said many times that people who adopt are not "buying" a child.

But you pay somebody 10 thousand dollars, they give you a ...


 Were you proud of being adopted or ashamed?
As a kid.

That question about being called names really got me thinking about how adoptees have such vastly different experiences growing up.

I was always very proud and told I ...


 So, what are your feelings on adoption?
This is a small experiment of mine, just to find out what people are and aren't willing to say when anonymity is the face, and where there is no accountability.
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Y...


 IF you have an adoptee child do some remarks here scare you to death?
I would be so fearful that my child would resent me. Shouldn't we teach children to be respectful?
Additional Details
Hello out there, I AM talking about little children. If you ...


 Why is it so hard for a-parents to understand that adoptee's can love t?
what is up with adoptive parents being all disrespectful towards the mothers who gave birth to us?! What i'm suppose to forget where i came from, just because i'm adopted? Why is there a ...


 Do you think fathers have a right to know if their baby is being given up for adoption or being aborted?
Aside from the legality, I would like your moral opinion.This question was posed on The View and I found it interesting. In England, a couple had a one night stand and the mother did not want the ...


 Is adoption good or bad?
i am hight school and tring to find other people's points of view about adoption....


 Why do I feel so guilty right now after finding out my birth mother killed herself because of me?
I just turned eighteen and my parents told me about my bio-mother . They knew her mother (my bio grandmother) and that's how they got me. I've always knew I was adopted but I was never ...


 I'm pregnant and I'm considering giving him-her for adoption?
im 21 years old and im in college im majoring in political science but neither him or me are ready for becoming parents I work and go to school full time he tells me that its not even form yet so I ...



Patty
Gave up baby 7 years ago, is it okay to ask for pics?
the way the adoption agencys policys were at that time was you could only recieve pictures up until the 3rd year, and the adoptive parents were very open about that. (He knows all about me too) now the policys have changed and any exchange of photots are allowed as long as both sides agree. I havent seen a picture of him in 4 years, although we keep in contact. would it be wrong to ask the adoptive parents for a picture of him now?
Additional Details
thank you all for the feedback, it makes me feel more comfortable with asking them.

since i gave him up at 14, i have had some critisisim, of course, but because it was my decesion and i knew why i was giving him up (because i love him and i wanted to give him a life i couldnt give him myself) the critisisim means nothing to me



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Ghost Writer
Rating
I don't see why not. I just recently placed my baby girl for adoption a week ago, and the couple actually WANT me to have some involvement, which I have heard is really rare. But I feel uncomfortable about it. I have told them that I am unsure of my feelings about being involved, but we do send correspondences back and forth via lawyer. They plan on sending pictures and understand if I want to just sort of view from the sidelines. I feel my presense might confuse her. But they are a wonderful couple and I do not want to step on any toes. She is their baby now and if they even send me one photo in her entire life, that would be more than enough.

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keilyjoseph
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IT IS OKAY TO ASK FOR PICS ONLY IF YOU CAN SEE THE CHILD. BUT WAIT AND ASK PERMISSION FROM THE CHILDCARETAKER FIRST. CAUSE SOME OF THEM BE ACTING CRAZY SOMETIME. GOOD LUCK SWEETIE

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illusen
it is always okay to ask questions! go ahead and ask. after all this baby is your own flesh and blood

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sophisticated lady
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I agree with linzer all the way. There is nothing wrong with wanting to see your own child! Yeah you made some mistakes in the past, but you are human. But you probably will want to be reunited with him after seeing photos. They may not mind you visiting him tho. You should ask them. He may want to know who his real mother is anyway. Good Luck in the future. I hope they let you see him :)

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professionalfemale01
knightanais (the second person to answer this question) is probably also pro-life. I would bet my life on it.

Those people have no answers for life's tough decisions, they just like to judge and blame.

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Penny A (Vanessa)
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Regarding your comment about getting criticism, if a teen is faced with a pregancy, it doesn't matter what decision she makes - she will ALWAYS be criticised. Example:

1. If you aborted people would say 'oh your murderer etc'
2. If you adopted people would say 'how could you do such a thing, your own flesh and blood!'
3. If you kept the baby people would say 'your too young! you're a child yourself!' and sneer at you and call you names while you push the pram....

Anyway, the point I'm making is, you made the decision that you thought was best for you and your child and if people don't like it, it's their problem.

In answer to your question, go ahead and ask for pictures, especially since your child's parents are open about it.

Best wishes, Penny xxxx

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Lil's Mommy
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If you have been in contact with them, I don't see any reason why they would not give you a recent picture of him. Although they might see it as a change of heart of sorts.

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Torrejon
Ask for the pictures. The worst thing that could happen is that they simply say no.

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Tea Crazed Person.
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I am afraid if you do you might wish you went back in time and stop. Or maybe it might make you happy to see him with someone who could take care of him. idk just ask them....

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Angela S
No way, I think that it is perfectly fine for you to ask for pictures.

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Ayawi
Ask for pictures. They will most likely be glad to show your your beautiful son. It will probably hurt to see him, but it will also make you feel better.
Besides, if they do say no, you are in no worse place than you are now right?

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Dimples
I recomend that you do ask, there should be nothing wrong with that if you'll are keeping in contact.

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Hesperia
Good for you!

I think you should see a photo of him if you'd really like to and they are open to this (AND SO HIS HE).

I would ask fo just a photo of him, no one else it in. This will make it easier on yourself.

Remember, this was your child, you should be able to see a picture, but this isn't your life anymore, so don't pressure.
They might feel very proud that you want to see a photo of their son!

Best of luck

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ladybmw1218
If you are in contact anyway, I see no reason not to ask for a recent photo. This is assuming you have a reasonably respectful relationship, and that they aren't wacko people who will see that as a threat.

I'm surprised they haven't offered.

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C K Platypus
You don't lose out on anything by asking. Prepare yourself for all answers, ie they might say no.

Good luck.

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punxy_girl
I am an adoptive mother and I exchanged pictures with the birth mother for a year. I offered to continue but she did not respond. Now that my daughter is older and asking questions, I wish I still had contact with the birth mother. I have the deepest respect and admiration for her and only speak well of her to my daughter. I believe that many adoptive mothers feel this way. Please ask. They may be afraid at first, but they may be happy to accommadate you. Good luck!

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lissie
I don't see why not, especially since you have kept in contact with them.

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cris_c0ast
Rating
It's your blood you should be able to get videos

knightanais
^ that chick.. don't listen to her, I'm sure you had a perfectly good reason for giving your baby up for adoption. She's immature people like that don't deserve a mouth to talk with.

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Nicci R
Rating
Sure you can ask for pictures! I'm an adoptive mom, and if my daughter's birthmom asked for pics, (I send them to her anyway...we have an open adoption) I'd be happy to send her some! The worst thing that can happen is they could say no, but I doubt it. Especially if you still are in contact with eachother. They know how much you love your child.

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T-Bone
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Sure!

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mac cracker
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i dont think it would be wrong if you are still in contact with them... i mean the worst that can happen is they say no right!? i mean yeaaah they could stop being in contact with you, but if they were open about it back then, why wouldnt they be now?
just ask....if you really wanna seeee him, i would ask.

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lilshorty3088
Rating
if your talking to them there is no reason not to ask what is the worst that happens they say no

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gadsdencpl2005
Rating
hi, i think if the adoptive parents are okay with it it would be find. just remember that you gave them this precious gift and now its theirs so if they don't mind then i see no problem with it as long and child doesn't either. i would ask the parents first .. good luck

and i compend you on giving up for adoption some people would not have done it and the children are the ones who suffer.. god bless

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babybluebird1988
no, it sounds like its an open adoption so go ahead and ask!!!

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Lisa G
You can always ask, however you have to make sure you are ready to stand by whatever they decide, even if it no.

If you are very open and honest with them, they should have no problems with it if thy were so open before about it. All you can do is be honest with them, and simply ask =)

GOOD LUCK!!

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granny_annabelle
Rating
Wow, this is a tough one. I think it would depend on the relationship you have maintained with the adoptive parents. IF it was my adoptive child, I might feel threatened if they parent suddenly asked for pics after 4 years. When you say you have maintained contact, is it once a year, few times a year, etc? I think if you explained to the adoptive parent that you posed no threat but were just curious then perhaps they would give pics.

I don't know if I would be willing to share with an adoptive parent though unless it was a really open relationship.

Good luck.

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tiamarie33
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I don't think it is wrong at all.

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Linzer
I think it would be fine. Though, it might make your heart a little more sore. But then again, it might make it as peace also. I don't see asking for his picture is offensive or anything. And if they feel differently (which they do have the right) then they would let you know. =o)

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lindsey4706
Rating
I don't see how asking could hurt. I would definitely try. The worst that could happen is that they say no, right?

Also I give you tremendous credit for putting your child up for adoption! What an amazing selfless thing to do!

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pditty
Rating
You don't suck! in response to that post above. You probably made the best decision in giving your child to a loving family to be adopted. With that said, no it's not wrong to ask for pictures, but be prepared for a "no" from the parents. And if they do allow it, that should be the only contact you have with the child, through pictures. Your presence would really complicate things. Asking can't hurt, just make it clear for them that you are purely curious, want to see him, not trying to get into his life. Good luck!

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Wize Guy
I don't think it would hurt to ask, just be mentally prepared in case they say no.

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