For all you posting answers on the adoption section how are you effected by adoption?

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Renee King	I am the mother of a wonderful son who we adopted through foster care - family adoptions. My grandmother was adopted way back in 1927 or so. My best friend growing up through church is adopted, but unlike most adoptees does not have a desire to find birth parents. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

KWilbanks	I am a birthmom that ALMOST lost my rights to my daughter, and she was almost adopted by her foster parents. They loved her alot and I dont have ANY hard feelings toward them at all. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Justrying2help	I have adopted 2 little boys. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather Leigh	I have three teenagers, two by birth and one by adoption. I was also pressured to give my oldest son up for adoption by his father's parents. I found out that my son was in high demand thanks to his beautiful blue eyes and blonde curls. At least this is what the THREE social workers that came to the hospital after he was born told me. I will forever be grateful to my Mom for throwing them (almost literally) out of my hospital room and giving me the support I needed to keep my child. My youngest son came to live with me when he was 5 years old as a foster child. He was removed from my home and placed with his grandparents and then moved to another Foster home all within a year and a half time frame before he came to live with us permanently. I strongly believe out Foster care system needs change. Foster families need to be screened better. Foster care Social Workers need more training, but they also need a smaller case load. My sons worker did the best she could, but she was supervising 50+ families. (not children, families) The Social Workers are overworked, stressed and most of them don't last more than 5 - 10 years in the field. Those that stick it out become desensitized. So, I am all for Foster Care Reform. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mom to Foster Children	I am a PAP / foster mother. I am in no way an expert (except at making PB&J...hehe) I just offer my opinion and give advice based on my experiences. I do learn alot on this site from all it's the bashing I can't stand. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jennifer L	Adoptive mom via international adoption. Thanks for asking. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

lahdh4	I am a firstmom. I speak with firstmoms when others try to answer for us and do not know what we are going through. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Fay S	I adopted my first child out when I was 16 a typical play up fall pregnant story. I had to think with my head an not my heart as there were no such things as pensions 39 yrs ago. Knowing I could love him , wasn't sufficient to feed and clothe him, so I made the hardest decision of my life and signed the adoption papers. It broke my heart but knew it was the best thing for him at that time.I always got through by thinking one day I will see him again but wasnt easy not a day went past that I didnt think about him and when birthdays were there it was sooooooo hard! But I have a happy ending, We found each other 13 yrs ago and have a very close relationship, as we are both alike our birthdays are a day apart. I have 2 other children who are his full brother and sister as i married the babies father later. We are now divorced and have been for a long time. All of my family get along great , so I am blessed with being one of the fortunate ones that has a happy ending. It is not an easy choice to sign your child away believe me and one that needs to be thought of long and hard! I also get along fine with his adoptive parents well only his Mum is alive now as his Dad passed away some years ago now but we did meet, they were actually the ones who instigated the search not knowing that My family was about to do the same thing. Oh and I am Mum to him and Nanna to my grandchildren and have been since the first meeting. It was his choice! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jess G	I am an adoptee and I don't hate on my adopted parents. If it weren't for them, where would I be today? Adoption is a great thing as long as you go into it with a big open heart. I don't think any of us are "experts", we give advice from the heart and what may have happened in our personal situations. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Robin	I am an adoptee, happily reunited with my mom in 1983 & my first father in 1986. And I was far too close to being a first mom. I was taken from my mom & placed in foster care at the age of 18 months because she was alone (her husband had abandoned her), made little money working as a waitress & briefly lived "with a man to whom she was not married", per court records. There were no drug or alcohol problems & no criminal record (in the records). After a year in foster care, she was told she'd never regain custody. My foster parents adopted me at age 3. My adopted mom reluctantly agreed to the adoption. Loved my dad (daddy's girl!). Worked hard to gain my mom's acceptance (never got it). Both parents were functioning alcoholics. I had my daughter 6 weeks after my 17th birthday. And although her dad & I married before she was born, we divorced shortly after her 1st birthday. My a.mom pushed me to relinquish my daughter, going so far as to contact CWS & try to have her taken from me. She failed. I did consider adoption, believing that I was not good enough to raise my own child. However, I didn't want my daughter to grow up wondering why she was given up or if I loved her. I kept her. It was a bit of a struggle for the first couple of years. But WELL WORTH it!! Having her grounded me. She gave me a reason to be strong, to go to college, to work hard & earn a decent living and make a life for us. She is now the mother to 2 of my grandchildren and has always been one of the biggest blessings in my life. When my daughter was 18, my a.mom told me that I was a good mom. I'd waited 18 years to hear her say that, but by the time she did, I really didn't care what she thought. We haven't been in each other's life since my (a) father died 11 years ago this week (April 11th). I still miss him. He was a good man, a good father and he loved us (his kids) all. He had his flaws, of course. But he loved us and we all love & miss him. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

brookieboo	my mother gave up a son to adoption when i was 2, my aunt gave up a son when i was 4, i thought about giving my daughter up when i was pregnant with her, my husbands mother was adopted, my husband and i have custody of my sister and thinking about full adoption of her, and we are also soon to be foster/ adoptive parents... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ms Joy	Adoptive parent of open and closed adoptions. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

5littlemonkeys	I have adopted a sibling group of 3. My husband has two older bsiblings that were adopted Just found out and reunited with one their looking for the oldest. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

mommy2squee	I'm an adoptive mom, and an adult adoptee. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gaia Raain	I'm a PAP, adopting through foster care in Oregon. I wouldn't say I "hate on" AP's, unless it's pretty obvious that their adoption was unethical. But I do absolutely "hate on" adoption as a whole because I've learned a lot, and most adoptions are unethical, as far as I'm concerned. I think adoption should be a last resort, and only when absolutely necessary due to abuse or neglect. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Doodlestuff	I am a first mom, bullied into giving up my son. I don't hate a-parents. I hate the fact that white girls are lied to in order to provide babies for a-parents instead of a-parents providing homes for children in need of them. My bf and I are on the fence about having children due to some recurring med problems I've had (he has 3 already). If we adopt, I have to go out of country since we wouldn't be allowed here (I have a brain injury). Fortunately, my injury will not prevent me from adopting in my chosen country. I also appreciate the fact, that unlike domestic adoptions, this country checks up on adoptees until they are school aged. Had the state done the same thing, my son wouldn't have been raised in a home with 2 alcoholics. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Cam	I'm an adoptive parent. I'm here to listen to the POV from all sides. I'm not an expert. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Torrejon	I am an adoptee. I have always believed that my adoption was a success story. After searching, I now know that my adoption was a chance-in-a-million success story! One of the many reasons that searching was so worth while! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

cruzgirlz3	I'm an adoptee, one who feels that adoption was a good thing for my life. I'm in the process of looking for my birth parents. I have recently gained custody of two related children and am moving towards guardianship. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Freckle Face	I'm an adoptive mom. I know i don't have a lot of advice to offer just opinions. I come here to learn from adoptees so i can be a better parent to my daughters. I also come here to learn from first mothers. We have an open adoption with our oldest DD's First Mom, I love her so much. I want to better understand adoption from her point of view, so i can be there for her and support her in any way i can. Even if i don't agree with someones point of view I can appreciate where they are coming from. I will not tolerate rude and hurtful comments towards adoptees or first moms on Y!A or IRL. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gershom	I was adopted at 5.5 months old. I'm a student of adoption. Learning more everyday. I don't hate adoptive parents either. I spent the day with one of mine today. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

scorpio_queen_2003	I am an adopted,reunited person.i don't have any aminosity (sp) to adoptive parent's,as the only ones i have encountered are caring and loving people.it's the adoption agency itself that my bmom went through that i am angry with.she was talked into giving me up,by a social worker mainly because i would be raised in a white community,and would suffer.as it was,i was adopted into a caucasian family and raised in a causcasian environment.it's not my AP's fault that happened,so i cannot be angry with them Edit to add; My Ap's had been picked out for me at this point,so the social worker KNEW i was going to be raised in this way when my bmom tried to get me back. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

red-haired gypsy	I am a birthmother of a son named Nathan by aps who will be 18 on August 22,1990. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tish	i am "affected" by adoption in many ways. and i think the term "expert" is misleading. -i've dealt with years of guilt, paranoia and fear because i made an adoption plan, yet changed my mind. -i've witnessed the industry damn women who changed our minds; and call us all scammers. -i've become angry at how f-moms and experiences of pregnant and birthing women are marginalized and co-opted, such as "post-partum (adoption) depression, "labor without an epidural" or tacky as$ t-shirts, which purport that "adoption is the new pregnancy"; just to benefit those who can't biologically reproduce or are adoptive parents. -i abhor racism in adoption. every time i read a posting, advertisement or website that refers to black children as "hard-to-place", "special needs", or "available for a lower cost"...i cringe; and my heart cries. black children (including the child that i almost placed) are worth MORE than that! -i don't like how young white girls are treated like human incubators. -i also know wonderful aparents (IRL an on-line) who didn't try to pretend the child had no first-parents, didn't fake pregnancy, labor and breastfeeding by purchasing pills, pumps, tubes, stupid little t-shirts, or claimed the diarrhea, menstrual cramps or nausea during the f-mom's labor they had was "labor." yet focused on providing a loving and nurturing environment to the children they have adopted. my "credentials" are that i have made an adoption plan, i have changed my mind, i have been pregnant and know first hand that "adoption is NOT the new pregnancy"; and empathize with those who have been lied to, coerced, had their children taken or lost their children and mothers through adoption. your move. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

LaurieDB	I'm adopted. I've lived adoption most of my life (since age 2.) I'm also a former county social worker who worked directly with families in crisis, with ultimate goal to reunite/keep the families together. I worked with a number of children in foster care, some for whom adoption was going to be the final outcome. I'm also an active advocate for the rights of all adopted citizens. I don't "hate" AP's. Heck, I was RAISED by AP's! A lot of the AP's on here are very cool. Some of the biggest problems I have are if a PAP EXPECTS a child, and if an AP isn't honest about the adoption to his/her adopted child, or isn't supportive of the adopted child if s/he should choose to search later. Have no idea what you mean by "expert." All I can do is give you my experience with adoption, both personal and professional. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Andraya	Natural mom and reunited adoptee here. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

red&sassy	I am a firstmom who was promised an "open" adoption and then it was closed. I hate the adoption industry and the way it is practiced here in the United Sates. My experience, as a friend said, could be written as a book and be put in the True Crime section of the bookstore. I don't hate AP's. There are many on here who I have great respect for. I DO have issues with the AP's of my daughter, "Lauren". Tish pretty much said the rest. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

snowwillow20	I'm a birthmom and had my daughter in 1972. I hoped I was doing the best for her. I'm not an expert in anything, but I've lived the life of a bmom, which means the heartache and the depression of living a lie and keeping a secret. I can't talk for anyone but myself. My bdaughter had a great amom, but even with her amom, she still has issues with abandonment. We have both been in counseling and it has helped some but I still have plenty of guilt to live with. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

PhilM	I am an adult adoptee. Adopted as an infant. Reunited with my first mom recently. I don't hate adoptive parents. I have two that I love very much. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Heather B	I'm an adoptee and I don't hate my adoptive parents :) I'm quite fond of them, in fact I know how it feels to grow up adopted and not know who I am and where I came from. I know how it feels to be told 'your birth is none of your business' and all the other anti-adoptee tripe that spews from the mouths of people who have never experienced growing up adopted. I also know how it feels to see a bunch of people who have no experience of being adopted trying to tell adoptees how they 'should' think and feel and get their panties in a real bunch when an adoptee is strong enough to speak out against the lovey dovey adoption is a win-win for everyone c*ap Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Warrior Mom	I'm an adoptive mom. When I first came to this site, I thought the same thing--wait! Why does everyone think of me as the bad guy for adopting? But, as I kept reading and listening, and hearing some real stories from real adoptees, and real first moms, I began to understand the anger we read in their messages. The anger is really about a system that is far from perfect. A system which is WAY past the time for some major reforms. There are LOTS of illegal adoptions taking place, which all of us SHOULD hate, But, even in the legal adoptions, there are some unethical things that are still happening in 2008! After all these years, you would think that we would have made more progress than we have made. So, I join in with all those who express their anger at a system that needs changing. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No