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 Does it bother anyone when bio moms refer to themselves as mother's?
They gave birth, but that was just incidental. There wasn't any special skill involved, just a fluke of sperm and egg. Then they went away. Adoptive moms actually get their hands dirty. They are ...


 So why do white families....?
adopt ethnic babies?
is it to show people they are not racist or do they like the features of the certian race they adopted from?
I am just curious I am not trying to be racist

T...


 So I know some may think this is wrong but...?
If your daughter was <17 and got pregnant would you make her give the baby up for adoption?

I say this because I know I would and I wanted to know if anybody else felt the same.
<...


 Why do ppl act like it's so easy to just give a child up for adoption after 9 months of carrying??
I understand a lot of people are against abortions b/c i am too...but why do ppl always answer questions with "put the baby up for adoption" like if that is such an easy thing to do?? C...


 "Why not just adopt?"?
I am curious because I have noticed whenever a question has the word "infetile" users suggest adoption. Quite often they say something along the line of "just adopt so many kids need a ...


 I am 7 weeks andf thining strongly of putting the aby up for adoption?
Where can i get started
Additional Details
BTW my keyboard is a piece of **** and i was crying when i was typing ...


 What do you think of Britney Spears plan to adopt twins from China?
This has been reported in the news today. Reportedly, she wants to adopt 6 year old twin girls who are currently in an orphanage in China.
Could this really happen?...


 What do you think of adopting children instead of birthing your own ?
...


 Why do people adopt?
There are obviously more people who want babies than there are babies to go around.
Prospective and adoptive parents seem to be willing to go through so much, and spend so much money to raise a ...


 True of False?
If a mother isn't harmful to her child, then she is the best one for the child to be with?...


 Adoption? Deciding to give baby up after birth?
I have a four-month old daughter that I wish so much to raise and love, but given very extreme circumstances I have slowly come to a hard realization that I might have to find a adoptive family for ...


 Poll: Are you for adoption, against adoption, or for reformed adoption and why?
I'm sorry I am bored and just want to see what other peoples opinions are and why. Promise no thumbs down from me. Please be honest with your opinions. I don't plan to adopt but in the near ...


 If a woman is capable of having her own children why would she adopt a baby?
Doesn't these cases add to the demand for an infant? Just because a woman doesn't feel like carrying a baby in her own baby she has the right to legally buy somebody else's as long as ...


 Why do people feel sorry for those that can't conceive but not for "birth" mothers?
How is it fair to feel sorry for those that are incapable of reproducing but not feel sorry for those that relinquished? Why are single mothers poor mothers that relinquishes so bad? What is so wrong ...


 My ex want to put my unborn child up for adoption without my consent i was wondering if she can do this?
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 How do you feel when you see an obviously adopted child?
I went to the store with my daughter this afternoon.

I saw two Asian girls with their white mother. I always have a flurry of feelings--how do you feel?
Additional Details
G...


 "You should not adopt children older than 5, because they are too messed up" -- Can you believe this?
Someone said this at work today!

Do you think it is true?...


 Pregnant and wanting to put the baby up for adoption. Does the dad have to know?
So my sister got pregnant in Oregon by a total deat beat. She knows his full name and how to contact him, but she doesn't want to. She wants this baby to go to a good home. She's living in U...


 What does the natural mother gain from adoption?
Everyone talks about adoption as a "win" for everyone involved. What does a mother "win" when she loses her baby to adoption?
Additional Details
ETA: Based on many ...


 I have just adopted a little boy am i allowed to get him circumcised?
...



chumbsie132000
Can you nurse adopted baby?



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kayanna123
you can nurse the baby if you are producing milk.

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meoorr
Rating
Yes, it is possible to nurse an adopted baby but it does take work to get it going. The best place to get help in this is from La Leche League. Basically, it involves pumping around the same times, but there are some other specifics. I remember that you would probably need a good electric pump.

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littleJaina
Yes, and unlike the others, I think it's a wonderful way for mothers and babies to bond. However, if it is too stressful for you or your body, don't do it. Having a happy healthy mom is more important.

On a side note, biological fathers AND adoptive fathers can nurse too! It takes a little more work than with adoptive woman, but... I think it's definitely something to look into. I think I could have kept nursing my son longer if someone else would have been able to take a turn now and then. ;-)

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Slassy Girl
Yes! A doctor can give you something to make you lactate.

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versantly
Rating
talk to your gyn & the pediatrician-it's possible for the hormones to be activated, but impractical.

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girlwhowasadoptedin49or50ithink
Rating
Most women can successfully nurse without having given birth, but call the La Leche League for more information. They're experts at this stuff.

It's not nipple stimulation, but stimulation of the mammary glands.

.

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noodlesmycat
Rating
No offense, but I heard about this when I was adopting and it just gives me the heebee jeebies. All the same, if you can handle it, go for it.

Although my daughter was given formula, one of the other adoptive parents found out and told me that there were a few birth mothers who still visited the orphanage and their babies and shared their milk with our babies. They were mostly Chinese mothers visiting their daughters, of course. I didn't have a problem with that. Chinese women aren't noted to be drug addicts, prostitutes and alcoholics often. What a selfless act! I think that was dear and I am so thankful to them. What an awesome gift! Even if it didn't cure our children's malnutrition, rickets, celiac, etc., I'm so grateful for what they did.

What ever happened to wet nurses?

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Bren
Rating
If you are lactating, you can.....

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LaraSue
Yes, like others said, you can stimulate lactation with a doctor's help. Also there are supplemental feeders available( check with your local La Leche League, or lactation consultant] that can be used to simulate breastfeeding even if milk production is not enough to exclusively breastfeed.
The bonding benefits are well worth it.

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Crucio
Yes you can one way is your doctor can start you on hormones. My Aunt did this when she adopted her son. She also supplement with formula since she never made enough milk to sustain the baby on it alone, but it was bonding experience for them. A lady who works with my parents was also offered this by her doctor when they adopted their son, but she declined because she planned to return to work, where as my Aunt quite work to be a stay at home mommy. I think this is becoming something thats being more offered to woman who adopted an infant or baby.

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MK
i've heard it's possible, the doctor can give you a pill and then you have to start pumping for awhile ahead of time i believe.

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furfur
Rating
I actually looked into this, my doctor advised against it for me for health reasons, but you will be taking hormones and you have to do thise several months before your baby comes home. The hormones can make you gain alot of weight. You may be able to find information through the LaLeche league. Good luck...ignore the naysayers here !

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Madison
Yes you can, go to your doctor and let the baby suckle you to help stimulate milk production.

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Debbie Ann H
I have heard that you can.There might be something the dr. can give you.YOu might have to pump to simulate the baby sucking.Dont be afraid to ask the Dr. I have heard of alot of adoptive mothers wanting to try and nurse.It is worth the try.Nursing is good for bonding for both the mom and baby...If you cant than just hold the baby close like you are nursing this also feels good for mom and baby.I nursed 4 babies one was allergic to my milk so had to bottle feed.I felt bad at first but than I just would hold her close like i was nursing her and it was wonderful too....Good luck

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jessica300
It may be possible but it is SERIOUSLY DISTURBING!

Yuk!

Edit - To all who think it's wonderful and that seems to be paps/aps: The big ick factor comes from the thought of my son having some female's (other than his mother's) breast stuck in his face. It is definitely about the adopter and not the child. It is not as though the child will not survive without breast milk, and formula may be just as good as breast milk since there IS NO CONNECTION between adoptive mother and infant. Not even if you wish it to be true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get a grip.

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My whole heart is in Iraq
YES you can nurse an adopted child. My mother adopted me, and wanted the bonding experiance a child gets from nursing from its mother. What she did was massage her breasts (i have no idea how long or how much) and in time she would produce some milk. Now it wasn't as much as the biological mother would produce, so she had a small tube of formula taped by her nipple, so I was getting two things at once. She's an OBGYN, so I believe her. I bet if you googled it you would find articles on it as well, seeing how im shaky on details

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Rocker Wife
Rating
YES you can. There are 2 ways to go about it... hormone induced and naturally induced with nipple stimulation. Some women are able to start lactating simply by the act of nursing a baby. Some women need more help and go to hormone therapy.

Here's how hormone therapy works....
Hormonal therapy to induce lactation generally consists of administration of estrogen to simulate the high-estrogen state of pregnancy. The estrogen is then abruptly withdrawn to mimic the rapid hormonal changes following delivery. A course of a prolactin-enhancing drug such as metaclopromide (Reglan.) is then instituted. Sucking stimulation (with a pump or by baby) is begun at this point. And the women is then able to nurse.

Good luck.

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xanaduloot
LOL about it being like drinking from the dog!!! But seriously EW.....let the baby drink from its birth mother and than give it formula....

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Isabel A
Taking hormones? Really??
I specifically spend extra money to make sure my kids get milk that does not have hormones in it and people think it's ok to give hormones to babies???

The hormones one would take to make them lactate come out in breast milk and go into your kid. That just doesn't seem healthy to me.

If you are naturally lactating then go for it. But hormones deliberately in breastmilk? Yuck!

No thanks.

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BPD Wife
Yes it is possible, but I have to agree with a lot of the adoptees on this board...it is not something as an adoptive mother that I would consider UNLESS it was for the health of my child, meaning that they could only take breastmilk due to problems with formula.

Regardless of the bonding experience or the perceived health benefit of breastmilk, I think that breastfeeding should be done naturally and not artificially induced. But that is my own personal opinion.

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lfor1234
Rating
I think that there are some ways to encourage milk production, but you would have to talk to a doctor for sure. The if this is the case YES!

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Debbie Downer
As an adoptee, it sounds pretty repulsive.

Just being honest, not trying to be mean.

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grapesgum
Rating
Yes, it is possible. The amount of milk that is produced is rarely enough to sustain the baby. I think that it is done more for the benefit of the adoptive mother than the adopted baby.

My friends who were adopted find adoptive nursing very, very disgusting. I wish more adoptive parents would stop to think about how their adopted children will feel when they are adults.

Edited to add - Gain weight??? God forbid that one should gain weight. That's the lot of the "birth" mothers, breeders.

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harpnut
Rating
it is possible. there are pills you can take. honestly though, for psychological reasons i would advise against it. my mom thought about nursing my adopted brother, but then decided it just wasn't a good idea. you are not the childs biological mother, no matter how much you want to be. adoptive parents have the privilege of raising someone else's kid. in the long run it would be hurtful to the child to try and deny them their biological child, even if it is something that they won't specifically "remember". feelings can be remembered too, and you have to realize that when children are adopted, the first thing they feel is fear and confusion. don't try to completely phase out the biological mother.

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Problem Child
Rating
Yes, it can be possible. As many have already said, hormones and pumping can induce lactation.

That said....ew, ew, ew. As a nurse, I have seen adoptive mothers doing this in the delivery room right after birth, and it's seriously disturbing.
And it's not just me, my coworkers who aren't prejudiced by being adopted (I am) also think it's totally sick. I'm sorry, I know you're just wanting to 'bond' and all, but it's just wrong on so many levels. It's like a dog peeing on a tree to mark his territory...it's like the adoptive mother is trying to force the baby to be hers physically.
Very, very disturbing. Seriously.

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Mary G
Rating
Of all the things I have heard of having to do with adoption, this is perhaps the most disgusting. Yes you hear all about wet nurses, but honestly they had their own babies to stimulate milk production, they didn't use hormone therapy or try to stimulate their production by nursing another womans child.

I nursed all of my raised children and yes I agree the bond I had with them before birth was intensified by nursing, however every womans body produces the exact type of milk their child needs. A mothers body is so in tune with her childs it simply "knows" what the baby needs most in her milk. It is the perfect food for HER CHILD! Another womans milk (sorry but I have to say it) would be inferior and not perfect. It is not tailor made by mother nature for the infant that is adopted.

I think it takes a pretty twisted individual to want to do this sort of thing. It's bad enough that some women want to pretend that they actually gave birth, it is worse yet to pretend that any milk they produce will be tailored to the infant they adopt. I would have been horrified to learn that my daughters adoptive mother tried to nurse her.

Yes colostrum has those antibodies our children need to be extra protected when born, but the only way to produce the right colostrum is to be the one who gave birth to the child! They baby was not exposed to the same things that the adoptive mother was exposed to, they have been exposed to the things their mother has been exposed to, so the benefits would not be there. Common sense don't you think?

Aside from the fact that the infant will know on an instictual level that this is not their mommys milk!

Edit: I can see that someone has been busy with their little thumbs down.. too bad those don't bother me.. I mean really if a person is secure in themselves and what they believe in why would it bother them?

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Leanne1310
Milk is produced by the body as a result of hormones that are only present after giving birth.

However, lactation can be induced via nipple stimulation i.e. putting baby to the breast, but this can take a very long time - even then the baby would have to be supplemented with formula, as induced lactation does not produce as much milk as normal lactation.

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sunny
You know, of all the adoption related things that I dislike, I think that an adoptive mother trying to nurse a baby is the most deluded, repulsive thing I can conjure up.

And don't tell me it's FOR the baby! It's for the amother's satisfaction.

The imagery is nauseating.


ETA: FURFUR: 'Gaining weight' is the reason you wouldn't want to do it? Classic. AP selfishness rules! Can't gain weight--that's for birthmothers. Puke.

Mommy2s: You said "Breastfeeding will help your bond to form with your new child, and will help fight postpartum depression."

Newsflash for APs: There is no 'post' if there was no 'partum'. One of the worst things about adoption for the children is all the PRETENDING. Arrgggh.

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twinmom
Rating
If you have to take hormones and pump around the clock only to produce a small amount of milk that won't sustain the baby, and sometimes none at all, then it is wrong. No offense meant to any nursing mother, but it is wrong to assume those hormones will not end up in the milk, and that it will not affect the baby. In addition, having a baby suck your breasts when you are not producing milk is only for the mother's benefit, not the baby's, and it's not pleasant to think about, bordering on abuse, considering the mother is making an infant suck her breasts only to serve her emotional need.

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Julie R
Rating
I'm sorry but just the thought of my adoptive mother nursing me makes me nauseous.

Why not let the child's mother nurse the baby? She is the one with the perfect milk for the child.

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tish
Rating
although i'm a total lactivist, and have nursed my two kids for 15 and 20 months, respectively, i'm "iffy" on the abreastfeeding issue. i recently posted about this to see if the motivation for abreastfeeding was clearly to provide optimal nutrition for the child or for another reason. what i discovered was that those who wanted to breastfeed did not feel comfortable with the bmom breastfeeding. so i still am like, "what's the real motivation."

historically, women have "wet-nursed" babies. this practice stems from early civilization and american slavery; and is still in practice in some parts of the world. the ideal of wet-nursing was for one purpose: to provide nutrition to a child because the natural mother could/would not due to death, illness, class structures (affluent women didn't like to nurse to avoid the ptosis, or sagging breasts). during american slavery, women wet-nursed if the mother was sold or died during delivery, or if the baby was sold to another owner. certain slaves were also designated "the mistresses' wet-nurse" and nursed the babies of the slave owners.

some attempt to equate abreastfeeding to the practice of wet-nursing, yet i find the two very different. first, the 'wet-nurse' is usually lactating naturally due to her own recent delivery or extended breastfeeding. second, the primary purpose is for that child's sustenance. in some areas in sub-saharan africa and south-america, wet-nurses are important because, 1) there is no formula, 2) the mother might be HIV+ and cannot nurse due to fear of transmission, 3) the mother is too ill or died during delivery.

hell, i'll admit that i actually offered my friend's baby some of my pumped breast-milk, because she was caught in traffic and he'd run out of milk and was screaming his head off! but even still, the motivation was HIS NUTRITION, not me bonding.

was she skeeved out? no. would she'd been if i said, "i just let your baby nurse on my breast because i wanted to bond with him to calm him down." she probably would have called the cops!

i'm rambling... so let me attempt to bring some context to this post. adoptive moms CAN induce lactation and nurse. the amount of milk and the quality of the milk might not be the same as a naturally lactating mother, hence supplementation is often required; and the motivation is slightly different than that of wet-nursing or donating milk. and the whole tube strapped to the boob is icky... sorry.

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