Adoption, yes or no.?

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Ana Milena	Hi, Christina! You're such a precious person as well as your little son. Firstly, don't give up. I'm nobody to tell you how easy or difficult your situation is, but I perceive you're a sensitive and sensible person to keep on trying to survive. Regarding your son, if you think that you're not capable to offer him an emotionally financially stable life and you can't wait that long until a solution comes up, I guess that adoption is a very harsh decision as you've mentioned, but it's fair for both you and your kid. I wonder if there are special programmes in your country where help is offered to single mothers, which might be another solution. However, it you can wait for a while, perhaps someone would like to shelter your baby while you get a job or something like that, and you can visit the baby as often as you can. I've met people who have given their children away. Some of them don't regret it because of their welfare. Still, if your love for your little angel is strong, don't give up! If I can help you, please don't forget counting on me! :-) I know lots of people would really love to have good news from you and your baby! In the meantime, I'll pray for you and your baby! :-) Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kathiangel711	you need to be strong, there are tons of organizations out there that will be willing to help you, I do believe in adoptions, I have 3 children that are my natural children all of whom are grown ups now, and basically when they were small I raised them on my own, their father and I divorced and I worked 3 jobs just to keep a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs. None of my family helped, besides I did not live by them, I worked out with another woman who was in the same situation that we baby sat for one and other. I think it is harder to make a decision on placing a child up for adoption after spending any time with them, don't make a hasty decision though. On the other side if you do decide on the adoption side know there are loving people out there that will love him as though they gave birth to him. I know that because I have been trying to adopt for 7 years. My heart aches to have children in my home again. My ex husband took the chance of me having more kids away from me. but any way...think about this long and hard before you do it...Maybe you know someone that will take care of him while you get your self back on your feet...If you wanna talk feel free to email me..concerned....good luck Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Paige J	I think you should give him to a family until your more stable! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Star	I admire you so much for working so hard and being so wise!!! Maybe you could leave him with a family member until you were in a stable enough environment to have him around? Maybe you could take him back when you pulled yourself together a little more? Good luck, my friend!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

pinkladyy	isn't there just anyone to take care of him while you at work? a friend? neighbor? anyone? if i were in your shoes i would do whatever it takes to make him happy. even if i had to give him up for adoption. if you can't find any alternative to keeping him then i guess the best would be to give him for an adoption that way you know he'll be safe and taken care of by a family who will love him as much as you do. this might kill you but just do whatever you think is best. and even though you haven't committed suicide please don't think about your son he loves you dearly. you wouldn't want to make him sad now would you? think about it best of luck to you Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jaime m	Have you tried to get assistance as far as daycare assistance or food stamps or anything? It sounds like you really love your son and want the best for him. You are the only one who can make that decision, but as far as the suicidal thoughts and emotional difficulties maybe if you get some help for yourself they can help you to find some resources. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Shannon	People who work, but do not bring in much money still qualify for welfare and food stamps. Food stamps will ease your worries of ramen noodles everyday. You can even get cash assistance to help with rent and other utility payments. You may have to go after the dad for child support if he does not live with you, but who cares. (They have an appeals process if you have already tried!!! A judge can assess your situation and repel their decision to not help you.) At this point you need to do everything you can for your child. For your child, you need to exhaust every resource you can before even considering adoption! If the state does not help, there are charities out there that help people in your situation as well. The best for your son right now is to be with his mom. If you are seriously having problems with depression, see a doctor. The government offers help with that too. If you qualify for WIC, you also qualify for health insurance. When times are really hard and you are really thinking about suicide there is a free therapy hotline: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 1-800-273-TALK (8255) they may also be able to help you find resources in your area for help in your situation. Edit: If you can tell me where you are (state and county is all I need, I do not want to do anything but look up the information online for you), I will help you find phone numbers and forms to fill out to apply for help. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Tears In Rain	Your son is the only thing in your life that will ever mean THAT much to you. He is the most important person you will EVER meet. He is the most important man who will ever LOVE you unconditionally. If you have little money, it doesn't matter. YOU ARE RICH because you have your son. DON'T be poor----by giving him up-----because then that will "really" make you poor. I know you feel bad seeing him eat ramen, but I ate ramen noodles for years (no joke: the truth) and my mother probably felt that way too. But if my mom would have given me up, she would never have been as strong as she is now, and I would never be the person I am now, and by God, I love being the person I am now having endured those hard times. It makes you a better person in the end. Your little son loves you. You as a mother are "God to the eyes of a child" -that's from the movie The Crow...and it's true. You are ALL that HE has. Don't seperate yourself from him. He needs you. He may be eating Ramen now, but in a little while down the road, he will be eaten mac & cheese or spagetti, and you will think about suicide less and less. And everyone thinks about that, and those things. You sound normal. You are just stressed, which is NORMAL. ;) You will be alright! Just stay together. and LOVE him. Keep him by you. Only you can protect him like no one else can because you are his mother. I sincerely wish you the strength to endure these harsh times and I know (from growing up poor myself) that things WILL get better. ;) Peace Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gerlawgoody1	Do you have a friend that is maybe more mature that you can stay with that will help you with your son while you are trying to find help for these problems? There are often older people who are retired or have income but do not work that would be willing to help out. My best friend is younger than me and her children are still young, whenever she has a problem they come live with me for a weekend until she solves whatever the problem is. If you attend a church, maybe someone there would let you stay with them while they watched your son and you worked. Your baby is your lifeline now. He is all you have. Turning your back on him would be turning your back on yourself and your future! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kimberly	You could give him to a family member (if you have one that you can trust) I know it hard to give up a child being at such a young age. Unless you have some friends around But foster home or family would be your best choice until you are on your feet Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

CC	I think you should talk to your mother about it, she'd be the best person to look after him in my opinion. It sounds like your in a hard part of your life right now, but that doesn't mean you have to give your son up. You could have your mom look after him until you get stable. Although she is moving.. right now it doesn't sound like your jobs too well so why don't you move with her? You need to keep your son healthy and strong and ramen isn't going to do that... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

peaches	If your mom is coming to town maybe she can offer some help for you and try to get on some programs like welfare, section eight,food stamps, title 20, honey there is a way to keep your one child and he not be a worry for you life is great and having and raising your child through struggles sometimes makes you a better person, but before you put him in any danger, neglect or any thing it may be the best thing but make sure this is a decision that you can live with, and try and seek help from the child's father, this decision you should not make with the advice of the yahoo boards, I am sure you have family,talk to them. I wish you well and comfort and peace in this choice and I hope you choose to raise your child. Aakask I know you did not read the question because abortion was not the question. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Greg	this is so sad, what i would do is, give him to your mom to raise him till you gather up money, you will miss him, but its the best thing to do Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Sarah M	Dont put him up for adoption or give him to another family member he loves you and it will also hurt him aswell as when he gets older he will think you didn't want him because as he gets older he will find out. And by keeping him your not being selfish your keeping him with the mother he belongs with try friends or family for the babysitting or see if you can take him into work. Don't give up your child like other mothers have you'll regret someday Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Opedial	This is a very personal decision. You cannot make this decision until your mental health issues have subsided. If your mother still lives near you right now...can she take your child for a bit while you get help for your mental health? I am more concerned with your suicidal thoughts than anything else. Your child does deserve the best, and that is you, his mother. Being poor is not a reason to give your child for adoption. That may be a temporary state. Get help wherever you can take it from, and remember, many people grew up eating noodles and not having much but don't see that as a bad thing. Poor is a state of mind. Everything going on in your life is temporary. You need someone to sit down with you and figure out how to solve the problems, one by one. Best of luck to you, but no, you should not give your child up for adoption. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥Puppy Lover♥	no please dont do this i am begging you my friend never knew her parents and she cries thinking y they gave her up and she had to suffer all these years not knowing why believe me everything will turn out okay suicide is not the answer and you are not selfish in keeping him he will be better off knowing his mom had a though time keeping him alive and loving him instead of giving him up. he will remeber you and remeber that you gave him up let him stay with someone while you try to work things out visit him often and just keep trying to find a new job try working two maybe a waitress or something small that you can do while your doing this one. i would so much want to help you more but please just dont give up he does not deserve more he deserves you and he needs you and he loves you thats all that matters! please dont giv up on him and yourself!!! i really hope i helped and please dont commit suicide!!!!!!!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Lovey	Well this choice is entirely yours. Have you considered help from the state? I have a friend who has the state pay for all of her daycare. Are you having a hard time getting a job? There is a lot of questions left to answer. I don't think I would "give" your son to a family member, because when you become stable you might regret giving him up. My mom was a single mom and she struggled a lot to keep us afloat and no I didn't always have the best things in the world.. but I have to ask this, what do you think your child deserve? Material possessions? Your child deserves safety, love, happiness. I would exhaust all your options, with state funding and what not, before you make this decision. Lastly, I know here in Ohio we have Catholic pregnancy centers that donate gently used baby items and will give you baby food. So I would once again, exhaust your other options first. I'll keep you in my prayers during this extremely hard time, good luck. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Veronica T	u do whats best in ur hart if u love him so much then im sure you'll do what it takes. there was i time when i was little all we ate we beans and rice.. you know i don't really remember that time i just know because my mom tells me.. i was a little chubby. but things got better and i have a good life.. i really don't remember the bad times.. all i know is my mom loved and took the best care she could of me... do what ur hart says not what anyone else tells u.. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

aloha.girl59	"Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Right now you don't have much money. That will most likely change sometime in the future. When you are making a better wage, do you think you will be able to be happy that you relinquished your son? I don't. You love your baby and he loves you. He would rather have YOU than a bedroom full of toys! Look into EBT (food stamps), WIC, and Medicaid in your area. There are a lot of programs to help with food and medical care for single mothers. If you need to change jobs so that you can make a little more money and/or have a more flexible schedule, do it! I waited tables for years when I was younger and the money was very good. I always had cash in my pocket from tips so I didn't have to wait for my paycheck every two weeks before I had a little money to spend. Talk to your mom. Find out if she really IS moving. If she is, maybe you could go with her and work out a plan where when one of you is at work, the other one watches your baby, and vice versa. There has to be a way that you can keep your child. If you give him up, you will regret it for the rest of your life...and so will he. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Connie D	i say no but that is me so you do what you think is the best thing for him Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Giselle	omg, that is so hard, but if i were you i would just get a job, you love your son dearly and i know i wouldn't have the courage to do that, what if someone adopted him and made his life miserable, worse than now, i don't think you would like that, i wouldn't give up my child for anything in the world, as long as he has his mothers love. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ka'ra	Can your mom care for him for a little while so you can sort everything out? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tish_part deux	um... there is no guarantee that any family you place your son in, will be immune from divorce, depression, bankruptcy, or abuse. hence, there is no way you can ensure how your child's life will be, unless he's with you. many young women make TEMPORARY guardianship arrangements with family members or approved foster parents, while they get on their feet. this way, you can focus on school, work, and getting things together WITHOUT the permanency of adoption. also, have you applied for WIC? working parents do qualify. and there are many ways to stretch you money so that your child can eat. email me, and i'll tell you what i used to do... have you looked into support groups (in person or online)? ps. keeping your child is NOT SELFISH. nor is giving up your child SELFLESS...people who want to adopt are not interested in giving you temporary respite...they want a kid... in other words, there's options. oh...OPEN ADOPTION IS NOT LEGALLY ENFORCEABLE. so please don't let anyone sell you that line of bull... good luck... Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

SharnieeRAWR	You can't give your kid up now. thats just so mean; Hes 1 he now understands when his mother isnt arround. <_< Just ask someone you known for ages and that he knows really well. and tell thm to look after him until you get back on track. and just keep visiting him. You can't give him up ; i would die if my mum did that to me i wouldnt like a life growing up without my mum. ;l You should of go on track before having a baby. you wouldnt be in this trouble then.. And im telling you this, If you give up your poor son that u had for one bloody yr now its too hard for u to let go, and it will be the most terrible mastike of ur life, he will wake up the next morning in a house he will notice people surrounding him and he doesnt even no them. You just cant give him up. No mother can partt from there first child. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Timid Women Rarely Make History	I would fight to keep him. Do you have WIC? And does his father pay support? If not,see about that right away! Also churches have been known to have food banks and free clothing for children and adults with low income. You just I believe you need an ID and your W2's from the previous year. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

gypsywinter	Why is your son only eating ramen noodles at 1 yr of age? Are you not availing yourself of food stamps and WIC? I work with a single mom who has 2 children and she receives no child support (she also doesn't make a big wage where I work). She has subsidized day-care thru Catholic Charities, I believe. Her children are on Medicaid, she receives food stamps and WIC. You can do it...you just have to explore the programs that are available to you as a single mom with a child. Does my co-worker have an easy life, of course not..BUT she is trying her best, in many ways, to be a responsible parent and loving mother. Make those phones calls...Please! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gaia Raain II	The problem is that you're looking at this situation all wrong. You say your child deserves better than what you can give him. In reality, there IS nothing better than what you can give him! NOTHING! Adoptive families are just as likely to fall victim to hard financial times as you are - so there goes that idea. Adoptive families are just as prone to depression as anyone else - there goes that, too. On top of that, your son will always have to wonder why he wasn't good enough (I just saw a question the other day from someone whose mother gave her up for adoption after a few months, and she felt as though her mother tried her out and decided she wasn't worth the mileage...very, very sad). There is no better place on the face of this Earth for your child than with his ONE AND ONLY mother. No other mother created him, carried him in her womb, gave birth to him...no other mother can soothe him like you can, no other mother has that bond with him that you have. NO other mother will do, but you. You ARE what he deserves. Don't take that from him. There is a way, I promise you. It will be hard, certainly. But your son deserves to be with his mother. Please be gentle with yourself. These are difficult times, and many people are feeling the pinch. It most certainly will not be easy to keep your little family together, and you will need a lot of support. But it is the best thing you could possibly do, in the long run. Best of luck to you and your precious son. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sweetjane	What?? No, that is not an option. You can contact your local Dept of Health and Human services and sign up for medical care, food and housing stipends, job resources and referrals, day care aid, medicaid for you and your baby. There is NO reason to give away your child. Besides, this child has a father....someone should be helping you financially. If he is not, not only can you have his wages garnished, but you are also entitled to back pay. If he isn't providing you with help for your baby, you need to contact him and social services immediately. YOU can take care of your child. All you have to do is ask for help from your family and the state DHEC. Please contact them immediately. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Alyssa	no, by age 1 they know who their mother is and theyre attached, there will be a way A DAYCARE if you qualify, you get free daycare from the state. theres the solution to your problems. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

♥SpicyHotStuff♥	Personally, If I grew up to be that boy, and had the best adoptive parents ever, In the long run, I would want to be with my BIRTH parents, and still be poor!!! I DUN THINK U SHOULD GIVE HIM UP, BEING THERE FOR HIM, IS ALREADY ALOT!!!♥ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ally	17 years ago, you were my mother.She was young and couldn't afford to give me the comfortable lifestyle she felt I deserved, so she put me up for adoption. It was because she loved me as much as she did that she was able to let me go. She selected my parents herself- and let me tell you she couldn't have chosen better. I was adopted to my now mom and dad, two of the most caring people alive; I feel that this was the best thing my birth mother could have done for me. I don't know a lot about her with the exception of her story, but I love her nonetheless. She did the hardest thing for a mother to do: let go. I was quite a bit younger than your son, however. And I don't know either of you or your relationship. I'm not telling you what you should do, just giving you my positive experience as an adopted child from a similar situation. Let me just say that it is people like you that keeps my hope alive for the human race. What you are even considering is so selfless and humane- it's very moving. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No