Adoption? Deciding to give baby up after birth?

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Fotomama	Oh, I am so sorry, sweetie! That is so sad. This website has free counseling and families who would absolutely love to give your precious baby a good, loving, two-parent home. You might be able to arrange an open adoption...if you choose. There is also counseling available and they might be able to help with some other things too. Take a look and see if they are for you. God bless, honey. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Oh me oh my...♥	Check out the website below. http://www.americanadoptions.com/ Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

christy1001	I do suggest talking to family if you have any to see if they might be able to help you out or even if one of them might consider adoption. I definately understand I think it is wonderful that you are honest and love her enough to want what is best for her. No you arent a bad person for considering adoption if she can't be provided for. I do say that don't worry if the father is going to be part of her life or not. You can be an awesome mom with or without him. I will pray that God helps you make a wise decision. Good luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mom to Foster Children	Let me say that this is one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make...why don't you look into some agencies and posibly meet with a councelor and see if you can arrange an open adoption with some family in your area. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ROBERT J	I am a mother of a 5 1/2 year old and a 6 month old, but also am a mother to a soon to be 11 year old girl that I gave up for adoption when she was 6 week's old. If you do decide to give your baby up for adoption, you will have a very hard and lonely road ahead of you that only few mother know! Please, please try to listen to your heart and not your head. Please go to ther nearest church that is in your area and ask for counselling, maybe the pastor at that church can help you out. I do know that since you do not have a job currently, both you and your baby will be able to get wic, maybe food stamp, and possibly help with your housing, you can look in your local phone book for the county that you live in and they can direct you to the proper person that you need to talk to, they might be able to help you find a job also. And please remember to listen to your heart, you will find the right answer. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Susan G	You need help. Call everyone, your parents, the bio fathers parents, friends parents, social services, support for pregnant/single mother. It sounds to me like you do not want to give up your little girl. You may think that this is what is best but the situation you are in right now is not going to last forever but your daughter does. You will find a job, you will be able to make positive changes in your life it just takes a bit of time. In the future you will even find someone who will fall in love with you and your little girl but right now instead of thinking of adoption look for help. Don't do something that you will regret for the rest of your life. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Herbie	Go and talk with an Adoption Counselor. I found mine at Catholic Human Services. I was already a birthmother and about to give another one up, I was about to be in jail, and pregnant. I didn't know what else to do, Life kept kicking me down and into a hole. I went and talked to Doree and she put out a mass e-mail to all of the adotpive parents that a birthmother needed help to keep her baby and needed financial support. She raised over 1000 dollars in about 3 hours. for me. They SHOULD do everything and anything in their power to make sure that adoption is not your only option. As soon as you walk into their doors, they are there for you. your baby is only a factor, but they're there for you. I know where you're at mentally right now, please get in touch. I have alot to say, and I'm all choked up, tearing up and the keyboard is getting wet. Go in and just talk, maybe look through pictures and portfolios. Let the fathers mom know. She'll at least make his life a living hell, there's some sick satisfaction in that. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kelly d	I right now am on my second child that I am adopting. Adoption is wonderful! Always make sure though that this is the right decision for you. There are many resources out there to help you! Please I now you want want is best for your baby , but don't give up on yourself raising her! You can do it. Resources are: children and families(they will collect your child support), go to churches for help, they will help you until you get back on your feet! Catholic charities helps single moms and so does salvation army. These places are here for single parents like you. Take advantage and get the help you need so you can keep your baby. By the way salvation army also provides day care . Alot of people will prey upon you to pressure you, Don't let this happen. If you choose to put your baby up for adoption let it be you choice! Goodluck I now you can make it! If I get some more information for you I will post. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kramerdnewf	There are two way you can to. First, to a private attorney who specializes in adoptions. Second, to a legitimate adoption agency in your community. Hope Cottage is an outstanding organization with a long list of waiting families. You are very wise and know that you can do an open adoption where children can be followed throughout their lives. Think about your child without a financial worry, with a chance for college, with a loving home and a happy intact family. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but Hope Cottage provides counseling. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Yummy mummy!	I am an unemployed, young, single mother in similar circumstamces to you, but my son means everything to me, he's my whole world, if you really love your daughter you'll find some way of caring for her and providing everything she needs! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

thejezowskis	From the adoptee's perspective who has found their birth family - adoption is never easy for anyone. Without knowing what resources you have tried tapping into so far, it's hard to make suggestions but there are all kinds of help out there but it can be tricky to get. I would say look into resources to assist you as well as talking to youf family about how they might help (ie: temporary move-in, loan, etc.) before you finally break down and commit to adoption. Once you get the child support coming in, that should help. You should be able to get some assistance with daycare, food (food stamps and WIC), and possibly cash assistance as well as insurance for your daughter through the government. The Red Cross should be able to help you with at least one month's rent. ModestNeeds.com can provide you some assistance but they will only do so twice so choose your requests carefully. You could look into Section 8 and subsidized housing in your area (IE: rent is based somewhat on income) or you could even look for a roomate in a similar situation or one that could help you out some. It definitely won't be easy but please hang in there - it sounds like you love your daughter very much and want to make it work. Should you consider adoption, I think an open adoption (as open as you can possibly get) would be your best bet. There are agencies that will work with you and basically allow you to pick the family you are going to give your child to and you get the chance to meet them in most situtions. Or you could see if someone you knew would be willing to adopt her or take custody of her until you can get your life back to where you'd like it to be. Should you choose the adoption route, know that you will always have questions even if you do reunite down the road - what if's are a big one. Should you want to chat some more and maybe I can look into assistance in your state with you, drop me an email. I'd be more than happy to help you. Best of luck and I know you can do it if you really want to! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Wise Advice	You are not being cruel, but generous, brave, and wise. If you have already made the decision--or even if you're still thinking about it--call an adoption agency. Their counselors will help you through the decision and the necessary steps. Chances are you will, if you wish, be able to maintain contact with your daughter and her adoptive family. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Niki D	You have no idea how much I wish I lived near you. I am a mother of three boys and despritely would love to have a little girl. But with the problems I had with the last pregnancy I am unable to do this. I would love to adopt a little girl, privately rather than through some big agency because I think it would just be nicer to have a relationship with the mother and be able to send pictures of the amazing gift. If I knew you I would be willing to give you whatever you needed to help pay for your rent for 6 months to help you have time to get a job. And extra money just to get your life together. I would love to have a little girl. I am an at home mother, my husband and I have been married 7 years and we go to church every sunday and my husband is studing to be a pastor. My boys are Josiah8, Jonathon 5, and Ethan 3 E-mail Address jn_devers@yahoo.com Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

misskristina617	If it's an option to move closer to your family, than if they are willing to help you, than you should take their help. Either way, there are programs like welfare, food stamps, wic, government housing, etc. that can help. Don't give up hope. Keep trying to do the best you can and things will have to get better. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

squeaker	as you really want to keep her maybe find a home for unwed mothers (i think they still exist) or look for resources in your area there are places that give you food,clothes,diapers,blankets and such for your baby stuff like welfare,food stamps and wic are very helpful to at least get your feet off the ground i hope you find what you need Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tigerluv66	First off, I am so terribly sorry to hear what has happened. Things will work out, but you have to be positive and just keeping your head up and walking towards the light at the end of the tunnel ~ there always is one you know. Secondly, as I'm sure you've thought of before, adoption is FINAL. No going back. You would no longer be her mother. You wouldn't get to be so many things to her that only mothers are. However, if you determine that this is the best and only course of action for the two of you, I would suggest you do an "open adoption" where the adoptive parents would allow you to see and sometimes visit with your daughter. Good luck hun, I wish the best for you both. But I beg you to explore ALL other options before you put your daughter up for adoption! This is so serious and final, I just can't say it enough. God bless, I wish there was more I could do to help. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

punda79	I'm very sorry that you are going through this situation. It melts my heart to hear how much you care for your daughter! I myself was adopted. I found my biological mother and she told me she had planned on keeping me up until pretty much the last day of her pregnancy. She came to a realization that she could not care for me or give me the things that I would need in life as well as somebody else. (She was 17 at the time) I ended up with my adoptive family and I thank her so much for giving me up. I don't believe I would be were I am today or have gotten to experience the things I have if she kept me. I'm not saying to give your daughter up, Lord knows I would have a very difficult time making that kind of decision if it came to my own children. I just think you should explore all options and keep your childs best interest at heart. Definitely talk to somebody about your situation that you trust and see what can be done for you both. I wish you the best of luck and my prayers are with you! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

afling78	It would be a wonderful, loving thing for you to do to find a happy two-parent household for your child. Don't ever feel that giving this child a better life with an intact family makes you a bad mother. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Shelly	Maybe you could move back to your family. If that's an option, go for it! If it's not, then I really admire you for truly thinking of your child first. That is a very difficult thing to do. There is help out there. Try your health department, department of human services, or agencies like that. In my state, there is assistance available for helping with daycare costs and medical issues. Be sure you've exhausted all of your options before you give up your baby. It's obvious that you are really a good mother. I wish you the best, and you are in my prayers. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

michelle w	please please please get help! where you live are there any organizations designed to help single parents? do you get any benefits as you are out of work at the moment. I realize that in some countries there is no state benefit like here in the UK. Talk to your family, heck give me their number i will call them!!! Is there any way you could move closer to your family? How about moving in with a family member just while you are getting back on your feet. I gave my first child up for adoption 11 years ago and although I know it was the best thing i could do at the time I would turn the clock back if I could. I now have three lovely kids and have suffered from post-natal depression with two of them, and I now believe that is why I lost my first daughter, but they didn't really know anything about it then. You may be suffering yourself and that won't help matters if you are. Please don't give her up, you will get through this, I promise!! You are going through a temporary blip, it won't last forever and it certainly won't have a detrimental effect on your daughter as long as you can feed and clothe her that's all she needs. Your love is more important than fancy clothes and toys. You never know what is around the next corner, it could all change tomorrow! I will be thinking of you and I'll say a little prayer for you too if you don't mind xx xx Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Andie	The hardest thing to do is to be a mother. Your choice right now makes all the difference for your life and your daughter. You love her I have no doubt in my mind about that, and you are a good mother. Your also realistic, you cannot provide for her at this point in your life and you do run the risk of the state coming in and taking her from you. I am a birth mother. I had a little boy when I was 18 and I knew I wouldn't be able to provide for him. I place him up for adoption and have a wonderful relationship with his parents and him (turning 5 at the end of May) If you honestly have to other means of caring for your daughter you should look into open adoption, you can still see her and be a figure in her life, but you don't have the burden of trying to care for the two of you while trying to pick up the pieces of your life. Only you can chose what it best for you and your daughter. it sounds to me like if you chose to keep you daughter you will be holding yourself and her back from wonderful lives. If you cannot provide for her give her a mom and dad, mom and mom, or dad and dad who can. Babies do not live by love alone and the financial support for her will only grow as she gets older. There are a lot of same sex couples and straight couples who would love to adopt a child and have the birth mother play a roll in the child's life. Good luck honey...if you need some one to talk to about the process of adoption or even just to talk to about being a single mother going through this...feel free to email me mandigirl683@yahoo.com Having been in a similar situation I understand the emotions and issues you are dealing with. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Gypsy Whitemoon	The absolute hardest thing to do is adopt your child out - I really think that you need to ring your family and tell your parent/parents you are having a real hard time and need help - yes it will be hard to swallow your pride and yes it will be very difficult but I cannot imagine how bloody hard it would be to give up my baby at 4 months. Do you get young mothers support over there? Are there services that can help. Reading your letter has really bought tears to my eyes. the other thing is that no one can love your baby as much as you - and there are stories of mums searching for their children 10-20 years later and the child also searching for their biological mum, no matter how nice the adopted parents are the child want the biological mother. I am a social worker and three life issues causes drug useage in children later in life 1) sexual abuse, 2) suicide of a parent, 3 being adopted. Coming to terms with being adopted out must be horrific - just wandering why mum wanted to give you away. Sometimes we place way to much on money - I cant urge you enough to ring your mother, sister, auntie, grandmother and tell them you are not coping and that you are considering adopting your daughter out. All you need is a little time to get your act together , thats all, and tell them that "all you need is a little time to get things together - maybe someone will help you with a room for a few weeks. Also there is are no guarrantees she will get a loving family - she might but like you their circumstances may change in a few years. Ring your parents, and email me if you want. Also put where you live like what state or country and I will look up services in your area, there must be church groups, the salvation army, government pensions - that type of thing. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Princess	Look there are crisis centers that can help with the housing. You can apply for government aide since your a single parent. But if you feel that things will not get better and the only choice of giving your daughter a life of love than you should consider adoption. When i was the same age as you i had my son and i was raising him on my own in a one bedroom apartment working 2 night jobs and a weekend one while spending adequate hours with my son. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

notjunecleaver	From reading this, I know that you are a good mother. Only a good mother would make such a decision-wanting the best life for her child. Try and see if your family will help you, or maybe a local church. Yes, raising her alone will be hard, but I think you can do it.. dont do something in haste, though..talk to clergy, family, friends first...this cannot be undone, so please, try the alternatives first Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

laurasimonuk	This poor woman needs an answer to her question not desperate people offering to take her baby! Come on people, have a heart! In my humble opinion, I think you are a brave and wonderful woman who deserves a break in life! I admire your courage and the fact that you are a good enough mother to realise that your child COULD have a better life (materially) with adoptive parents. However, my best friend is adopted and her bitterness toward her birth mother for giving her up changed my views some years ago. Her adoptive father was an alcholic and beat her up and her adoptive mother tried to kill her when she was 5. She has had a terrible life and she says she wishes her mother had aborted her!!! But maybe an open adoption would be better, as this way you would have contact with her and you would know what was going on. As someone above said, you cant be sure that your child will get a better life, but you can be sure that no matter how hard your life is your child will love you and be loved, and that makes up for material possesions any day. As the other people have all said, you need to phone everyone in your familly to get them to rally round. How about if your parents or your exes parents or any other family member had her for a few months while you re settle near them, get a job, go to college or whatever you need to get back on your feet. I just cant believe that you wont regret it if you give her up. She wont be a baby forever. One day she will be a young woman and your best friend. Good luck in this decision. My heart goes out to you! How many thumbs down do you think i will get :o( Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Rose	I don't know exactly what you are going through but i was adopted and when my birth mother gave me up I know that she was sad. I would say that the longer that you have your child the harder it will be to give her up. My adoption was an open adoption meaning that you would still be able to visit you baby throughout her life and have a relationship with her. Though my birth mother decided not to have one with me I'm sure it was just easier for her. But I'm happy were i am in life and with the parents that i have now because i know that they love me and that they will always support me. They also support the fact that i might want to look for my mother some day, and they don't mind. so as you can see there are a lot of things that you can do. write me back if you have any questions about adoption. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

ladybmw1218	As others have stated, I would check with your family to see if anyone would be willing to be a temporary guardian until your situation improves, which it will as you sound responsible and hardworking. Check with your parents, adult siblings, aunts and cousins. Adoption is permanent, though your financial problems are probably temporary and though I am an adoptive mother I think it should be a last resort. You could also try to get some help from social services. Contact your states department of family and human services and explain the situation...there are programs to help you and even interim foster care should your situation be that desperate and you have no family members willing or able to help. Best of luck! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

trehuginhipee	Wow, I am really sorry to hear about your situation! I have been stuck in some pretty rough situations myself, and have become pretty resourseful in the process. First off, for food, there are plenty of fish and loaves around the united states. Try to find one in your area. They give you food once a month. Then there is the issue of shelter. Call around and see if there are any churches that would be willing to help you out with rent. You may want to check out the government subsidized apartments in your area as well. Sometimes they are nice. There is also the department of job and family services. They can help with rent sometimes through a program called PRC. There may also be a head start program in your area. It is a preschool program, but they also have community outreach programs. If worse comes to worse, call family and see if you can stay with them. If not, and you loose your apt before you find a job, try to find a homeless shelter in your area. volunteers of america have shelters across the usa. I know that times are hard right now, but god doesn't give you anything you can't handle. There is a reason this child was given to you, try everything in your power to keep her before you give up! She is just a baby! She won't remember living in a shelter, or not having a lot of toys or clothes as an infant! The most important thing is that you love her! Show her that, take care of her! Have faith and believe that everything will be ok! Something will happen for you, for where there is a will, there is a way!!!! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

treys girl	ask family members if you could move back home or move in with them till you get settled so you dont have to give your baby up. even though you are going through some problems you cant give up yet. you can cut back to just the neccessaties such as lights water rent and food. but you should contact family, a mother father what have and see if they would be willing to let you live there till you found a job saved some money and moved out. most families would be understanding of the situation of you not wanting to lose your child. ask for state welfare as i do not believe in this there are some exceptions, as you, you have exhausted all of you resources you need this, you need some kind of government help you have worked and paid in you taxes you deserve it. as long as you are tryin to better your life. you can also check in with some of the churches around you area some of them may have some kind of program that helps people or mothers that are having problems. God will try you through out you life, pray and stand your ground with child support and trying your best and rely on the Lord and you will get through anything no matter how drear it may seam good luck and God bless, keep your head up and smile no matter what, it will especially help when looking for a job, do not dwell on the problems you are having in you personal life it will effect you getting a job Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

blooming chamomile	I am so sorry about what you are going through! I am very pro-adoption, but I'm not naive enough to think that it is always the best solution in every situation. For some, it would be, for others, maybe not. I don't think you are cruel in the least. I think you love your daughter and want what's best for her. First, if it was me, I would exhaust all other possibilities. Is there a family member who you could move in with until you get back on your feet? Have you applied for unemployment, WIC, housing assistance, food stamps, and all other public assistance? I'm not positive, but I think Goodwill or the Salvation Army may also be able to set you up with some help. Could you have your daughter stay with a relative you trust for a while? So at least you can do your job search. Try to get some help. There must be something out there that can help you out. I don't want to even try to sway you to keep her or give her for adoption. It is such a personal decision. You will be the one who has to search your heart and do what you think is the right thing. I hope you get it all worked out soon and wish you the best in whatever you decide to do. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

dixie_n_pixie	Have you talked to your family about the hard time you are having? Would they be willing to help you so that you may keep her? I have a five yr old, my one and only child and I could not imagine ever giving her up. Please talk to your family, friends, pastor, anyone for help. Don't give her up if you truly want this child. Fight for her! I wish I was close to you, I would gladly watch her so that you could work and get back on your feet. I know it must be hard but giving her up should not be an option. Maybe someone in your family would be willing to care for her so that you can get back on track...? I wish I knew more but all I can give is my heartfelt advice. Good Luck to you and your precious child! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No