Adoptees - would u rather you had been aborted?

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Atlanta	Um, no, I likes me some livin'! I am glad that she knew when to quit when it came to raising me though. Illequipped is an understatement. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Ary L	Gosh people leave her alone she made great points, and I totally agree. I am not adopted, but I have frineds who were and am thinking about adopting. I would think the baby would be happy to live. Its just a simple question stop getting so stuck up over it. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Jessica E	nope definately not, i had a great childhood after my mum left when i was 8 years old, and was happy from the day she went...that may sound harsh to those who love their mum... i love my step mum and step dad, now i am 18 i see my real dad but i wdnt have anything to do with my mum ever! but being adopted was the best thing that ever happened to me! im now 18 with a 3 year old son...yes young parent and all that but i just want to give him what i never got... hope this helps x x x Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

tattooedgemini	what a horrible question. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Rowan	no, i'd rather be alive and breathing. Where there is life, theres hope. ETA: i have recently found out that my bio mom had an abortion at some point(via a biological relative). That puts a bit of a spin on my views. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

louielou	i think this is a very tough question. i have three cousins that were all adopted from Russia and i am very happy that they were born and could come into a family that loved them very much. i think you should have rephrased this question instead of saying would you rather have been murderded by your mother instead of living in a loving family but that is just my opinion Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Cool Hal	For me no - I hate being adopted but love life. From your language I think that you are from the UK (as am I) - many posters in on adoption are from the US where both the welfare system and adoption processes are very different. But I do understand why you have asked the question - when I first heard the comment it made me think that it must be a suicidal nut case making it. But when you get to know people and understand what makes them work and function you realise why they think that. Whilst it is only a minority that feel this way it is yet another reason why the whole adoption process needs looking at. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Wander Woman	This is a pretty emotionally charged area. I can never say I wish I was aborted, but I distinctly remember a time during early college (when I was much TOO much caught up in my own head) sobbing to my parents (adoptive parents--weird to make that clarification) that I wish I had NOT been adopted, and instead had just been their plain old kid. The statement upset them--not because they thought that I didn't want THEM as my parents--but because they knew I was having emotional issues dealing with my feelings over finding/not finding my bio parents. I think bitterness comes in different ways to different people. My parents always taught me that my bm loved me, and that is why she wanted the best for me. As an adult now looking back on my life, I can see that my bm made a wonderful choice for me--my parents did a great job. I understand the bitterness too though. It's hard as hell to figure out "where you come from," and "where do you belong" as a non-adopted kid. Now add some sketchy, non-identifying info to that, and you get a complex. One more statement from the soapbox. Just because you're adopted doesn't mean you're "Pro-life." Maybe, just maybe, you're "Pro-Child," meaning that every single one that is born should be a loved and well-treated one. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

crazy	jesus people she was just asking a simple question if u would have rather been adopted or aborted. i understand where u are coming from. for me aborted. from home to home. putting up wit some of the families. finally sticking wit one.the guy i once called dad turned out to be a complte sleeze. treated me more liek his gf than a daughter. the hell i went through so yes life still has no gotten better. people say u should be thakfull for being alive. i say screw that. rather been dead than have to put up wit all the **** i went through. so this was just a simple question one or the other. no need to get so worked up about it. weather u like your life now or not. she is not telling u you weather you should or shouldnt be alive . so everyone should get over it. its just simple answer . Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

kateiskate	First of all, I would say it is partially my adoptive parents fault I was adopted. The adoption thing sucks, but life is pretty decent. Just like this question sucks, but yahoo is a decent company. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Independ"ant"	Whats with the assumption that they were given up willingly. Its sad that you're comfortable with kidnapping or coercion and consider that relinquishment. What kind of person would only help another person on the condition they give them their baby. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

BOTZ	Yes, I would. And, to those of you who think that only suicidal people would answer yes...OMG!!! The HARD part of being adopted, for me, is over. Well, the hardest part, anyway. I am reunited with my natural families. I have survived the life I had at the hands of my adopted family and am now free and self-sufficient. I no longer have to deal with them at all -- we have NO contact. Why would I want to die NOW? Sheesh, people! I would gladly "go back" and NOT suffer the life I did. My life NOW is fantastic. Wish I was aborted DOES NOT EQUAL suicidal. Just like the abortion/adoption question itself -- me wanting to have 'ended' BEFORE I was born has NOTHING to do with how I feel about living NOW -- at age 36. Good grief! Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

almost human	No you calm down. What kind of answers did you expect? Yes. Please shoot me? The only reason this is a question is because of the punctuation. You just want a soap box to get your opinion across, but saying something this INCREDIBLY OFFENSIVE is no way to do it. In fact, your hostility is showing... The adoption debate today is like African Americans protesting to vote and calling for an end to separate but equal status. The establishment asking, "What are you crying about now? Why can't you just be happy and appreciate the life you've got? Would you rather be a slave?" We adoptees have had, and continue to have, our civil rights violated - and the requisite fallout of that violation - and we will not put up with being characterized as the problem when WE are the ones who have had to suffer the problem. STOP blaming the first parents for everything. We had our identities wiped out and our histories erased. By the system, NOT our parents, whatever their character, lack of character, or varied circumstances. Our anger is justified. And maybe back then my good adoptive parents didn't know any better. But today there's no excuse for ignorance and perpetuating adoptee civil rights abuses is just WRONG. It may be too late for us, but to shut us up and tell us WE SHOULD JUST ACCEPT IT is b.s. And speaking out to make the world a better place was a POSITIVE act the last time I checked my history books. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009	abortion is ending a pregnancy adoption is choosing (sometimes) not to parent an already existing child so they really have nothing to do with each other. I gave my son up for adoption...never considered NOT going through with the pregnancy. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Orange	I am not adopted but honestly I can hardly believe this question. The only people who would answer that they would rather be aborted are surely only going to be the thoroughly depressed types who still have major issues and whose lives have been incredibly tough. Seems an odd question to me Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1	absolutely. it would have saved me from the hell of adoption. and it would have saved my mother fro the hell of being separated from her child. abortion is the kinder choice. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Freckle Face	As an adoptee, i can't believe you asked such as rude question. NO, Adoption has nothing to do with abortion. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

amyburt40	Are you glad that you were not aborted? Do you like answering that question? I know that my own adoptive mother would slap you silly. This is most insulting question that I have ever seen. I was born in 1965. ABORTION was NOT an OPTION for my mother unless she wanted to die in the process. Excuse me but I do not have a horrible life. I am just dedicated to getting my rights to my documents restored. So watch who you classify as bitter or angry. People like you make me angry because you show your ignorance. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

IDK!!	i can see where you would get that impression considering those who tell others considering adoption to "just have an abortion" some come right out and say they wish they were aborted. i don't think is right to assume (as i have in the past) that they ALL wish they were aborted. I imagine many very wounded people who suffer from their adoption/relinquishment turn to suicide. Very Sad. BTW: we all COULD have been aborted YET NONE of us were (obviously), We would never tell a chronically ill person who campaigns for a cure the same thing, right? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

SJM	This is not an easy question to answer politely. Many children are given a chance at life only to suffer death at the hand of a corrupt regime. Do they have a right to complain? Should they simply be grateful they were not aborted? Life is more complicated than being grateful for the opportunity to breathe. To reduce the purpose of life to such a base level is to refuse to engage in the pursuit of happiness. Most of us who have found our way here were never in danger of starvation. Most of us live in developed countries. Should we be blissfully silent because we fell into such luck? Or as citizens of prosperous nations, do we bear not only a right, but also a responsibility to speak out against corrupt political practices? In an industrialized nation, you will be hard pressed to find a greater injustice than those practiced within the adoption industry. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Rivkah ♥ עם ישראל חי	I adopted my kids after their parents died. Their father was a client of mine when he was a teenager, they wanted to try him as an adult (he was 16) for possession with intent to distribute. That is a federal crime that comes with a 135-month minimum sentence in Florida. I got his @ss back on track, made him go to community college (if I work for free, it's going to come with demands) and at 20, he was married, had a job, and his wife was pregnant. His HIV was dormant, so he passed it on to her without either of them knowing they had it. When they finally figured it out it was too late and at 22 they were both dead. He wrote in his will that he wanted me to take his twins (his next of kin are all in prison, or seriously messed up). I think my sons would rather have grown up with their first parents, but they can't. They didn't make that choice - and neither did their first parents. I think that they're going to be sad that such a bad thing happened to them at some point in time. Sometimes they'll be ungrateful, sometimes they'll yell at me or throw their food, cry and tell me they hate me, but so what? They're my children, and it's nothing that hasn't come from the ones I squeezed out of my vaginal canal. I will not tolerate them being belittled for feeling the way that they will feel. Humans have hearts and heads, and usually the heart feels things the head can't understand or that don't make any sense. That doesn't mean that they are wrong or up for public debate. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Laurel J	No, I'm not happy I got a chance at life. All the trees and birdies and non-adopted people around you, all got a chance at life. Yet only adoptees get asked to celebrate not having been aborted over and over and over again. I don't get defensive. I get tired of being told how to feel. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Anha S	why is it that adoptees seem to have a monopoly on the be grateful you weren't aborted front? Its getting really passe. If I'd been aborted, I wouldnt be around to care, now would I. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Helena B	sure woulda. been less painful than a lifetime of abuse. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Flying Monkey #073177	Well if I had been aborted I wouldn't have had to read your disturbing question. That would be a small blessing. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Isabel A	I've got news for you sweetie. The majority of women who relinquish never consider aborting their children. The question isn't abortion vs. adoption but adoption vs. parenting. This is actually a rude question to ask anyone. Seriously, do you go around asking non adopted that question because there is a good chance that many of their parents actually DID consider abortion. It happens. My biological mother never considered aborting me. Most women who relinquish don't. Your theory is flawed and based in myth. Sorry if your bios wanted to abort you but many adoptees find that their bios wanted them very much. ETA: What a joke. you have the nerve to come here and tell adoptees to be grateful they weren't aborted (because obviously our lives aren't worth much) and then you tell us not to get defensive. What should we do, lie down and take it? Your question is bigoted and insulting and we adoptees who are offended by your ignorant and insensitve question are the ones with the problem now? I don't think so. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Mei-Ling	My mother had never considered aborting me. = = Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

sublowe	what ur asking me if id rather not be born? hell no!!! i love my family .. these parents are my parent, i dont care who gave birth to me .. my mother was a coward. shes not my real mother. my parents have taken care of me all my life, brought me up right, helped me with my college education .. they are my real parents ... seriously what kinda freaking question is this? Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Temperance	Divorcees- Would you have rather gone to couples counseling? Inmates- Would you rather be a celebrity to get out of everything? This isn't a fair question. I love life. I would like to have maybe changed the past but that is impossible. End of Story. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

Linny G	maybe partial birth abortion. because then, part of my brain would be missing and I wouldn't miss my first family. Sound ridiculous? So is your question. Go drink some more Kool-Aid. Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No

C Wood	How can you ask a person this? The only people who'd say they wished they were aborted is people who are suicidal! Just because people are bitter doesn't mean they are suicidal! cw Was this answer helpful to you? Yes / No